I have always felt bad for celebrity kids like Suri Cruise, but some people will say that the benefits of being the daughter of Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise outweigh living in the public eye. If you're one of those folks, you might want to take a look at this video of Suri, Katie, and a bunch of paparazzi. The 7-year-old looks understandably upset that there are a bunch of photographers hounding her, and she's not shy about telling them to get out of the way. And that's when things take a turn for the crazy.

An angry paparazzo uses the b-word about Suri, and I don't mean brat (although he calls her that too). Yes, a grown man called a 7-year-old girl a b--ch.

You can go ahead and watch, but obviously be prepared for foul language:

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Ouch!

I'm glad the incident at least stopped some of the other men short (although hounding celebrity kids hardly makes them saints), but the fact that someone was this rude to a little girl is still disturbing. 

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Suri is a kid. I don't care that she's a famous kid. I don't care that she wasn't cooperating with the photographers (technically she has no reason to ... she's just trying to go about her day). You don't use that kind of language about kids to kids. 

Ever.

Whether you're mad at them because you're having a bad day (and taking it out at them) or mad at them because of something they actually did wrong, it behooves you to act like the adult and remember that they are just kids.

Sometimes that's easier said than done. My daughter is just a year older than Suri, and sometimes her behavior is maddening. If a 20-something did some of the things she's done, I might call her a b-word (I said might!).

But she's not a 20-something. She's 8. She's not a b-word. She's a kid. It's hard enough being a kid without adults putting adult problems and adult words on your shoulders.

They'll face the awful words we adults use for one another all too soon. Is it too much to ask that we give them a few more years without cursing at them?

Did this man cross the line? Was Suri being a b-word or just a kid?

Image via Fishwrapper

There isn't a lot of good news for the parents of Alanna Gallagher right now. Their 6-year-old daughter was murdered and left covered in a tarp in the middle of the street and now their polyamorous relationship is splashed all over the news, drawing judgment and criticism on top of the grief. But new news about a red pickup truck police have been looking for since Alanna's body was found represents a break in the case that is as close to good news as it can get for Carl and Laura Gallagher and Alanna's biological father, Miles McDaniel.

Police announced they were looking for a truck, red with a splotch of green paint, right around the time that Alanna was identified to the media. So far there's been no indication that it's turned up, at least not after her murder.

But a father from Fort Worth, Texas, about 14 miles from the Gallaghers' home in Saginaw, has come forward to say he saw a truck that fits that description. Andy Acuna claims the truck's driver approached his two young daughters about a month before Alanna's body was found and tried to lure them to him. Fortunately dad was watching, and he scared the truck driver off (although not before getting a plate number).

Good news for the Acuna girls.

But could this be good news for the Gallaghers and McDaniel?

A real lead? Solid evidence that someone out there has been approaching little girls?

It's depressing to think like this, but the truth is any evidence that points away from the family and onto someone else is good for them.

Police haven't said they are suspects, but they've also declined to rule out anyone in this case. Which means these three parents (technically Laura and Carl are married but McDaniel is Alanna's biological father and all three are in a relationship with one another) are living under a cloud of suspicion. If they didn't kill their daughter (and by no means am I accusing them), how much worse must that make grieving their child's death?

What do you make of this break in the case?

Image via Robert Couse-Baker/Flickr

There's good news out of western Texas this week. Rafael Acosta Rodriguez, the man on the run for nearly a month after allegedly raping a 12-year-old girl with autism, has finally been caught. Parents everywhere can feel a little safer, possibly for a long, long time to come. 

That's because Rodriguez could land himself in prison for as long as 99 years if he's convicted. That's essentially a life sentence.

Some will say it's too much. Ninety-nine years? It's not like he killed anyone.

But let's consider the charges here. Cops say a 12-year-old girl was raped. Her innocence was stolen. That's enough to make most of us think the perpetrator should burn in a very hot place for all eternity.

But on top of that, this girl has autism. We don't know where on the spectrum she falls, but we know she technically has a special need.

That means someone took advantage of a child with special needs.

Can we up the temperature a few hundred degrees on the aforementioned hot place?

Ah, but we can't. We can't guarantee anything after death. We can only look at what we do with pedophiles here on earth, how we punish them to give a child justice but also what that punishment means for society as a whole. 

We could give them lighter sentences -- Rodriguez could get as little as five years if convicted. But the recidivism rates of child molesters are no joke. Conventional wisdom tells us that people who have an urge to sexually molest children don't simply lose that urge because they go to prison. They're at a high risk of re-offending, and that means kids are always at risk.

Ninety-nine years might seem like a lot for someone who hasn't killed anyone. But a little girl's childhood was killed and who knows how many more could suffer.

Ninety-nine years for a pedophile sounds about right to me.

How about you?

What kind of punishment do you think fits this crime?

Image via police

Teen Mom fans, we've got good news and bad news. How about we start with the bad? This was supposed to be the weekend of Tyler Baltierra and Catelynn Lowell's wedding ... and it looks like it ain't happening. But have no fear! Kailyn Lowry has stepped in to cheer us all up!

Kail officially confirmed she's getting married this fall. Heck, she even shared her wedding date with the whole dang world!

Kail posted a countdown to her wedding on her website this week. The post went up on July 11, and it states there are 71 days left. Don't bother doing the math. Kailyn listed September 21, 2013 right at the top of the post.

Interestingly, that is the date that was "leaked" months ago when Kail posted a photo of her save-the-dates on Twitter. That was before she and husband (remember, this is a wedding, but they already got hitched at the courthouse) Javi Marroquincalled it all off in March, stating financial problems.

Rumor had it the financial problems were bogus, that Kail was really pulling the plug so she could fake out fans and the paparazzi who were sure to show up after the date got leaked.

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Doesn't look like those rumors were true now, does it? She's put it all out there ... risking said fans and photographers becoming wedding crashers.

It's brave.

Possibly even a little stupid. (Has she seen what the paparazzi put little Suri Cruise through this week? Imagine that on your wedding day!)

But when you're planning your wedding, you get excited. It's hard not to share that excitement with everyone. And if the rumors about Teen Mom 2 shooting again are true, she'll likely have the folks from MTV on hand to help lock things down and keep a "closed set."

Hopefully people will respect this couple's privacy enough to send their best wishes from afar.

What do you think of Kailyn's very public announcement? Should she expect people to crash?

Image via Instagram

Oh boy, here we go again. A teenage girl has come out with a scathing indictment of the "selfie" trend that's sure to send parents everywhere into a tither and reaching for their kids' smartphones to "save them" from themselves. Allow me to save yourself the heart attack, y'all.

A selfie, in case you have thus far been living a life blissfully duckface-free, is pretty much what it sounds like. It's a photo taken of one's self (so clever, I know). Australian teenager Olympia Nelson is getting a lot of attention right now for exposing the "dark undercurrents" of said self-focused photos.

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Nelson claims that Facebook and Instagram have turned our kids' lives into a "sexual rat race," and I'll agree with at least some of what she says. It's sad that even in 2013, kids are still looking outside for approval of their bodies rather than being able to find a comfort within themselves.

But couple her viral essay with warnings to parents that social media is turning our kids into little narcissists, and there's practically a loud siren screaming at parents to confiscate the cameraphones and save kids from destroying their lives.

Only let's step back for a second. Is this trend of kids taking photos of themselves and their friends really anything new?

Sure, it's much easier (and cheaper) to take photos with digital cameras and phones than ever before. It's much easier (and again cheaper) to share them with friends thanks to Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, etc.

But as long as there have been cheap cameras, teenagers have been taking photos of themselves and their friends. Watch any teen flick from the '80s or '90s, and you'll notice no bedroom wall or mirror was complete without a collage of photos of themselves and their buddies.

When I was a kid back in the dark ages (but we had cameras!), it was social suicide if you didn't get your mom to order at least a pile of wallet photos at picture time so you could trade them with your friends. Long before Facebook likes, you could tell how popular a kid was by how many lockers her (or his) photo hung in around the school.

And you better believe we were being rated. Guys (and girls) pawed through the yearbook, judging the photos on each page.

I'm not going to say you shouldn't talk to your kids about self-esteem and help them find comfort in their own skin. Every parent needs to do that. 

But we need to stop turning everything our kids do into an "issue," stop finding things to be worried about.

Our kids aren't growing up worse than we did; they're just growing up different.

Do you feel like kids taking photos of themselves and their friends today are really in emotional danger? Is it really so different from our childhoods?

Image via sheshakes/Flickr

Tough question, Mom. If someone took a photo of your baby and put it on Facebook, what would you do? Immediately give it a "like" and tag yourself? Ask the photographer to take it down and gently chide them on asking permission first? Or would you ban anyone and everyone from taking photos of your child?

That's what a mom on Reddit is considering -- a ban on anyone, even family and friends, taking photos of her baby. The way she tells it, she wants to wait until her child is old enough to give permission before she creates an online presence for her, especially because her kiddo has a very unique name.

Noble as the goal may be, she's animal crackers if she thinks a ban on baby photos is going to fix anything.

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It's 2013! Cameras are everywhere! Your kid might end up on Facebook because she was on the swing beside someone else's kid at the park. Your kid might end up on a blog post because she was one car over on the rollercoaster from someone else's family.

Oh, and that name? It's going to get out there too. It's not a state secret. The preschool will post an honor roll on its website, and bingo! There it is! The dance center will post photos -- with captions -- of the itty bitty ballerinas on its Facebook page.

The question isn't whether you can (or should) control your child's name and photo getting out there. You can't. Sorry, but you just can't.

The question is what you're so afraid of. Yes, the world wide web is a big place, and we need to be security conscious. Sure, we need to be careful with how much information about our kids we share, lest someone out there be a little TOO interested (if you know what I mean). We should also teach our kids -- once they're old enough to actually get online -- that people may judge them by what they sign their name to.

But let's be realistic about postings about babies online.

In the long run, they're largely meaningless.

Your baby also won't have her life ruined because a boss comes across a photo of her in a ruffled onesie sucking on a pacifier 30 years down the line. And if your grownup child is a little peeved because she found a photo of herself wearing a Cabbage Patch wig, that's on you for buying into a ridiculous trend ... it has nothing to do with the photographer.

So go ahead, ban your family and friends from taking photos of your baby all you want. It's not going to do much for your baby, but it will drive the people close to you absolutely insane.

Do you think you should have the right to say "no pictures" of your baby? Or is this over the top?

Image via laihiu/Flickr

A dad has been charged with homicide in Montana, just days after his 3-year-old was found dead. Police started looking for Jeremy Cramer after his wife called to report he wasn't answering his phone. But she didn't see any reason to call out an Amber Alert for the couple's son, Broderick Cramer.

At the time, police said, she didn't think the child would be in any danger. Why would he be? He was with his dad.

What happened to the little boy reads like an unfortunate reminder that sometimes the monsters we most fear aren't the ones out there, nameless, the ones we lock our doors at night to keep out. Sometimes the monsters are the people we see every day, the people we love.

According to police reports, Cramer and his wife were arguing the day he drove off with his 3-year-old son. He drove off from their Washington home with the boy and ended up in Montana where a convenience store clerk reported seeing a man cleaning blood off of himself in the store restroom.

Broderick's body was found a day after that convenience store clerk called police. He'd been murdered, and police say his dad is the one who did it.

Would an Amber Alert have saved this child? Who knows. The fact is, there's so little about this sort of crime that makes sense, so little that anyone could second guess.

We aren't supposed to expect the worst of the people we love. We aren't supposed to imagine that a father would kill his child.

We're supposed to fear strangers. We're supposed to reserve our worries for the outside.

But when the darkness comes inward, the tragedy is that much harder to bear.

Image via police

I love when my daughter has playdates at our house. She has fun. I get to take a break from being her main source of entertainment. And there's none of the stress over whether she's behaving at someone else's house. There is, however, one big problem with hosting playdates: the behavior of the other kids!

The key to a bad playdate is a monster kid, and if they do anything on this list, they're not going to be invited back:

1. Eating out of my fridge without asking. I always make sure I have plenty of snacks on hand when there are kids over, and chances are you COULD have that yogurt or popsicle. But I might have been saving it for something special (you know, like my lunch). All you had to do was ask.

2. Being mean to my dog. This is HER house, and she deserves to be safe here (that's why I rescued her in the first place!).

3. Leaving dirty socks in the middle of my living room floor. We're a barefoot family, and whipping your socks off to run outside is pretty common. But trust me, smelling my own kid's stinky ones is enough for me. It may not be a dealbreaker, but it's not exactly endearing.

4. Treating my furniture like a jungle gym. I give the really little ones a pass (my friend's 4-year-old is still a bit of a climber, and she is also very good about lecturing him about not climbing my furniture). But if you're 8 years old, you're old enough to know better than to stand on the back of my couch or throw yourself into my dining room chairs.

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5. Ignoring me when I talk to you. I don't care how shy you are. When you are in my house, and I ask you whether you want a PB&J or a ham sandwich, you answer me! 

6. Encouraging my daughter to be naughty. My kid is not an angel. I know she'll get up to hijinx all by herself, but when I can hear you in her bedroom trying to convince her to disobey me, you are reminding me to lose your phone number.

7. Wasting food. If you don't like the way I make mac and cheese, that's fine. But don't go for seconds when you didn't even finish your first helping ... and then leave it all on the plate.

8. Not taking "no" for an answer. I'm a pretty easygoing mom, and when my daughter has a friend over, I don't hover. When I say "no," I have a very good reason. If you can't listen to my rules, I can't guarantee to your mom that you'll be safe at my house.

9. Being mean to my kid. I expect her to be nice to you, and I will discipline her if she isn't. I expect the same from you.

10. Demanding electronics. You're here to play with my kid, not use our XBox or watch TV. Get your butt outside!

What's the worst thing a child has done during a playdate at your house? Did you ban them from your house? 

Images by Jeanne Sager

A photo that popped up on Jenelle Evans' Twitter feed this weekend is exactly what Teen Mom 2 fans have been waiting for. Well, almost. We'd really like to hear from MTV that the popular reality show is continuing.

But with the network remaining quiet on the future for Jenelle, Leah, Chelsea, and Kailyn, the photo of Jace will have to stand in as proof positive that season 5 is coming!

Jenelle's little boy is getting a mic pack on his back in the picture, which the Teen Mom posted with the words: "Who's a big boy nowwwww?!!!" Check it out:

Come on! Why else would Jace get mic'd up other than for filming his mom's reality show? I don't need to connect the rather large dots here, y'all.

The question is, why hasn't MTV?

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The evidence that the show will go on continues to mount, from Jenelle's admission that she had backed out of a plan to buy a particular house because the homeowners' association wouldn't allow cameras on the premises to Leah Messer Calvert's husband's announcement that an MTV crew was slated to go into a furniture store to film.

We know it's happening.

So why does MTV leave us hanging?

After some of Jenelle's stunts earlier in the year, including that arrest for heroin, there may be some trouble lining up advertisers. There's also the news that the first season of Teen Mom 3 will air very soon. A Teen Mom 2 announcement might overshadow that, undoing the work the network has put in to make the new series distinct.

Or maybe it's this: every bit of evidence that the show is coming back is being met with excitement ... and the network is counting on that. The longer they don't confirm, the more buzz they can generate with the "leaks" from the girls.

What do you think? Is MTV hedging its bets here or counting on fans to come back when season 5 airs?

Images via MTV; Twitter

The weekend is over, but it's still hard to shake the shock of hearing thatCory Monteith was found dead in a hotel room in Vancouver, Canada. An autopsy for the Glee star will determine the exact cause of death, but it's hard to believe that anything will truly explain why such a promising young star was taken from us at just 31 years old.

Cory came out of near obscurity when he arrived on Glee, but he quickly became a favorite, in no small part because of who he was beneath the surface of his character, Finn Hudson. We mourn Cory today by remembering what we loved most about him:

1. His candid talk about his drug use. Many artists struggle with addiction, but Cory's decision to talk about it openly was inspiring to many who saw him as proof that we are more than just the demons we battle.

2. His lopsided smile.

3. His love of Lea Michele. Watching those two in public, it was hard not to see them as carbon copies of Finn and Rachel. He seemed just as in love and just as supportive as his on-screen alter ego was of her on-screen alter ego. Remember when he told Ellen they were a couple?

See this video on The Stir by CafeMom.

4. His dancing. Cory can sing like an angel, but like Finn Hudson, he had two left feet. Two adorable left feet.

5. His dedication to LGBT causes. Cory was a straight ally to the fight for equality, hosting the GLAAD Media Awards, working with the Trevor Project, and filming PSAs like this one to inspire gay teens:

See this video on The Stir by CafeMom.

6. His drumming. We only got a small taste of his skills on Glee, but Cory performed with the band, Bonnie Dune, off set and he really let go on stage. One video of him rocking out is titled "Cory Monteith's drumming sexual [sic] frustrates me" because he was just THAT good.

7. His work with homeless youth. Cory came close to homelessness as a teen, and he never forgot where he came from. Since becoming a star, he has dedicated himself to helping homeless youth, even partnering with Richard Branson to raise money to keep these kids off the streets.

8. His Project Limelight. Cory has spoken in the past about acting changing his life, and he threw himself into changing lives for kids, helping to start the non-profit Project Limelight to provide a free theater program for children.

9. His humility. Cory was known for being down-to-earth, not a star who got too big for his britches when he became famous. Robert Ullrich, the Glee casting director, called him the show's "most accessible" actor when Cory stopped by an episode of The Glee Project last summer to mentor the kids trying out to be his new co-star.

10. His voice. Let's face it; we would never have known Cory if it weren't for the voice that won him the role of Finn on Glee, and what a voice it was. When he sang, Cory took the boy next door quality of Finn Hudson and made him the boy you couldn't take your eyes off.

See this video on The Stir by CafeMom.

Glee will not be the same without Cory. Our hearts go out to the entire Glee cast today, but especially Lea Michele.

What made you fall in love with Cory Monteith?

Image via Fox

When politicians are stuck trying to legislate good parenting, it always makes me heartsick. A proposal to force teen moms to live with their parents is no different.

Shouldn't that be a given? If your kid gets pregnant, they don't stop being your kid!

The proposal comes out of Britain, where a group of MPs (Members of Parliament) are concerned that public funds given to teen moms are actually encouraging teen pregnancy. Essentially they say teens get pregnant because they want to move out, and those monies enable them to do it.

It's a fair point.

But what kind of parent lets their pregnant teenager move out of the house? What kind of parent doesn't want their kid to be home at one of the most difficult times of their lives?

I don't want to think of my daughter ever ending up pregnant as a teenager. It's why I believe in talking about birth control with your kids (as well as encouraging they wait a good long time to have sex ... yes, abstinence SHOULD still be encouraged, but we have to be realistic).

But let's say it happens.

It could. Unfortunately.

There is no set "type" of girl who ends up pregnant as a teenager. The girl who had a bun in the oven in the class behind me was from a so-called "good" family. She was highly intelligent and motivated. Still, she got pregnant.

The truth is, every parent of a daughter needs to consider what they would do if their child got pregnant. Would you throw them out? Would you want them to stay home so you could help them with the baby?

Consider this: Right here in America, 67 percent of teen mothers who moved out of their own families’ household live below the poverty level. At least 63 percent of teen mothers receive some type of public benefits within the first year after their children were born, and less than one quarter receive any sort of child support from their child's father.

Teen moms who move out don't tend to do well.

Teen moms who have supportive parents, on the other hand, tend to have better outcomes, as do their children. Just look at Teen Mom 2 star Chelsea Houska. Her father in particular has received criticism for coddling his daughter, but Houska is one of the few stars of the show to have a clean track record when it comes to tabloid scandals. And her daughter, little Aubree, is obviously well cared for and seems to be on track development-wise. She's well-spoken and smart as a whip. 

That's significant when you consider the statistics from the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy show "children born to mothers younger than 18 years old score significantly worse on measures of school readiness including math and reading tests."

Parenting a teen parent is depressing. It's disheartening. It can make you feel like you failed as a mom or dad.

But these things happen. The true test of a good parent is how you handle it. Do you turn your kid out or do you continue to be THEIR parent in their time of crisis?

For the good of our kids and their kids, teen parents should be living at home. No ifs, ands, or buts about it.

Do you think parents should be required to keep their kids at home when they become teen parents?

Image via MTV

There's finally news about the family of Ayla Reynolds, the toddler who went missing in Maine in December 2011. But it's not good news. The little girl's father, Justin DiPietro, has been arrested on domestic assault charges.

DiPietro, for those who haven't followed the case, was the last person to see Ayla alive. The little girl was staying at her father's home in Waterville, Maine, the night she disappeared, and he's lived under a cloud of suspicion ever since, fueled in no small part by statements that he wasn't very cooperative with police during the investigation.

DiPietro's latest trouble seems to be unrelated to the disappearance of his child. A police officer arrested the 26-year-old after reportedly seeing him grab and push a woman on the street. Although the woman, reportedly an ex-girlfriend, was not injured, DiPietro was placed under arrest and charged with domestic violence assault.

He's now out on bail, but the media spotlight is back on him, and with it comes questions about his daughter's disappearance. 

Could Justin DiPietro have been involved? Does he know what happened to Ayla?

It's not the first time people have made these allegations. His ex-girlfriend (and Ayla's mother) Trista Reynolds has made allegations that DiPietro wasn't being completely honest about what happened in the last few days of Ayla's life before her disappearance. And police have questioned DiPietro's claim that Ayla had a cast on her arm because he accidentally fell with her while carrying groceries. Not to mention blood was found in DiPietro's home.

None of that was good for the father of the missing girl, and neither is his current circumstance.

Although it may be a leap to tie this arrest to Ayla's disappearance -- they appear unrelated on the outside -- there are some certain commonalities that can't be ignored. An assault charge points to a predilection for violence and a hot temper.

Blood? A missing child? They point to violence and the possibility that someone with enough anger to hurt a child did something to Ayla.

Of course, it could just be a coincidence. He could just be a concerned dad who has had a rough go of it over the last few years who is now wrapped up in something entirely different.

Perhaps the real question now is whether this arrest will stir up enough renewed interest in the case to help police get to the bottom of Ayla's disappearance. 

What have you thought of Justin DiPietro's actions since his daughter went missing?

Image via Cumberland County Jail

I think I may have repeated the phrase "stop moving" at least 27 times while painting my daughter's toenails this past weekend. She's 8 years old, and she's a wiggleworm. It would be easier to put nail polish on a baby.

Trust me; I know what I'm talking about. I put nail polish on my baby girl a few times when she was itty bitty.

Somehow this seems to shock people. Maybe because I'm one of those moms who didn't get her baby's ears pierced? That's a pretty classic beauty move for parents. It's certainly more classic than polishing a baby's toe nails.

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In fact, putting polish on a baby's tootsies is a surprisingly controversial topics among moms.

Some moms find it garish and inappropriate. These are typically the moms who think any sort of beauty regime should be held off until the teen years (and the later ones at that).

I disagree wholeheartedly. Nail polish is not going to turn a baby into a harlot when she is actually old enough to learn what the word means. It's just a splash of color! It's temporary! 

And of course, it's adorable. Maybe that's a wee bit vain, but we can all use a little bit of pretty in our lives.

Nor do I really put stock in the idea that it's spoiling kids. If you're taking them in for professional salon pedicures, you are wandering into helicopter territory, but a mom slapping a dash of polish on a piggy is not going for the salon treatment.

Then there are the moms who say it's unsafe.

That's a concern that holds a bit more weight. Babies put everything in their mouths, even their toes (once they can!), and you don't want your baby swallowing something toxic. If you're using most drugstore polishes on a baby's toes, they could be ingesting something pretty awful. 

But this is where today's moms are lucky. The push toward organic and "natural" beauty items has opened up a world of safe alternatives for parents who love colored piggy toes on their babes.

You can check out the Environmental Working Group's Skin Deep guide to safe cosmetics to find products that are pretty safe for your infant. There's even safe nail polish remover these days (I swear by the Piggy Paint remover that is acetone-free and doesn't have that awful chemical smell of the stuff I grew up using).

So what are you waiting for?

Grab your polish and start painting. Maybe if you start early enough, they'll be better at holding still by 8 years old than my wiggleworm.

Would you put nail polish on a newborn?

Image via Hey Danielle/Flickr

It's been a year since a Florida mom named Marissa Alexander was sent to prison for 20 years for shooting a wall, but thanks to the George Zimmerman verdict, the mother of three is all over the news again. She didn't shoot anyone. In fact, she told police she was simply firing a warning shot to scare her abusive ex-husband.

She tried to use the same "stand your ground" defense that Zimmerman's attorney successfully used to gain acquittal. But for Alexander, it didn't work. She was sentenced to two decades in jail.

For not killing a soul!

If this sounds unjust, allow me to continue.

Prosecutors had offered Alexander just three years in prison if she'd pleaded guilty. She opted to hedge her bets and go to trial, hoping a jury would believe her side of the story, that her ex-husband was abusive, that she'd fired off a shot with her gun (for which she has a concealed weapons permit) to warn him, that she never intended to hurt anyone.

The prosecutor pursued 20 years in part because Florida has what's known as the 10-20-life law. Someone who pulls a gun during a crime gets a mandated 10 years in prison. For firing the gun during a crime, the mandated sentence is 20 years.

The prosecutor also hammered home that two of Alexander's kids were in the next room when Alexander fired. They could have been hit, according to the prosecution.

But they weren't.

And she could have gotten just three years. Instead she's spending 20 years in jail for a "could have happened."

I don't envy judges who have to hand down sentences only to have people like me Monday morning quarterback their decisions.

But then, people like me wouldn't be questioning their decisions if they weren't all over the map.

Here's a woman who admits firing a gun but who hurt no one and gets 20 years in prison. And yet last year someone was convicted of manslaughter in Oklahoma for an accident when they were drunk ... and their sentence is a requirement to attend church services.

Anyone seeing the problem here?

You cause someone's death and you walk free, save for some time on your knees on Sunday morning. You shoot a wall, and it's 20 years behind bars?

We can (and should) talk about the racial implications here -- Alexander is black -- and there certainly ARE racial implications here. There's a reason Alexander's case has been hauled out for re-examination in the wake of the shocking Zimmerman verdict.

But it isn't just about race.

It's also about sentencing laws in America and the way they are interpreted. 

It's about common sense.

Because there's nothing about 20 years for shooting a wall that makes sense.

What do you think of this mom's sentence? Is it just right or too much?

Image via police

The death of our dishwasher also marked the death of a summer vacation for my family. We won't be going anywhere this summer because we just can't afford it. At least, my husband and I won't be going anywhere. We're sending our child on her own vacation.

It's something we've talked about doing a few times over the years but somehow never got off the ground. But now that she's 8 years old, we've decided it's time.

In a few weeks, she'll pack her bags and we'll pack the car, and she'll be off for a full week with my aunt (her great-aunt) and uncle and my two young cousins. They're so young that although they're my first cousins, they are actually very close to my daughter's age (one is less than a year older than her), but because of distance, they don't get to spend much time together.

This vacation for my daughter will fix that, will help bridge the gap that we generally have to mend with phone calls and online gaming. She can't wait. She's already got plans of games they'll play and toys she will bring.

For her, it's an adventure, the first of its kind. She's never been away from us for much more than a night or two, and even then it was just 20 minutes away at a friend's house or her grandparents'.

This will be the first time she's totally Mom and Dad-free for an extended period of time, far enough away that a call home won't (can't) bring us running. We will both be working that week, unable to drop everything and run if she gets a little homesick. It's one of the reasons we've waited so long, and why we're still uneasy about sending her to stay with grandparents who live nearly a day's drive away.

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But it had to happen.

As Michael Thompson, a clinical psychologist, opined in the New York Times this weekend, "As a parent there are many things you cannot do for you children."

Thompson was criticizing parents who refuse to send their kids away to sleepaway camps (not the ones who can't afford it but parents who just won't cut the apron strings) because he sees them impeding their kids' growth. As he said:

You cannot give your child confidence, you cannot pick or manage his or her friendships, you cannot always be his or her advocate/agent/manager/coach. Most parents cannot get their children to turn off electronics, especially in the summer, and most important, parents have a hard time urging their children to take psychological risks.

These are all reasons we're sending our daughter to Camp Aunt C. this summer. She needs to spend time with her cousins without us hovering, to learn to listen to another adult's rules, to live life the way another family lives for more than just one night.

A vacation away from Mom and Dad will be good for her emotionally. It will help her grow.

And I won't lie: after a month of summer vacation as a work-at-home mom with a kid constantly underfoot (even with babysitters trying to keep her occupied), I'm looking forward to it. As a number of parents admitted on Today Moms this week, vacationing without the kids is good for them!

Would you be able to send your child on a vacation without you?

Image by Jeanne Sager

Poor Jake Pavelka! It seems no one has been paying attention to the former Bachelor star lately, so he had to stir up a scandal by picking on someone else. Pavelka's target? Teen Mom.

Pavelka, who has starred on five -- count 'em, FIVE -- reality shows over the years has pulled out the tired old "glamorizing teen pregnancy" line about the MTV reality show in an interview with Radar that amounted to nothing other than his griping about the teen stars:

It is not cool and that is what that show does is it makes it seem like it’s cool to go get pregnant in high school out of wedlock.

Um, Jake, you know what's not cool?

Telling the world that the answer to true love is to have a TV network find 25 women so desperate for attention that they'll sign up to be dicked around by you on national television. Even crappier? Breaking up with your supposed true love (Vienna Girardi), thereby proving that the show you were on was a load of bull pucky, and then jumping on ANOTHER reality show (cough, Bachelor Pad, cough, cough) to find the woman who will make your heart go pitter pat.

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Still want to throw stones, Jake? Cause this house is made of glass!

I'll be the first to say the Teen Mom series is imperfect. The fallout from Amber Portwood's explosive scenes on camera, in particular, is proof that MTV does not have it all figured out with this documentary series.

But most teens I've talked to who have watched Teen Mom have said it's a sobering look at what happens when you end up a teenage parent. It is not glamorous. It's pretty awful.

In fact, Pavelka is half right. Being a teen mother is NOT cool.

Fortunately, anyone who actually watches Teen Mom (rather than simply reading the tabloid stories) can see that pretty readily.

Anyone who watches The Bachelor or Bachelor Pad, on the other hand, is being fed a load of romantic BS that will help ... who exactly? Little girls who still believe in fairy tales? Little boys who still think it's OK to objectify women?

Sorry, but I'll take the harsh reality of what it means to face the abrupt end of childhood when you get pregnant any day over that claptrap.

Do you think Jake Pavelka is right or is he a hypocrite?

Image via ABC

The world is still reeling from the sudden death of Cory Monteith at just 31. But with his hit show, Glee, scheduled to start filming next week, the folks at Fox are already debating the big questions: what happens to Cory's character, Finn Hudson, in season 5?

What will Glee look like without Cory Monteith? For that matter, will the Glee premiere in September even happen?

Already that last question is looking doubtful.

The cast had already shot photos to promote the upcoming season -- including the set at right that Lea Michele posted on her Instagram account -- but actual filming, as I mentioned, wasn't set to start until next week.

Glee was set to premiere on September 19, in time to whet Gleeks' appetites for action at McKinley before Fox switches to baseball programming in primetime for the World Series. But that requires filming, and with the cast reeling, especially Cory's girlfriend, Lea Michele, forcing them to get onstage and act would be downright cruel.

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Not only that, several of the episodes were reportedly already written ... written, we'd imagine, with Finn in them. They'll all have to be re-written before anyone can walk into the choir room and start singing.

That means delaying filming. And that could delay the Glee fall premiere until November, according to reports.

And what will the premiere be?

So far, the network is mum. But this Gleek hopes the writers will be sensitive, especially to the feelings of Lea Michele, who is already facing the loss of her love in real life. Doing anything drastic with Finn on-screen means making her re-live that pain with a camera catching her every movement.

True, she's a professional, but she's still a human being. And the writers can make this a little easier on her and the rest of Cory's friends.

The fact is, they don't have tokill Finn off as other shows have done when their stars died off-screen. They have a storyline already in the works to write him off kindly -- just send him to college to pursue his teaching degree so he can take over for Mr. Schue one of these days.

Done.

It means we don't forget that Cory existed, but we don't have to see Finn killed off either, and Lea won't have to face another man as Rachel's love interest.

Of course, it won't be easy to tug at our heartstrings without the Finchel storyline front and center, but that's really out of everyone's hands at this point.

Gleeks, what do you want the show to do with Cory's character?

Image via Instagram

There is devastating news to report in the search for missing 6-year-old Ahlittia North. The body of the Louisiana girl who went missing from her bedroom over the weekend along with her toothbrush, toothpaste, and comforter has been found. According to police, she was dumped in a trash bin not far from her parents' apartment.

It's not what anyone hoped would come of this case, and frankly, there WAS reason to have hope that little Ahlittia would make it home.

Granted, no abduction is a good abduction. But the kidnapper who took Ahlittia from mom Lisa North and stepfather Albert Hill's home sometime after they put her to bed on Friday night cared enough to take her creature comforts. Despite the evil of stealing a child from her parents, the perpetrator showed an unexpected amount of compassion for the little girl.

He (or she) wanted her to be comfortable. That, right there, points to the idea that Ahlittia would be well cared for.

At least ... we hoped.

The discovery of the little girl's body is devastating, and now police say they're looking for her step-cousin, a 20-year-old sex offender named Matthew Flugence, as a person of interest in the case. Flugence is Hill's nephew and he's wanted for the alleged sexual battery of an 11-year-old earlier this spring.

He is ONLY a person of interest right now; cops just say they want to talk to him -- not arrest him. But his relation to the family would explain how he gained access to the home and managed to get the little girl out while her parents slept, maybe even why he thought to bring her personal items out during the abduction.

It would answer a lot of questions. And yet, if Flugence is the perpetrator, it will only make this case harder to bear for this family.

Our hearts go out to them.

What do you make of the kidnapper taking the girl's stuff? Do you think he originally planned to bring her home? 

Image via Jefferson Parish Sheriff's Office

The royal baby and mama Kate Middleton have already been immortalized on canvas! Spanish artist Kaya Mar dropped off his rather bizarre masterpiece at St. Mary's Hospital's Lindo Wing, where the future prince or princess is expected to be born.

Ah, but I know what you're thinking. How do you paint the portrait of a baby who isn't even here yet?

For Mar, that was pretty simple. He made Kate into a breastfeeding Madonna, complete with a giant halo around her head. Either he missed the whole debacle over whether or not the Duchess will breastfeed or he didn't care. I'm leaning toward option number two. 

Mar is just trying to get attention, and, well, he succeeded with one of the strangest baby portraits I think I've ever seen. Just look at it!

Come on Moms, is this what you'd want to gaze at to remember your time with baby?

What about the baby's, ahem, face? Breastfeeding is beautiful, but that's what a photograph is for. For an official portrait, you want to see what they look like!

Of course, that's not the only problem with this particular picture of the Duchess and her munchkin. The crown on the royal baby's head makes this look less like a sweet scene between mother and baby and more clownish. And Kate's troll body would surely crumble on those stick legs.

The best part of this portrait is the dog! He's rather adorable.

Maybe Mar should stick to pet pictures from now on?

Hopefully Kate and Wills get a REAL portrait done once the baby arrives ... one they wouldn't mind hanging in Windsor Castle.

What do you think of the first royal portrait of the royal baby?

Image via Pacific Coast News

I was a teenager when I first met a woman I would come to call Mom. Technically, she wasn't my mother. She had no biological kids of her own, and we weren't even related. But she was the kind of woman I could turn to for common sense advice on the tough stuff that comes with being a teenager: boys, college, my (real) parents.

Women like her are a godsend for struggling teenagers. They're also the nightmare of mothers everywhere, mothers who see another woman being called "Mom" and feel threatened that they're losing THEIR rightful place as their child's one and only mother.

Now that I'm a mom, I can sympathize. Being my daughter's mother is something special, something I don't have to share with anyone.

And yet, if my teenage daughter finds another "Mom," I'd like to think I'd be OK with it.

Remember what it was like to be a teenager, when you didn't feel comfortable talking to your parents about everything? Sometimes you need someone else to bounce ideas off of or someone to comfort you. Sometimes you need to feel listened to, not judged.

That's where an extra "Mom" comes in, an extra adult who cares about our kids.

They're better, in many ways, than a child's friends because they offer the benefit of experience and aged wisdom, things well-meaning teenagers don't have when they dole out advice. They tend to know a little bit about the world and have the sense to report to you when there are real problems that require parental attention.

As much as an extra Mom is a stand-in, she's also an extra set of eyes and ears.

She's someone your kid will talk to when she really needs to talk.

I called Deb "Mom" not to piss off my own mother but because I felt like she looked out for me, like she truly cared for me, and I wanted to show her that I loved her. As it turned out, I made a good choice. We transitioned to adult friends and remained that way for years, right up until her sudden death a few years ago, and during that time, she counseled me through many a rough time. She was the woman who made a quilt for my baby daughter (that she still sleeps under at bedtime) and watched my dog when I went on vacation.

She wasn't my mother in any biological sense of the word, but she was a woman who was special to me (still is special to me).

I want my daughter to have that, to have an adult in her life who she can count on in addition to my husband and me -- not instead of. I don't feel threatened by that, by more love for my kid.

I don't need to. I'm still her mother. No one can take that away from me.

As my friend Eve Vawter said over at Mommyish, when explaining she would have no problem with her kids calling a stepmother Mom, "I am their mom, I have the stretch marks to prove it, and I will always be their mom, but as far as I’m concerned, the more humans my kids have in their lives who they are close to and have good relationships, the better."

Got that? More love = good for my kid.

What do you think? Would you be hurt if your teen called someone else "Mom"?

Image via edenpictures/Flickr