I was standing in the shower, face in the stream of water, when my daughter poked her head 'round the curtain. "I can't get my bathing suit on!" she cried. Silly her for expecting me to manage the bathing suit while I was bathing? Au contraire, mon frere! Silly me for expecting to complete a shower with a child in the house.

I never knew I'd consider a shower a luxury. And then I had a child.

You've been there, haven't you? You became a parent and presto, change-o, things you took for granted for so long in your child-free days became parental luxuries.

Not sure what I'm talking about? Maybe this will help:

1. Pooping alone.

2. Peeing alone.

3. Drinking a cup of coffee while it's still hot. 

4. Eating a chocolate bar that you don't have to share.

5. Your own music on the radio.

More From The Stir: Sending Your Kids on Vacation Without You Is Good for Everyone

6. Sleeping in.

7. Water bottles that don't have backwash in them.

8. Quiet.

9. Grocery shopping without an argument about popsicles (or sugary cereals or gum).

10. Restaurants that don't have chicken fingers or hot dogs on the menu.

11. Vacations that don't include amusement parks.

12. A clean backseat.

13. Catching up on your favorite show (before 10 p.m. and without demands for water or another tuck-in). 

14. Books with more than a few hundred words (none of which rhyme).

15. Breakable home decor.

16. Your own room.

17. Your own bed.

18. Letting off a stream of curse words when you stub your toe.

19. Light switches in the off position.

20. A complete thought.

Is this you? What do you consider a luxury now that you have kids?

Images by Jeanne Sager

A dad who killed his three daughters in a twisted revenge plot against his ex-wife thought he'd get out of prison with an insanity defense. Good news: it didn't work. Aaron Schaffhausen won't ever see the light of day again. A Wisconsin judge handed down not one, not two, but three life sentences this week.

And no, Schaffhausen won't have a chance at parole.

Thank.

Goodness.

You know what this means?

It means that each of these children meant something, means something to the courts, that each child's death is being avenged, not lumped in with her sisters.

As Judge Howard Cameron, who chose the maximum sentence available under Wisconsin law for Schaffhausen, explained, he wanted to show "each child is so important."

Oh, and it also means Schaffhausen's play to get himself out of prison by pleading guilty by reason of insanity rather than not guilty (his initial plea) didn't work. He's still going to pay, REALLY pay for being a monster.

Think three life sentences are overkill? Isn't one enough? Maybe from a legal standpoint, yes, but when you consider the crimes he committed, it sounds just right to me.

This so-called dad arranged for an unscheduled visit with his children, then he slit each child's throat, tucked them into bed, and set the house on fire. It wasn't until after it was too late to save the girls that Schaffhausen then called ex-wife Jessica and told her "you can come home now" and told her that her daughters were dead.

Now you see why I called him a monster. I wasn't hyperbolizing.

The scary thing is, this monster could have gotten just 20 years in prison followed by supervised release.

He could have walked free.

That he won't is a win for the girls' mother, for their memories.

Of course, life sentences, with or without parole are not nearly as good as having his three daughters alive and well and doing what little kids are supposed to do. But in light of what he did to 11-year-old Amara, 8-year-old Sophie, and 5-year-old Cecilia, this sentence is pretty darn good news.

What do you make of the sentence? Enough? Too much?

Image via St. Croix County Sheriff's Office

There was a time when parents didn't use bug spray on their kids. Bug bites were just a part of life. And then came the Lyme disease and West Nile virus and a host of other diseases hitching a ride on insects, just waiting to get our kids. Protecting your baby from bugs isn't just about the annoying bite anymore. It's keeping scary disease at bay.

But like all things in parenting, that's easier said than done. For every scary disease out there, there's a bottle of chemical-laden bug repellent just waiting to make our delicate little babies sick.

It almost doesn't seem worth it, does it? We put all this time into finding non-toxic laundry detergents and shampoos, only to be told we need to put something on our babies that's quite literally made to kill a creature!

Only keeping the bugs away is worth it, at least if you look at the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention statistics. The number of cases of Lyme disease has more than doubled over the last 15 years. There were more than 24,000 confirmed reports in 2011. Since 1999, the CDC has received official reports 37,088 cases of West Nile virus and 1,549 deaths related to the mosquito-born illness.

So what the heck is a parent to do? Can we protect our babies from bugs without exposing them to a raft of toxic chemicals?

Now for the good news -- we can. And we don't have to put them in bubbles to do it! Cue happy dance (don't worry if you're holding the baby, it will help get out the gas bubbles).

Here are the best tips to keep your baby safe from bugs! Some are common sense ... but some might surprise you (they did me!).

How are your handling the big bad bug season with baby?

Image via donnierayjones/Flickr

An Oregon neighborhood has been rocked by the arrest of a father and son on charges of sexually abusing young girls. Can you just imagine how you'd feel if that was your neighbor? Well, it gets worse. Cops say 46-year-old Bryan Payne regularly offered to babysit his neighbors' kids, and he's been doing it for years.

If the charges are true, it seems Payne, who lives with his father, 72-year-old Lynn Payne, played himself off as Mr. Nice Neighbor, but when kids got inside his house, they met Mr. Hyde and his pops.

The Paynes allegedly abused at least two girls under the age of 10 years old in the last two to three years. That would be bad enough. Is bad enough.

But the police in Washington County, Oregon, now find themselves having to track down countless other families who trusted Bryan and his father with their kids. They need to know: were these girls the only victims? Because, unfortunately, the police don't think they are.

The whole story makes me want to grab a trash can and throw up this morning. No little girl deserves that.

No parent should be put in a position where they have to go ask their child, "Hey, is the nice man down the street not so nice after all?"

We have to trust our gut when it comes to people we encounter in our neighborhoods, but sometimes your gut turns out to be wrong. And no feeling can be worse than knowing you got it wrong with something so vital: the safety and well-being of your child.

But the truth is, monsters live among us, and they are doing their darndest not to show us their true colors. That's what makes them dangerous -- how kind and neighborly they seem to be on the outside.

I can't help but think what it must have been like for those little girls. Their parents trusted this man! They thought he was just a nice neighbor who liked kids. They didn't think they were sending their kids into a house of horrors. As for the girls -- they had no control. Their parents left them there (again, not blaming the parents here, they didn't know), and they were trapped with not one but two monsters.

If these allegations about Bryan and Lynn Payne turn out to be true, I can only hope that the parents now stuck asking their kids if something happened at the Payne house strike out.

Would you be suspicious of two guys in the neighborhood offering to babysit kids, or would you have done what these parents did, trusted that they were just good guys who liked kids?

Image via Washington County Sheriff's Office

How's this for twisted? A mom has admitted to police that she tried smothering her baby daughter in the hospital just to get attention from a nurse and now she's facing murder charges ... for allegedly smothering her son four years ago!

When Ashleigh Jennifer Casey'sinfant son died in 2009, cops thought it was an accident. The child had stopped breathing before, and Casey's grandmother, a registered nurse, had revived him. It was open and shut.

Until now.

Casey took her daughter to the hospital a number of times earlier this year, and doctors never found anything wrong. On one trip, she allegedly alerted a nurse that her daughter wasn't breathing, but the nurse quickly revived the child. That seemed suspicious to her doctor, who alerted cops.

They talked to Casey and the story came out. The Minnesota mom allegedly admitted to trying to smother her daughter in the hospital -- fortunately not succeeding -- and to having smothered her son four years ago! She allegedly had held a blanket over the boy's face a few times, but he'd always come back until that last, tragic time.

And until now ... she got away with it, was even able to have another child.

If you think about it, by allegedly trying to smother this girl, she may have saved the girl's life. It got her taken away from her mom, away from that risk.

Not to mention it got Casey on the hook for murder charges.

She sounds like a psychopath, right?

Maybe not. Because on top of the issue of trying a woman for a death that happened four years ago and was initially ruled as natural, there's this: Casey may be claiming she has Munchausen by Proxy Syndrome, a mental illness categorized by parents faking an illness in their child, usually for attention from medical professionals.

Essentially, if it's true, it means Casey smothered her kids to get attention.

Sick?

Yes.

But not just in the "who would do that?" sense. Munchausen by Proxy is considered an actual mental illness.

So sending a woman to prison for murdering her child and assaulting another (that's the charge for the attempted smothering of the little girl) isn't so easy.

This is where common sense and our kneejerk reaction to crimes that hurt kids collide. One part of me wants to see a woman who did this strung up by her toenails. The kids deserve that kind of justice.

But the other part of me -- the part that's guided by my brain, not my heart -- recognizes that mental illness is not fun and it's not something we can control. You can't expect a woman who is, quite literally, sick to have done anything different, as tragic as it sounds.

Something tells me that as this case plays out in the courts, we on the outside will be tested mightily on how we are able to put these two competing issues to bed together.

What do you think they should do with this mother if she's convicted? Should she go to prison?

Image via police

The death of Cory Monteith from a dangerous heroin and alcohol combination may not seem like a big deal to parents. Sure, it's sad, and maybe you and your kids enjoyed watching him on Glee, so it will be a little bittersweet when the show returns to TV. But really, he's a 31-year-old man who you didn't know, so why should you care?

Because our kids watch him on TV?

No.

You should care because Cory Monteith could be your kid.

Just look at him. Fresh-faced. Clean cut. Cory Monteith was every teenage boy in America. That's exactly why he was chosen to play Finn Hudson on Glee.

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But Cory Monteith was also a heroin addict who started doing drugs at just 12 or 13.

He was a high school dropout at 16. He first went to rehab at 19.

To look at his face, to look at his career, you wouldn't know it. He had it together; he had success. But this is the reality of addiction: it crosses gender, race, socio-economic backgrounds.

A clean cut every boy could just as likely be the next kid to fall prey to heroin as the teen whose look tells you to "walk faster" when you spot them hanging out in the alley.

This is why parents should care about Cory Monteith's death, because he is the face of every teenage boy in America and the face of heroin at once.

According to a recent study by the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA), there's been an 80 percent increase in first use of heroin by teens since 2002. Eighty percent. That's huge.

It points to the availability of heroin and also to a decrease in the fear of the disease. I grew up in a small town where marijuana was prevalent but heroin was both foreign and terrifying. We were scared of heroin; we didn't want to get it.

Today, the SAHMHSA study indicates that kids who might have stolen their parents' prescription medicines in the past are now shifting to heroin. They're not scared of it. They're seeking it out.

And parents should be watching.

But if you don't think Cory Monteith's death from a heroin overdose is something to be concerned about, will you be watching? Will you see it if it happens to your kid? 

Are you shocked by what's happened to Monteith? Did he seem like the typical heroin user to you?

Image via Instagram

Sometimes I yell at my daughter. I'm not proud of it. I'd blame it on being a working mom, but I think that's too easy. It's not the fact that I work that makes me frazzled enough to lose my temper. It's the fact that I'm human.

So when family psychologist John Rosemond announced in a recent essay that "yelling has become epidemic in American mommy culture," I actually snorted out loud. Moms have yelled for generations!

The difference? Some moms today have actually figured out it's not the best thing to do ... and we apologize to our kids.

At least, I do.

If I slip up and I'm too sharp with my daughter, I immediately tell her I'm sorry for my tone of voice.

Does that mean I'm a pushover mom, what Rosemond calls a "milquetoast mom" who really only yells because she was so busy bending over backward for her kid to begin with that she ended up frustrated and lost her cool?

I don't think so.

I am not apologizing to her for disciplining her. I'm apologizing to her for doing it in a way that, quite frankly, I wouldn't do with anyone else. I wouldn't yell at my boss or neighbor, I wouldn't scream at my husband or the woman at the post office.

Ask any mom I know if she'd be OK screaming at the top of her lungs at an adult, and she'll say, "No."

So why is it that we yell at our kids? Why is it that there are moms who are OK yelling at their kids, moms who would (and have) scolded me for apologizing to her?

This is one of the crossroads I've reached as a mom, where I diverge in the woods with other parents who I often respect on other matters. 

I want to be a mom with authority. Who doesn't? I want to be a mom whose child respects her, and by and large I am (aside from her insistence on walking in on me in the shower). I can -- and do -- still discipline with a firm voice at a modulated volume. She has manners, and her friends' parents insist that she's a delight when she goes to their homes.

But I also want to be a mom who can go to bed at night feeling like I did a good job of practicing what I preach, a mom who can actually say "do as I do" not just "do as I say."

If I scream at her, what am I teaching her?

To scream. To yell. To treat people in ways none of us want to be treated.

On the other hand, if I apologize to her for slipups, I teach her myriad things I want her to learn: that people are imperfect, that it's OK to mess up once in awhile, that it's important to see your mistakes and try to fix them.

I want her to know it's OK to say "sorry."

I'm not proud that I sometimes yell at my kid. But I'm not too proud to say I'm sorry.

Do you apologize to your kids for yelling at them?

Image via butupa/Flickr

Well, we finally know why Teen Mom stars Catelynn Lowell and Tyler Baltierra called off their wedding. This week's Couples Therapy gave us a look at the tough childhoods the Michigan teenagers went through. It also let us in on a private session between Tyler and celebrity therapist Jenn Berman.

And from the way Tyler was talking to Berman, there's no way he should marry Catelynn.

Tyler admitted to Berman that he sometimes wonders if he and Catelynn both settled for each other ... and if they're together because they're afraid of being with someone else. Not only are they bound as childhood sweethearts who had a child together and went through the difficult process of adoption, but they both came from tough childhoods.

During group therapy, Tyler revealed that he remembers his father finally coming home from prison when he was just 8 years old, only to then have to watch his dad tackled by police outside his home. At 8 years old, he was outside trying to pull the cops off his dad.

Catelynn's childhood memories were just as painful. She told the group that she remembered wild parties at her home when she was a little girl, often finding her mom passed out. At times Catelynn wasn't able to rouse her mom, and she feared she was dead. It wasn't until she met Tyler that Catelynn seems to have found any real happiness:

I had to go to Tyler's house, and thank God his mom, like saved me She took me in like her own and just let me live there.

But with the many people who have failed her over the years, Catelynn fears Tyler leaving her. He, on the other hand, fears letting her down.

Watching him talk to Berman, it's obvious Tyler feels trapped because he DOES love Catelynn, and he doesn't want to hurt her. But he dropped a lot of words tonight that are giant red flags for any couple getting married, words like "settling" and "easier just to."

More From The Stir: 'Couples Therapy' Recap: Tyler Baltierra Was Born for This

Those are NOT words you hear from an excited groom, someone who is ready to commit to a marriage. They ARE words you hear from someone destined fordivorce.

Fortunately for these kids, Tyler has the maturity to put his foot down. He went to Catelynn and admitted he just isn't ready, and that he doesn't think she's ready either.

It was hard to watch Catelynn hide in bed and cry as her world fell apart. But knowing that these two are still together in real life (they just passed the nine-year mark of their anniversary) even though their wedding date has come and gone without them getting hitched, we do know they made it through this tough time.

And if they can make it through this, that should answer a lot of Tyler's questions.

What do you think of Tyler breaking things off?

Image via VH1

Most parents walk into the hospital already knowing what they're going to name their baby, or they have some idea. But for hundreds of parents who have given birth recently, there is still no name for their little pumpkin. They've left the hospital, brought the baby home, and they're waiting. Waiting, that is, for Kate Middleton to give birth.

As if the Duchess didn't already have enough pressure to go into labor, what with the entire WORLD watching her belly! Now she's got babies counting on her to give them a name!

This news comes out of -- where else -- Britain, where a survey of new moms revealed 10 percent of them were sitting tight until the royal baby arrives so they can copy the Wills and Kate.

It's ... well, it's a little whacka-doo, don't you think?

Babies aren't like dogs! You don't just say "NO!" and "Sit" and "Stay" all day long to them. You call them by name!

Although ... come to think of it ... we were already coming up with nicknames for our daughter just a day or two after she was born, some of which we still call her today. Moms and Dads do spend a lot of the early days just whispering sweet nothings in baby's ear.

So, OK, maybe it isn't that crazy to wait awhile before giving your baby a name that they'll have for the rest of their life? It's not like they KNOW you're waiting.

Things might be a wee bit tough if the prince and his beloved come up with a baby name that is very gender-specific (Edward? Victoria?), seeing as these new moms are really hedging their bets that the royal baby will be the same gender as their own child. BUT we know the royals tend to go with pretty normal, down-to-earth baby names, so letting Kate Middleton and Prince William essentially name your baby while naming their own is probably a lot safer than letting the customers at Starbucks do it for you (I wish I was kidding on that one).

Let's just hope Kate pops soon -- for her sake and these babies'!

Would you wait to name a baby? How long would you give it?

Image by Jeanne Sager

Justin Bieber has done it again. The 19-year-old went out and got yet another permanent piece of body art that he'll have to live with forever. But don't expect his mom, Pattie Mallette, to flip out over this one. The teenager's new tattoo is a tribute to her!

And OK, it's also slightly creepy. But hey, we are talking about Justin "Pees in Restaurant Mop Buckets" Bieber here. 

The Biebs shared this photo on Instagram the other day with the caption:

@bangbangnyc did this art ., Moms always watching ;)

Get it? That's Justin's mother's eye, and it's now on his arm. And here I thought we moms were just supposed to have an extra eye in the back of our heads. Go figure!

I have to admit I'm shocked when teenagers get tattoos. Call me old school, but I think you should think long and hard about something that will be on the body for the rest of your life. Most tats I've seen on teens are very fad-ish (barbed wire 'round the bicep, anyone?) or tied to things that they will likely grow out of (hello cartoon character!).

But I have to admit getting a tattoo that pays tribute to your parent doesn't bother me. Maybe it's because I'm a mom and the thought of my daughter wanting to do something that sweet for me makes my heart go pitter pat? It's a little self-centered, I know, but there it is.

The less egotistical side of me likes tattoos that pay tribute to parents because, let's face it, we aren't someone (or something) who is a passing fancy. This isn't getting a high school girlfriend's name inked on you; it's your mom, who will always be in your life.

If they're going to insist on getting a tattoo so young, at least it's something they can live with.

How do you feel about tattoos on teens? Do you feel differently about Bieber's latest because of the meaning?

Image via Instagram

It's a big day for one of the world's heroes. Nelson Mandela, the revolutionary who battled South Africa's racist apartheid policies to become the country's first black president, was hospitalized in early June with a lung infection. At the time, media reports put him near death. But he's always been a fighter, and he held on. Today on his birthday, Mandela turns 95.

The former South African leader's life has never been easy -- from the death of his father at just 9 to spending 27 years in prison for his role in fighting for the rights of his nation's people. But today, on his birthday, we honor the Nobel Peace Prize winner for what he has accomplished as much because of his hardships as despite them.

Here's a look back at some of the great leader's most famous quotes over the years.

From quotes about courage to quotes about education, they're a reminder of just why Nelson Mandela is a man who can stop the world when he speaks.

Which is your favorite?

Image via South Africa the Good News/Flickr

Florida mom Ashley Wright was arrested this week for shoplifting and child abuse. How do those two go together, you might ask? Well! Cops in Florida say the 23-year-old mom threw her baby at a deputy as she made her getaway after being busted for stealing clothes from a Dillard's.

What kind of person uses a baby as a human shield? That's pretty much what happened here from the sounds of it.

The arresting deputy claims Wright even said, "You will have to shoot through the baby to get me.”

This was about a 3-month-old, folks! A 14-pound helpless infant who was thrown, while still in the carrier, through the air. All for $261 worth of clothes?

That says a lot about the value put on a human life here, about this mom's priorities.

Granted, if you're shoplifting clothes with your baby in tow, you probably weren't up for mother of the year to begin with. But shoplifting is pretty minor on the crime scale. It makes you a criminal but not necessarily an evil soul.

Telling someone they can shoot your baby? That's twisted.

That's not mother material. That's not even pet owner material.

That's owner of a pet rock material.

Wright is charged with petty theft, child abuse, and resisting an officer. Here's hoping that will keep her away from her poor baby for a good long time.

What do you think of the charges here? Is it enough for what this mom is accused of doing?

Image via Okaloosa County Sheriff’s Office

Being a one and done mom, sometimes I look at my friends who have a bunch of kids and I just watch with an open mouth. I say this with 100 percent sincerity: these women amaze me. Things that make me frantic with just one kid don't seem to faze them at all, and I always wonder if they're privy to some great secret of the universe open only to people who have several kids.

I want to know that secret!

Fortunately, some of these moms are willing to share. Take Kathy Bessmer, a mother of 16 (SIXTEEN!) kids, who recently did an interview with Omaha.com about how her family functions.

Most of us don't have 16 kids, would never have 16 kids (Bessmer herself admits she wanted a big family but never planned on 16 ... it just kind of happened thanks in part to the adoption of three of her brood).

But after reading the article (check it out to see photos of all the kids and how flat this woman's stomach is!), I think I may have a handle on at least a few things those of us with fewer kids should/could be implementing to make life less frenetic. These are my favorites from the Bessmer home:

1. Give kids their own space, and make THEM responsible for it. The basement in the Bessmer home belongs to the kids, and THEY have to care for it. They also have to make their own beds; she refuses to touch them. Technically, my kid has a playroom (shared with my office) and a bedroom, and she's responsible for cleaning each, but I'll admit sometimes I get fed up and just do it for her. I need to stop that! If Kathy Bessmer can, I can too.

2. Don't be afraid to get help. Bessmer is blessed with the gift of music, and she teaches her kids how to play instruments ... but only to a point. The family pays for music teachers as the kids get older. Lesson in there? Just because you CAN do something for your kids doesn't mean you HAVE to. It's OK to farm some of these things out to give yourself breathing room.

3. Make time for yourself. Would you believe a mother of 16 still goes to the gym pretty much every day? I have one kid, and I never get to the gym.

4. Teach them how to do things themselves. I suppose this goes hand-in-hand with the aforementioned "give them a space and make them responsible," but I was impressed to read that Bessmer's 16-year-old is called "Mom" by her friends because of her aptitude at sewing, baking, and balancing a checkbook. Sometimes we forget that our kids COULD do more for themselves, if someone just got them started.

5. Watch your finances but take a vacation. The Bessmers have 16 kids. They make their own laundry detergent at home to save money. But they STILL sock money away every month to take a family vacation.

6. Write things down. Most of us don't need a color-coordinated schedule like Kathy Bessmer (this thing is a work of art!), but to be a mother is to know that your brain is not quite what it used to be pre-kids. Don't be ashamed of the need to put it all down on paper. It may just save your sanity!

Check out this awesome mom in action:

Soooo, do you think you could handle these tips from a mom of 16?

Image via Omaha.com

With most missing child stories, police are desperate to find witnesses. But in the case of a 21-month-old girl missing in Oakland, California, finding a witness isn't the problem. Baby Daphne Webb's grandmother was right there when she went missing a week ago.

The only problem? Daphne's grandmother can't tell the police what happened to her granddaughter because she has dementia.

This is what life is like for people slowly watching the ones they love disappear into a cloud. They look like the person they have loved for years, but they don't act like it. And there's very little that the average person can do to change it.

It's frustrating.

Frustrating for people who are watching it happen.

Frustrating for the police working the Daphne Webb missing persons case.

The toddler's father, John Webb, claims that he left his daughter in the car with his mom on July 10 so he could run into a convenience store to make a purchase. He was initially arrested on child endangerment charges for leaving a child with a caregiver who has dementia, but prosecutors dropped the charges.

But here's where things get really strange. Not only is Daphne's 87-year-old grandmother unable to explain where her granddaughter went, she's the only one who can confirm John's story. The child's mother was in rehab at the time of the incident, and the rest of the little girl's family says they haven't seen her since June. 

No one but this 87-year-old woman with dementia can say if the child went missing on July 10 or way before that, if someone took her from the car or something else horrible happened.

It looks like the cops are back to square one -- find witnesses ... other than the witness they have.

Our hearts go out to this little girl's family. We hope she's found soon and that she is OK.

Image via Oakland Police

The search for missing Wisconsin toddler Isaiah Theis is over. The 2-year-old's bodywas found a day after he disappeared while playing with his big brother in the family's yard. Sadly, he didn't get far.

Cops say they found Isaiah late Wednesday night in the trunk of a car. The car belonged to a customer of Isaiah's dad, who fixes them on the family property in western Wisconsin.

The fact that a 2-year-old died is heartbreaking.

The fact that he was under the noses of the searchers this whole time? That makes me want to ball up my fists and slam them on the table in frustration.

Police say they were told the car was locked, but they did peer inside. They even looked all around it. But they didn't look inside the trunk, at least not until more than 24 hours had passed. They'd technically called off their search when one police officer went for the trunk.

So far the police haven't said what it was that finally DID send them to the trunk of the car, nor have they released a cause of death -- little Isaiah's body is being autopsied.

In the meantime, it's hard not to wonder if Isaiah would still be here if someone had thought to look in that trunk earlier. If he was alive when he went in there, it's hard not to wonder what it was like for this little guy, knowing he was still home, thinking his big brother would come get him or Mommy and Daddy would save him.

Sadly, we may never know. The rescuers did they best they could in a horrible situation. And I'm almost positive they all went home and hugged their own children a little tighter.

Image via police

"What's it like to have a brother with autism?" That's the question Spencer Timme is asked again and again and again. And so the 20-year-old has made a video to answer it. The video is six months old, but it's just gone viral in the past week, giving people a look at life for Spencer and brother Mitchel Timme.

Mitchel has autism. But the brothers are like any other set of siblings. They pick on each other. Laugh with each other. Hug each other.

This is what it's like to have a sibling with special needs.

They're just your sibling.

Sure, they may be different from other kids, but when you grow up in the same house as a child, the way they are is what you know. It isn't until most kids leave the house and people start to tell them that their sibling is "different" that most kids even realize that their family is unique.

That's not just what I took away from the beautiful tribute video Spencer Timme made for Mitchel.

It's what I've seen from the outside looking into dozens of sibling relationships in which one (or more) of the children is classified as "special needs." It's what I experienced growing up in a family with a brother who had ADHD and a number of other diagnoses that technically qualified him for special education assistance.

My brother is a little different, but he's just my brother. He makes me laugh sometimes. He makes me cry sometimes. He makes me want to tear my hair out sometimes. But at the end of the day, we share the common bond of having grown up in the same house, having shared the same memories, the same bad jokes, the same tendency to burn the moment we catch a ray of sunlight. We are as different as night and day, but we are still brother and sister.

Our differences don't change that.

It would be remiss of me not to admit that kids with special needs siblings do have different experiences. Actress Holly Robinson Peete wrote an excellent children's book, My Brother Charlie, specifically to address the fact that it's not always easy being the neurotypical kid in a family where the parents have to devote so much time and focus to a sibling because of their diagnosis.

But at the end of the day, this is simply life for these kids. This is how their family operates. And the beauty of the relationship between kids like the Timmes is that a sibling has always known a sibling this way; they don't judge in ways that the outside world does. This, to them, IS "normal." It's the way it's supposed to be. And that's OK.

Take a look at Spencer's beautiful video about his brother:

See this video on The Stir by CafeMom.

What's the relationship between your kids like?

Image via Spencer Timme/YouTube

My cellphone went off the other day right on time. It was my babysitter's mom, checking to see that her new teenage driver had made it to my house in one piece. I scooped it up and texted her back right away -- no sense making her worry any longer than she had to -- and marveled at how much times have changed for parents of teenagers.

When I was a new driver, my parents sent me off with fingers crossed. Cellphones came in giant bags, and they were much too expensive to give to your teenager. As for texting, there was no such thing.

They were worried, just as worried as my babysitter's mom, but they had to just keep on worrying until I got home.

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It can be easy to get into the trap of "OMG, parenting is so hard." It is, I hear you. The number of the things I have to deal with that my parents never even dreamed of keeps on growing.

But a little optimism never hurt anyone, so I'm going to come out and say it ... in a lot of ways, we are a heckuva lot luckier than our parents.

How lucky are today's parents?

Let's just consider all the things they have ... that our parents didn't!

What would you add to this list?

Image via mikebaird/Flickr

It's been hard to look away from the investigation into the mysterious death of 6-year-old Alanna Gallagher in Saginaw, Texas. The little girl was found in the middle of her family's street wrapped in a tarp just before the July 4th holiday. Since then, we've heard about her parents' polyamorous relationship, heard word that a pickup truck police have been looking for may have been involved in an attempted abduction of two other little girls, and now things have really gone off the rails. 

Just three weeks after Alanna was reported missing by her family, there were not one but two fires at the family's residence this past weekend.

Police say at least one, a fire that burned the Gallagher family sedan in their front yard after they went to bed, was arson. A fire of a makeshift memorial set up for Alanna is still undetermined -- there is the possibility that it was sparked by a candle.

Fortunately Alanna's siblings weren't home at the time of the car fire on their lawn, and the police have said there have been no direct threats to the family. Still, it's unsettling ... to say the least.

What are the odds of two fires at one residence in a matter of hours? It's so unbelievable I wouldn't believe it if it weren't for the reports straight from the cops. This family is being dealt cruel blow after cruel blow, and they just don't seem to stop.

Remember that truck the cops have been searching for since day one? The one that a father 14 miles away said tried to abduct his kids, seeming to take suspicion off the Gallagher family that they might somehow be involved in their daughter's death?

More from The Stir: 6-Year-Old Alanna Gallagher’s Murder Case Takes Astonishing Turn -- Police & Teen Suspect Shot!

Suddenly the attention is off the pickup and on to two cars, surveillance photos of which were released by police this weekend:

The cops have a $10,000 reward for information that leads to Alanna's killer, and that includes IDing these cars which may or may not have been involved or seen something that went on the day she disappeared.

Got that? May or may not.

Following Alanna's case is like a game of tennis with your head going back and forth, back and forth. Only it isn't a game. A little girl's life (and death) is on the line, and her family's future hangs in the balance.

Hopefully this new lead is the one that will finally end their nightmare.

Images via Saginaw Police

Andy Warhol said we're all due our 15 minutes of fame, but one Teen Mom 2 star is trying for a little bit more. Remember Vee Torres, girlfriend of Jo Rivera, aka the girl who made Kailyn Lowry so insanely mad she stomped off the stage during a reunion special with Dr. Drew? Looks like she's not satisfied playing a bit part on a reality show anymore. She's hitting the pageant circuit!

Oh, and she seems to be counting on her Teen Mom fame to help her along the way.

Vee, whose real name is Vetzabe Torres, has thrown her hat into the ring to be the next Miss New Jersey, a stepping stone to Miss America. The model who first met Kail's baby daddy when she starred in one of his music videos made her big announcement on GoFundMe, a crowdfunding website, where she's set a goal of $2,000.

That's right, she wants people to help pay her way to the pageant. And it looks like it might happen. She's already got Jo's parents on the hook for $100 each, and Jo is using his sizeable Twitter following as a reality star to get attention for her cause.

Being a reality star certainly won't hurt when it comes to getting funds.

But could the information that's come out on Teen Mom 2 end up hurting Vee in the long run? Kail made a very public stink over Vee's alleged drug use, particularly photos of her with a gas mask and a bong, and the possible bad influence she'd have over her little boy, Isaac.

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That's not exactly the kind of thing that screams "girl we want representing our state." Beauty queens have lost their crowns for less over the years.

Do you think her appearances on Teen Mom 2 will help Vee or hurt her in her quest to be a beauty queen?

Images via MTV; Go Fund Me

It's like a game of which of these things is not like the other: ordering extra long sheets for your kid's dorm bed, buying a mini fridge, hiring a hooker to take your son's virginity before he goes to Harvard, sign them up for their first credit card. OK, now which is it? Which of these things do you NOT plan to do before sending your kid off to college?

If you said option C, give yourself a hand. You're not the helicopter mom who posted a batpoop insane Craigslist ad in the "casual encounters" section recently, searching for her son's rapist first sexual conquest.

Discovered by Gawker, the ad, which appears to be legit, advertises for a 19- to 20-something sexually experienced hottie with zero morals (OK, I added that part) to "accidentally" run into the poster's 18-year-old son at a concert, then take him somewhere so they can get it on. After taking her son's virginity in exchange for mama buying her a car, this siren is asked to continue dating him just long enough to show him different sex positions before letting "him go gently so he'll have the confidence to date other girls once" he gets to Harvard.

Because Mom doesn't have confidence in her son figuring this whole thing out on his own?

Because it's so bad to have an abstinent kid?

I don't know about you, but I'd be dancing a jig if my 18-year-old had yet to "lose it." The longer they wait, the less time you have to worry about diseases, pregnancy, and broken hearts. The more time they have to figure out whether they're ready and to find the right person.

Parents who don't talk to their kids about sex at all are fools. Kids have sex. Eventually. Even "abstinent until marriage" teens still need to hear about it from their parents.

But there's a line between being that parent who is pro-active in protecting their kid and the parent who is making important decisions for their child.

If your kid wants to have sex at 18, fine, hopefully you've prepared them well. If your kid wants to go to college a virgin, be proud ... you prepared them well!

Of course, this is all assuming he still has his V-card. With a controlling mom like that, would you want to tell her when you lost it?

How do you feel about kids losing their virginity before college? Would you push for it?

Image via justiny8s/Flickr