There are certain things you can expect of your husband after you give birth. And then there's the request ... wait, scratch that ... demand Kim Zolciak had of husband Kroy Biermann right after giving birth to their twins. Kim decided she was going to suck down a placenta smoothie, and so was her husband.

Zolciak gave birth way back in December, but her maternity ward antics just popped up on the premiere of Don't Be Tardy, The Real Housewives of Atlanta star's new reality show. Now, a woman who just spent nine months toting two babies around in her tummy deserves a few diva moments, but this was a little over-the-top.

Kim didn't just ask Kroy if he'd try some placenta smoothie. She bullied him into it:

Don’t f**ckin’ back out on me, I just pushed out two of your children and one of them breach and my p*ssy’s tore to hell because of it. You are drinking the f**king smoothie Kroy.

Jeez Louise, lady!

Should a husband support your desire to eat your placenta? Sure. There may be some health benefits, and besides, it's your body ... your choice.

A new dad should also be shouldering at least half -- if not more -- of the parenting duties while a new mom is in recovery. Birth does a number on the body, and moms don't just want help; they need it.

That said, a lot of women make the mistake of treating their partners like crap after delivery, using the same excuse Kim did to make Kroy drink placenta -- essentially, I hurt, and it's all his fault. But ladies, it behooves you to remember it takes two to tango. You got you pregnant too.

More from The Stir: Placenta Traditions From Around the World

And supposedly you're in this position because you love each other. So how about treating him like a human being and the type of guy you'd want fathering your kids? He shouldn't be forced to do things he just isn't comfortable with doing, especially something as personal as ingesting a placenta!

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What kind of demands did you have for your partner after birth? 

Image via Bravo

If you've got a summer baby, welcome to the club! There are more babies born in the summer in America than any other season.

It's certainly not a bad time to give birth -- less fears of germs getting your baby sick and plenty of sunshiney days for backyard birthday parties when they're older. But what does having a baby in summertime mean for your child as they grow up?

Turns out the season when you were born can have a real effect on everything from your health to your personality! Check out what the scientists have found out about summer babies:

1. They're destined for mediocrity. Think your little Cancer or Leo is bound for the stars? Well, think again. When researchers from the University of British Columbia looked at the birth dates of the CEOs of some 375 S&P 500 companies, they found a shocking disparity. Turns out only 6.1 percent were born in June and 5.9 percent were born in July.

2. They're klutzier. Well, your little Junebug is, anyway. A report in the Journal of Sports Medicine shares findings that children born in the fall are better athletes than their peers, but especially better than babies born in April, May, and June.

3. They're less depressed. Sunshine really does equal a sunny, happy disposition, at least according to a study published in the journal Nature Neuroscience. Scientists at Vanderbilt University looked at mice to determine that summer light cycles tended to reduce the risk of seasonal affective disorder (winter depression), bipolar depression, and schizophrenia for summer-borns and heighten it for winter-borns.

More From The Stir: 10 Surprising Facts About Babies Born During the Winter

4. They're more likely to be dyslexic. According to a study published by the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry in 1993, early summer birth accounts for as much as 71 percent of cases of dyslexia.

5. They weigh less at birth. Not necessarily a bad thing! But big birth weight comes if you conceive -- rather than give birth -- during summer. Or so say Economists Janet Currie and Hannes Schwandt of Princeton University who looked at birth data for seasonal patterns. According to their research, moms who got pregnant any time between June and August gained more weight during their pregnancies and gave birth to infants who were, on average, about eight grams heavier than those born in other months.

6. They're smarter -- if they're female. When a neuroscientist at Columbia University Medical Center looked at the gray matter in the brains of winter-borns and summer-borns, he found that men born in June had less than their December counterparts. The women were the opposite! Summer-born women had more! Pair that with science that says thicker gray matter makes one smarter, and there you have it!

7. They're wild. Is your summer baby on the naughty side? Don't blame them! Blame their birthday! When researchers at Australia's Queensland University of Technology matched the birth months of nearly 5,000 kids ages 4 and 5 with their results from a behavioral screening questionnaire, they found the summer babies had a harder time with consideration of others, sharing, temperament, fidgeting, concentration, and ability to make friends. (Note: Because this study comes from Australia, summer birth is defined as November to January, while winter is May to July.) Their guess is that moms who give birth in summer miss peak sunshine during their pregnancy, and the lack of vitamin D actually affects baby's temperament. 

8. They're at a (slightly) higher risk for celiac disease. You can blame all the talk about gluten intolerance on summer-borns, according to scientists out of Sweden who surmised that summer babies are typically introduced to solid foods in winter when viral infections are more prevalent. Apparently there's a possible link between early viral infections and one's risk of developing celiac disease.

9. They're optimists. When scientists in Britain and Sweden ran a survey, asking people to share their date of birth and then respond to 13 different statements about their belief in luck and their personality, they found winter-borns were more likely to give pessimistic answers, and summer-borns to do the opposite.

10. They have a higher risk of vision problems. A look at the birth dates of Israeli soldiers with myopia (better known as being near-sighted) found there was a 25 percent higher chance of having trouble seeing if you were born in June or July. Another study in Britain supported the findings.

11. They struggle in school. That is if they live in an area where the age cut-off for school is in or right around summer. Being the youngest in the class has been linked by numerous studies to problems in the early years in school -- from academics to being bullied.

Which one holds true for YOUR summer baby?

Images via © iStock.com/cronopios and ©iStock.com/uvendemir 

To have a daughter in America is to face the Girl Scouts sign-up sheet at least once. They're practically an American institution and one that's helped shape some 59 million American women to boot. But if you've been waffling on whether to let your daughter join the ranks of America's cutest cookie peddlers, this may change your mind: the Girl Scouts have partnered with Barbie.

Yes, that Barbie. The doll that has given parents agita for years for the mixed messages her plastic body sends to our daughters now has pride of place on an I Can Be Anythingbadge from the group that claims to "build girls of courage, confidence, and character."

Face.

Palm.

The partnership apparently cropped up a year ago, but it's only now getting real attention as Barbie maker Mattel rolls out its Girl Scouts doll in stores. And it's managed to make a lot of parents very angry.

Can you blame them?

More From The Stir: Barbie Isn't Raising My Daughter, I Am

Whether you agree that Barbie is a horrible role model for girls or not, it's hardly breaking news that she's controversial. There are a lot of parents in America who have a problem with her (not to mention researchers and child development experts). That alone should have been a giant yellow warning light flashing in the eyes of the folks at Girl Scouts' corporate headquarters as they were making this deal.

Why would an organization that caters to so many diverse girls in America risk making parents angry? What kind of message does this send to those parents? Especially when there are so many other (and many would say better) options available?

Even Barbie's fiercest defenders have to acknowledge that the toy is not exactly educational.

Meanwhile the market is glut with items that you can set up with your kids so they can actually learn something, can actually get a taste for who or what it is they DO what to be when they grow up. If corporate sponsorship was so necessary for the organization, that's where they could -- no, should -- have gone: to the sectors of the toy industry really focused on taking girls to the next step, opening doors, and busting down barriers.

If we're going to tell little girls they can "be anything" with a plastic toy, why not something that signifies true innovation? A Snap Circuits logo on the badge is the first thing that comes to mind. It's a little meta, but talk about sparking a girl's creativity! Or heck, partner with an airline and slap a plane on there to show her she can pilot her own adventure.

Something that doesn't just "say" her options are endless, but presents actual paths to walk into her future? Anything other than Barbie, quite frankly, would do the trick of not only pacifying parents, but presenting little girls with something truly inspiring.

Instead, Girl Scouts of America just delivered a major disappointment to moms. Next time, here's hoping they think a little more like they tell our daughters to -- outside of the box.

What do you think of the partnership? Can you suggest a better pairing?

Image via Girl Scouts

Tiger moms. Helicopter moms. Free-range moms. Ever wonder where you fall on the range of parenting types? It turns out how your children are spending their summer vacations could be the key to figuring it all out.

Whether they're holed up at camp or spacing out with video games, what you've got in store for the kids this summer says a whole lot about the kind of mom you are:

They're either at a playdate or in the back of your minivan, being shuttled to the next water park, with ice cream dripping down their cheeks ... because summer is for the children to have fun! We don't need to see the nail marks in your hands to know you're a martyr mom. The summer is indeed a fun time for kids, but it's OK to just tell them to go make their own fun once in awhile. Who knows, you might even find five seconds to do something for YOU.

They're somewhere. You're not really sure. Maybe climbing a tree or splashing in a brook? Oh, hello free-range mama! Lenore Skenazy is proud of you and your '70s-style parenting. But you might want to take those lawn darts away from the kids before someone loses an eye. Trips to the ER are such a bore.

They're at sleepaway camp ... for the whole summer. If a week or two of camp can help them build confidence, imagine what a whole summer can do? Says every cold-fish mom out there. A little tip? That invitation to parents' weekend isn't just a suggestion.

They're in advanced math classes all day on Mondays and Wednesdays; Mandarin and Spanish on Tuesdays and Thursdays; Fridays are split between leadership training and debate; and on Saturdays and Sundays, they swim under the direction of a former Olympian. Do you have Amy Chua on speed dial, tiger mama? You may want to dial the dictatorship back just a wee bit. Maybe let them sleep past 5 a.m. one day a week?

More From The Stir: 50 Awesome Summer Activities for Bored Kids (No Parents Required)

They're dressed all in vintage duds and munching on kale chips on the way to day camp, where they'll learn to make cheese and take better Instagram photos. No doubt about it; you're a hipster mom, and we raise a reusable bag of organic veggie puffs in your direction.

They're on the couch, playing video games, where they've been since school let out. Sometimes they get up and walk to the fridge. The kids call you the cool mom, but the rest of the world just calls you lazy. To-may-to. To-mah-to, right?

They're driving you up the walls, and you're counting down the days until summer vacation is over. Welcome to normal, everyday motherhood! But hey, at least you're not alone in your insanity!

What are YOUR kids doing this summer? And what about YOU?

Image ©iStock.com/firina

When you hear vaccine advocacy, what's the first thing that comes to mind? A doctor in a white coat? A scientist with a microscope? How about a couple of moms, fighting for kids across America?

Karen Ernst is one of those moms, and with partner Ashley Shelby, she has helped turn Voices for Vaccines, a fledgling website about infectious diseases, into the number one source for parents looking to fight anti-vaccine fear-mongering. With a scientific advisory board that includes world renowned pediatrician Dr. Paul Offit, they're an arm of the Task Force for Global Health that's completely parent-driven ... and completely parent-focused.

The Stir asked Ernst, a mother of three from Minnesota, why she thinks every mom in America needs to announce to her family and friends when she gets her kids vaccinated -- and how to deal with anti-vaccine rhetoric.

What is your background?
I was an English teacher in a previous life.

So not science, not pharmacology?
No, not even close! I took a couple science classes in college -- the ones for humanities majors, you know, the science for poets kind of thing (laughs).

I taught English for a long time -- I've even taught adjunct classes recently -- but I think part of what got to me is one of the things I taught as an English teacher was research methods, how to write a research paper, in particular how to look at your sources.

People would come up with this crazy stuff. I'd be talking on the playground with a mom, and she'd talk about the side effects of flu shots, for example, during the H1N1 outbreak, and I'd think to myself "What are you looking at? Does where you're getting your information have any credibility at all?" It just sort of drove me nuts that people would be willing to believe anything they read or heard without inspecting the credibility.

That's what drove my interest into pro-vaccine advocacy -- really wanting people to look at something credible and understand the difference between a credible source and a non-credible source and be really critical of where you're getting your information.

Do you encounter parents who don't vaccinate in your every day life or is it more on the internet?
That's actually how I started was by encountering somebody in my real life who didn't vaccinate. The very first inkling that I ever had was when I had my son's 5th birthday. He went to pre-school that day, and my sons' birthdays are very close, so I also had a 10-day-old baby. Because it was his birthday, we stayed that whole day. It happened to be the end of the school year, so there were popsicles and bikes and all sorts of crazy stuff going on.

My 10-day-old baby was there too. Fortunately he was in a super cranky mood, so I was carrying him the whole time. The next day I got a call from the lady at the front desk of the pre-school telling me that one of the children at the school had just been diagnosed with chicken pox and she said, "I want you to call your pediatrician right now."

Chicken pox in a newborn is a huge, big deal. You don't want your newborn to get chicken pox. He ended up staying gone for awhile, and when he came back, I confronted the mom.

I didn't confront her in a mean way, it's not like she was an awful, horrible human being who was evil and purposely trying to get people sick. She was a nice person and a good mom and all of these things but she had chosen not to get her child vaccinated.

And I confronted her and I said, "You didn't get the vaccine?" And she said, "Eh, no, that's not important."

And I was like, "But it was important to me! I have a baby!"

That's the kind of interaction you have in real life. Someone makes an offhand comment, and you're like, wait, it is important, but people make social niceties and are polite.

If the Internet didn't exist, I don't think the anti-vaccine movement would be where it is at all. People wouldn't say the things they say on the Internet.

More From The Stir: Vaccine-Friendly Parents Are the Best Thing for Unvaccinated Kids

On the Internet, there's this veil of anonymity where they can come out and say whatever they want and they make these little groups where they congregate together and don't let any pro-vaccine people in and they can spin their tales and weave their web of misinformation. They say things I can't believe they'd ever say in real life in polite company.

I know people in real life who are anti-vaccine and they know I'm pro-vaccine, but the encounters are certainly a lot more ... heated ... when there's that internet in between you and the other human being.

There was a study that came out a few months ago about how vaccine deniers won't be swayed. So how do you feel that being mothers talking to people has the power to break through that?
That study was interesting. They took people who had varying levels of acceptance and denial of vaccines and they showed them facts and statistics on the Internet -- look at this, now what do you think. There wasn't any inter-personal back and forth with that, which I think makes a difference.

There's been studies designed looking at people's social networks. When people are deciding whether or not to vaccinate, they're much more likely to decide not to if they're getting advice -- if even 30 percent of the people around them are saying no, no don't vaccinate. 

I think there is a person-to-person aspect of it that's really important. Part of what we want parents to do is just say that they vaccinate their kids.

I'm betting those people who say people are telling me not to vaccinate, there's a lot of people around them who would advise them to vaccinate who are just saying nothing. 

As far as parents speaking up, I think it's really important just to normalize in your community immunizing. Everyone has an opportunity every fall to say "Hey, my kid got the flu shot -- did you remember to get your flu shot yet?"

How do you guys differentiate from the people who are on the attack? How do you make sure you don't fall into that trap and become the attacker?
It's really important to maintain your level of optimism for the human race so to speak, that when people are discussing with you that your first thought is "This is a question." I think any question -- no matter the intent of how it's asked -- deserves an answer ...

People who are in your life who are anti-vaccines who say these things, a gentle matter-of-fact answer is very helpful. You assume the very best about people, you assume they're asking the question because they have a question, not because they're trying to spread some fear uncertainty or doubt.

Do you have recommendations for pro-vax parents when it comes to putting it out there, how to deal if they do get attacked? It does happen on social media.
Oh, especially on social media! On social media, if you say something in your own personal space and someone wants to attack you for it, you don't have to let that stay there.

There's no reason why that, in your own space, opinion that you disagree with has to stay there. You are allowed to delete that comment. I know I've deleted comments about all sorts of things and then messaged the person to say I deleted your comment because it goes against what I believe and I don't let that stand on my page.

Where it gets much trickier is when you're standing there and you say, "I got my kid the flu shot," and someone says, "You got your kid the flu shot? Now they're going to get autism."

I always say it's a perfectly acceptable answer to look at someone and say, "My doctor recommended that I get a flu shot. I take my children to my doctor because I trust my doctor, and I like my doctor, and I know my doctor is giving my children a standard of care that is supported by multiple organizations, and I feel really good providing my child with the kind of care recommended by all of these people."

I think you just have an easy fallback like that -- I trust my doctor.

I don't think you have to go around with cards telling you, oh, flu shots, autism ... let me tell you what that's wrong. I don't think you need to get into a debate!

Why do you feel it's important for parents to speak up? If the pediatricians are out there telling everyone to get the MMR vaccine, why do we need parents to speak up too?
A lot of people hear the scary things, and they hear these blog posts and these anecdotes and these testimonials and they're all anti-vaccine. And the reason they hear those is because the stories most of us have to tell is "I took my child to get vaccinated and nothing happened."

And that's not a story that has a lot of cachet.

If you Google vaccines or vaccine safety, what comes up is this assault of scary stuff. The facts don't often come up and certainly not these normal stories that parents have to tell come up. That's what we're trying to do at Voices for Vaccines is tell those stories.

I think what that does is make that seem like there's another side, maybe there's a legitimate alternate viewpoint to immunization when there really isn't. The people who are getting all this press is the tiniest fraction of people and what they're saying is not at all supported by science.

You're not going to say, I got my kid vaccinated and nothing happened, but you've got this platform in the hearts and the minds of all these people around you -- your neighbors, your friends, your family. You say, I got my kid vaccinated, and then it's, "well mine are too," and "mine are too," and "mine are too," and the people of your life know all these kids -- especially people who are of child-bearing age and trying to make a decision about vaccinating.

It's a very normal thing, it's a very non-scary thing, all these children are wonderful, you don't mind spending time with these children, everything's going OK. That's an important sort of testimonial for immunization.

A lot of times by the time parents walk into a pediatrician's office, their decision is made. In fact, a lot of parents by the time the baby is born their decision is made. A lot of parents speaking up and showing how normal immunization is really critical.

Why do you think a parent-driven, mom-driven group can make a difference?
You know, mom-driven groups have been making a difference for a long time. Moms certainly are one of the huge social changers in the world, probably more so than people realize. I really think a parent-driven group can make a difference because it's sort of one of those fight fire with fire things.

The anti-vaccine movement has been relying on the fact that they have some sort of parent voice and they feel like they're sort of above reproach because they're just parents speaking out.

I think that's unnecessarily given the a lot of power. The truth of the matter is that parents who want to make a difference and come together can make a difference.

It's important that we don't give up our spot at the table speaking about immunizations to anti-vaccine parents because it's not a fair representation of parents on immunization.

***

If you want to become a parent advocate for Voices for Vaccine, they have a "join us" section on their website. The group is also offering a Vaccine Advocacy 101 workshop call on Wednesday, August 6.

How do you handle it when someone says something negative about vaccines?

Images via © iStock.com/AlpamayoPhoto; Karen Ernst

Mark 2014 on the calendar as the best year ever for actress Zoe Saldana. She's the star of expected summer blockbuster Guardians of the Galaxy, and oh yeah, looks like Saldana is pregnant!

Saldana raised suspicions this week when a photo appeared on Instagram of the actress posing with her Guardians co-stars ... and a blur that just happened to highlight her belly. Then Bradley Cooper's ex-girlfriend hit the red carpet in a sheer Louis Vuitton dress with a t-shaped white belt that did everything to accentuate the belly and, well, you know how tongues start wagging. Check out that "bump":

Aww! She looks adorable!

Turns out Saldana is only about three months along, so it's no wonder she has kept things pretty quiet until now. The first trimester is always uncertain. Not to mention she tends to play things close to the vest -- her wedding to husband Marco Perego in September was kept a secret until after the "I do"s.

Although eagle-eyed fans may have noticed she's thrown out a few hints about her interest in motherhood. Just a few days ago, Saldana tweeted about a sign at a shop welcoming breastfeeding mothers, which is a curious mention for a woman without kids. Then came a tweet making reference to the tightness of her skirt -- because you know what starts happening to your clothes after you're preggo, right ladies, wink, wink!

More from The Stir: Zoe Saldana's 'Shocking' Weight Published on Magazine Cover & Everyone Freaks Out

And the timing couldn't be better -- Saldana just threw a baby shower for her sister, Mariel Saldana Webb, earlier this month. That means she'll not only have big sis to turn to for pregnancy advice, but the cousins will get to grow up together!

Congrats to the mama-to-be!

Did people guess when you were pregnant? What clued them in?

Images via OneRealZoe/Instagram

Excited to go watch Megan Fox on the big screen in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles this summer? Savor the moment. You won't get that many.

Fox grew up with a crush on Michelangelo and took a dream role as April O'Neil in one of the season's most highly anticipated movies. But her favorite role these days is being mom to toddler Noah and infant Bodhi, and as she told The Stir -- acting is a very distant second ... even when she's covered in pee.

On feeling "like a mom."
I'll have these moments like the other day -- three days ago actually -- I was holding Bodhi, and Noah was running around. I was trying to manage both of them because my husband wasn't feeling well. My sister was with me, and we were talking. We were having some sort of theological discussion and Bodhi peed through his diaper and onto me.

I was so exhausted that I didn't even bother looking for a wipe to clean me up. I just checked his clothes to make sure they weren't wet and they weren't. I was soaking wet, but I just let it air dry.

That's how you know you have so many children that you just ... I was too tired to be bothered with cleaning up my clothes or even my hands. I was just like eh, f--k it.

My priority is making sure he's fine, and if he's fine, then whatever. I've been peed on, I've been pooped on. That's sort of one of those moments when you realize how much your life has changed -- especially for me because, once upon a time, I was a germaphobe! The idea of that would have like sent me hiding under the covers. Now I just embrace it and wear it, and it is what it is.

On how motherhood changes you.
From the moment I gave birth and when I was in the hospital with him, even when he would sleep, I wouldn't sleep. I would wake up every 10 minutes and look at him just to make sure he was still breathing.

I think that was the first time I was just like, I love something so much that I will never be the same again. I will never be relaxed again because I will always be worried about him and hoping he's OK and safe and happy.

On working motherhood.
I've never been an extraordinarily ambitious girl or career-oriented but -- especially when I got pregnant with my first son and now my second -- it's so hard to be a working mom, especially when your heart is not in your work, when your heart is with your family.

I have to work sometimes! I have to make at least one movie a year because I have to have a future and I have to be able to pay their way through college and be able to provide for them whatever they need in the future. I do need to work, and I do need to leave them.

What that comes down to in terms of making movies is I'm looking for movies that shoot in Los Angeles -- there are very few of them. I'm looking for movies or projects where I'm part of the ensemble so I can shoot in and out in 10 to 20 days. It's all about time and trying to spend as little time away from my kids as possible.

On having two kids 2 and under.
It's total chaos, obviously!

Before you have kids, you really do not understand how much work it is and how consuming it is. Then you have one and you're like, my baby is my whole world -- especially if you're trying to do it yourself. Every moment of the day is dedicated to this one baby. And then all of a sudden, you have two babies.

What they need is so different. When I'm alone with them, it's really hard to manage because I also don't let them watch TV. It's not like I'm going to set Noah in front of the television so I can take care of Bodhi. I have to figure out how to incorporate Noah into the process and have him help me take care of Bodhi, and make sure he doesn't get jealous, and nobody's neglected, and everybody's needs are being met!

It's difficult to manage that way, but also emotionally, I think for me at least as a mom, it's hard because I don't feel like I'm ever giving either one of them 100 percent of my attention or 100 percent of myself, so I carry a lot of guilt.

Do they each understand how special they are and how much I love them and are they understanding that they're unique? It's hard to make each one feel like an individual when you have to raise them together and manage them together all the time.

On having kids close together.
Bodhi just found his feet, so he's not doing a lot of interacting, but Noah is starting to interact with him. To see him try to comfort him -- sometimes when he cries, he'll try to hold him and shush him, and he'll do the shh, shh, shh, and he'll do the bounce rock.

To watch him do that melts my heart. I'm excited for the future to see them be brothers and be best friends. I know there's going to be lots of fighting, but I know there's going to be lots of hugs and kisses and all the artwork they're going to do together, and the pictures, and memories. I think that's just sort of mind-blowing to think about how amazing the future is going to be with them.

On being a role model to other people's kids.
In this movie, aside from the Turtles -- of course the Turtles are the heroes -- but April is a hero as well and she is not like me at all. April is very ambitious and career-oriented. She is very courageous and she's very interested in fighting for the truth.

There sort of becomes this theme of family in the mid to latter part of the movie.

I think girls will appreciate being able to watch someone who represents them. April is a young girl who gets to be a badass! She's strong and courageous and she can kick ass with the guys and she doesn't back down. She's not afraid of anyone.

We're in this whole movement -- or at least I hope it's a movement -- where young girls can understand it's not only ok to be strong, it's wonderful to be strong.

If you're bossy, it doesn't mean you're a bitch. You're not a nag because you want to be in charge. We have the right to do these things just like men do.

I think that's way heavier than this movie goes! But the idea is that they get to follow a female character who is also the hero of the movie and that's relatively unusual for kids' movies and movies geared to teenagers.

How has motherhood changed your priorities?

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles opens August 8 and is rated PG-13.

Image via Paramount

Today, in further proof that the world just doesn't get how babies are made (or maybe it just doesn't care), the gossip rags are atwitter with allegations that Eva Mendes "blindsided" boyfriend Ryan Gosling with her totally "unplanned" pregnancy. Note we said gossip rags, so grain of salt and all that jazz, folks. After we all join in a giant eye-roll, let's just hash this out.

The allegations are that Eva has desperately been wanting a baby (because woman of a certain age, blah, blah), and the couple was near breaking up when, oh, what is this? A bun in the oven?

Cue the tired old "baby hungry woman gets pregnant to trap man" blame game myth. Yes, it's a popular one, but it's a myth all the same.

It can't happen.

Not if a man spends five seconds thinking about what it is that sex actually does, it can't.

See, here's the deal for those of you whose abstinence-only education failed to make clear that babies are not created only when a Mommy and Daddy love each other so much that they wish you into being: when you have sex, there's a risk of making a baby. If you use birth control, the risk is lower, but still, there is a risk (an estimated 5 percent of unintended pregnancies in America occur in women who used birth control consistently and correctly).

That all being true, if a man has sex with a woman, and she gets pregnant, he cannot be surprised. He cannot be blindsided. He cannot be "trapped." It's simple science. He -- as much as she -- made that baby.

Unfortunately for Mendes, she falls right into that sweet spot that makes for these sort of attacks. She's 40 and has no previous children and the father of the child growing inside her happens to be a much sought-after bachelor. Hollywood could hardly have asked for a better backstory for its baby-hungry man-trapping villain.

More From The Stir: Eva Mendes Really Is Pregnant: Here's the Evidence (PHOTOS)

But at the end of the day, these sort of rumors and accusations only serve to make life harder for moms the world over. They put all the onus for creation on mothers and make children into agents of some evil scheme. If men can be "trapped" into being fathers, blindsided with progeny, then how is it that we can expect any dad to truly be responsible for his kids?

So long as we castigate moms and let dads off the hook for a child's creation, we create an unfair balance of responsibility for mothers.

Eve Mendes may have desperately wanted this baby, but she's not the child's only parent. Let's stop acting like she did something wrong here.

Was your pregnancy "unplanned"? How did your partner react?

Image via Splash News

Teens and their cellphones are rarely parted these days. Some kids even sleep with their cellphones, but if your child is one them, take heed! A Texas teen woke up to the smell of something burning in her bed this week.

Turns out the 13-year-old is one of those kids whose cellphone ends up under her pillow at night -- and the gadget caught on fire. She woke to a phone that had completely melted, glass, plastic, and all. Scary? There's more!

When Ariel Tolfree's family contacted Samsung about her burnt up Galaxy S4, they reportedly told her rechargeable battery danger warnings are on their website for this very reason.

This isn't the first time a kid has gotten burnt by an overheating cellphone, but it's particularly scary because Ariel was asleep. If she hadn't woken from the heat, who knows what could have happened?

Maybe this is a sign for those parents who are loathe to step in and set some limits on cellphone use? Your kids really need to take some time away from their gadgets, and not simply because of the fire hazard!

More From The Stir: The Easy Way to Tell if Your Kid Is Ready for a Cellphone

Researchers already indicate it's dangerous to sleep with your cellphone, in part because kids lose sleep because of the temptation to text and chat with their friends but also because of the radiation that leaks out of the phone. One study published by the Massachusetts Institute of Technology's Progress in Electromagnetics Research Symposium claims taking a cellphone to bed can actually cause you to take longer to reach the deep sleep stage necessary for the body to repair itself. On top of that, the study says you spend less time in that stage if the cellphone is in bed with you.

Granted, some kids use their phones as alarm clocks, so taking them away entirely isn't possible. But they should at least keep the phone out of the bed (so no sticking it under the pillow like Ariel), and the phone should be set in airplane mode so texts and calls don't interfere with their important sleep.

Asking them to separate from their phone for a whole eight hours may earn you an eye roll and a door slam, but hey, it's better to be safe than sorry.

Do your kids sleep with their cellphones? Will you let that happen after reading this?

Image via © Tetra Images/Corbis

When picking a baby name, there are plenty of things for parents to consider. Does it flow with the last name? Is it too weird? And, of course, who else had the name? Were they a good person?

One way to solve the last one? Pick a saint's name! A popular practice with many Christians -- in fact, Catholic parents typically use the name of a canonized saint as either the first or middle name of their little one. Some priests even require it before they will baptize a baby.

Looking for a saint name that will fit your baby boy? Here are 25 that just might fit the bill:

1. Aaron -- Sometimes spelled Aihran, he's the patron saint of anybody who lives a passionate and steadfast life. Not bad traits for a little guy!

2. Adrian -- A saint with a storied history, he was a pagan who became a Christian ... and was jailed and tortured for standing up for what he believed in. He's the patron saint of plague, epilepsy, arms dealers, butchers, guards, soldiers.

3. Alexander -- There are several saints who bear this name. The name means "defender of the people," and it's ripe for nicknames -- from Alex to Lex to Xander!

4. Ambrose -- He's the patron saint of the Milan (as in the Italian city), beekeepers, and honeymakers, and his name means "immortal."

5. Basil -- You might have a future doctor on your hands if you go with this name -- he's the patron saint of hospital administrators as well as a delicious herb.

6. Benedict -- Boys with this name share it with a recent pope, plus a saint known for patronage of "happy death." A little too dark for you? Benedictine monks, who bear the saint's name, have a motto of peace. Not to mention, the name means "blessed."

7. Bernard -- If you think you've got an adventurer on your hands, you might want to go with this name -- he's the patron saint of mountain climbers!

8. Blaise -- Love animals? So did Saint Blaise; he's their patron as well as the patron of throat illness (in fact, blessings of the throat bear his name).

9. Christopher -- The patron saint of travelers; his name means Christ-bearer.

10. Damien -- Unofficially the patron saint of those with HIV and AIDS, Saint Damien had a huge heart -- he worked with lepers, the people no one wanted to be around. Can you think of a better role model for a little guy than someone who went out of his way for those who were ignored by society?

11. Dominic -- Little boys with this name are bound to do big things -- after all, Saint Dominic is the patron of astronomers.

12. Francis -- St. Francis of Assisi is well known as patron saint of animals, and blessings of critters are often held in his name.

13. Gabriel -- A little boy named for Gabriel, the archangel, will also bear the name of the patron of communications workers.

14. Gerard -- Talk about a fit name for a baby -- St. Gerard is patron saint of expectant mothers!

15. Jerome -- Give your future scholar a name that suits him -- Jerome is the patron saint of librarians!

16. Jude -- St. Jude Thaddeus is the patron saint of desperate cases, and a hospital bears his name!

17. Kilian -- The patron saint of sufferers of rheumatism, his name is Irish and can also be spelled Killian or Cillian.

18. Louis -- The patron saint of hairdressers and France (yes, the country), the name has some seriously royal roots. A long line of French Louises were kings!

19. Luke -- Expect great things from a little boy named for St. Luke, patron of physicians and surgeons.

20. Patrick -- One of the most famous saints of all, St. Patrick is known for driving the snakes from Ireland. And he has one heckuva fun holiday!

21. Paul -- Another one of the better known saints, Paul used to be a favorite in America, but it's fallen out of fashion. But maybe it's time for a comeback? If you're not sold on the name, St. Paul the Apostle's real name was Saul.

22. Philip -- If you've got a taste for sweets while pregnant, how about naming your little guy for Saint Philip, patron saint of pastry makers? The name means lover of horses.

23. Raphael -- Not just a ninja turtle, Raphael the Archangel is the patron saint of doctors and love!

24. Sebastian -- An elegant name from the patron saint of athletes.

25. Vincent -- Saint Vincent de Paul has a charitable society named after him in England because he was, after all, the "Apostle of Charity" and "Father of the Poor." Not a bad legacy. The name itself means conquering.

Have you been considering a saint name? Why?

Images ©iStock.com/RealCreation; ©iStock.com/DariuszPa

Nothing says "I love you" quite like coming together to make a child, right? Yeah ... about that. Welcoming a baby into this world is a magical, mystical experience. That is up until the moment when you and your partner get into a rip-roarin' blow-out fight over one of the many (many, many, many ...) parenting issues you're suddenly facing.

Sorry to burst your love bubble, but there's nothing like being head over heels for your baby to make two people with differing opinions really butt heads. But if you're pregnant, you're lucky -- you still have nine months to get all this squared away!

Here they are ... the 30 arguments to have BEFORE it's time to bring that baby into the world:

1. Family bed or "No way, no how is that infant getting in between us!"?

2. Spanking or time-out?

3. His last name, her last name, or how do we combine the two?

4. Unusual baby first name or stick with the classics?

5. First poopy diaper change: Mom, Dad, or let the nurses take care of it?

6. Bottle, breast, or a little bit of both?

7. Vaccinate or "Don't you dare stick a needle in my kid!"?

8. Whose responsibility is it to tell Granny she needs to call before she comes over?

9. Should godparents be family or friends?

10. Pacifiers or thumb?

11. Babywearing or stroller?

12. Hold them to sleep or let them cry it out?

13. Daycare or somebody's staying home?

14. How long is too long to go without sex?

15. Placenta: stash it in a doggy bag or trash it in medical waste?

16. (If bottlefeeding) Who mixes the formula?

17. (If bottlefeeding) Cold formula or warm that stuff up?

18. Circumcising or keeping him intact?

19. Open door on the delivery room or make the mother-in-law stay home?

20. All-natural birth or "Get me the drugs the moment I ask for them!"?

21. Granny, the nanny, or let's get someone a little younger?

22. Get me a push present or save that money for diapers?

23. Political/sports team onesies or let's let this kid make up his own mind?

24. Piercing baby's ears or let's wait until she's old enough to clean them?

25. Photos on Facebook or let their Google trail start after they're potty trained (at least!)?

26. Umbilical stump cleaning duty: Mom or "I just had 14 hours of back labor, your turn to do something!"?

27. Dad during delivery: at the head or down below?

28. Home birth or hospital?

29. Baby talk or let's start this kid off with language we actually want her to use one day?

30. Calling each other Mommy and Daddy -- sweet or sorta weird?

More from The Stir: 6 Absolute Best Ways to Prep For Parenthood

Add yours! What fight do you wish you'd settled before baby came along?

Image ©iStock.com/RuslanDashinsky

Know you have a baby girl on the way? Congratulations! Now it's time to pick a baby name, and you'd be smart to pick one with a good history. You can't do better than a saint name -- particularly one of the patron saints who can look over your little one as they grow.

From Alexis to Zita, we've got you covered with 25 names for little girls inspired by saints. Each one is a patroness of something special.

1. Alexis -- St. Alexis was a man and patron saint of beggars, but his name has become popular with parents of little girls looking for a strong moniker. After all, it means to defend.

2. Agatha -- Looking for a throwback name? There won't be a ton of Agathas in your little girl's preschool, but she'll certainly have someone to look up to. St. Agatha is the patron of nurses.

3. Apollonia -- Another name that falls under the "unique" category, it's never been ranked in the top 1,000 baby names. Ever! Speaking of things that won't happen -- she's patroness of toothaches. May the teething stage be smooth sailing.

4. Catherine -- Set your little scholar on her way to greatness with a name from the patroness of students.

5. Bernadette -- The patroness of shepherds, St. Bernadette Soubirous is famous for being the first to see Mary appear in a field in Lourdes, France. Although an uneducated peasant, she wasn't afraid -- or willing to be quiet when people didn't believe her. The name was popular in the 1940s but has fallen out of fashion.

6. Brigid -- Irish moms who want to keep their culture alive have a perfect pick in St. Brigid of Kildare -- the patron saint of Ireland.

7. Jeanne -- You've heard of Joan of Arc? Well, her name in her native France -- for which she's the patron saint -- was really Jeanne, meaning God is gracious.

8. Cecilia -- A lyrical name for the patron saint of musicians.

9. Clare -- Who would have thought there'd be a patron saint of television? No surprise the name means famous!

10. Colette -- The patron of women trying to conceive, this triumphant name means victory of the people.

11. Felicity -- A happy name for the patron saint of moms!

12. Louise -- St. Louise de Marillac is patron of social workers.

13. Genevieve -- A name of both Celtic and French origins, your little girl could share it with the patron saint of Paris. Ooh, la la!

14. Gianna -- One of the more recently canonized saints, Gianna Beretta Molla was a doctor and mother in Italy. Naturally she's a patroness of moms and physicians! The Italian name means God is gracious.

15. Maria -- The patron saint of the young (and young at heart!), the name means "wished-for child." How appropriate! 

16. Lucy -- The patron of the blind and eye disorders, Lucy was a Sicilian martyr.

17. Kiara -- Not much is known about this Irish saint, but her name is lovely. As for its meaning, it's a little mysterious: black-haired one.

18. Kateri -- A relatively new saint -- she was canonized in 2012 -- Kateri was Native American and lived in the 1600s in what is now New York. She is the patron of environment and ecology.

19. Monica -- A favorite with moms, Saint Monica is the patron of mothers! No wonder the name means "to advise."

20. Philomena -- It only seems fitting for a little girl born after her parents struggled with infertility to be named for the issue's patron. And you can bet she'll be feisty with a name that means "lover of strength."

21. Rita -- The Beatles aren't the only ones who have a thing for lovely Rita. She's the patron saint of parents!

22. Rose -- St. Rose of Lima is watching over all of South America, so why not your baby girl too? 

23. Ursula -- Think the patron of young girls, not the sea witch, for this name with a nod to nature that means "she-bear."

24. Teresa -- Prone to migraines? Hopefully a little girl named for St. Teresa of Avila, patron saint of -- you guessed it -- headaches, can help!

25. Zita -- A unique name but a beautiful one, it comes from the patroness of domestic workers.

Which ones are your favorites?

Images ©iStock.com/RealCreation and ©iStock.com/colevineyard

Leilani Rogers has breastfed four children. The Texas mom nursed her youngest child for 18 months. And for 18 months, she managed to schedule every outing, every doctor's appointment so she never had to nurse in public. In fact, it wasn't until Rogers, a birth photographer, began to take photos of breastfeeding mothers that she felt her own inhibitions about feeding your child out in the public's eye fall away.

It's why Rogers created the Public Breastfeeding Awareness Project (PBAP), an annual drive that draws hundreds of moms across America to allow themselves to be photographed ... while breastfeeding. This year's event kicked off in concert with World Breastfeeding Week, and the hashtag #PBAP2014 has already taken social media by storm, spreading photos of nursing moms across the globe. 

"On a global level, the purpose of this project is to help normalize public breastfeeding, something the world unfortunately sexualizes," Rogers told The Stir. "The majority of people support breastfeeding, though the minority that trolls pro-breastfeeding articles/pictures online is very vocal."

Ironically, it's online where the breastfeeding project really got its start. Rogers ran a poll during World Breastfeeding Week in 2013, asking moms where they felt most uncomfortable nursing in public. The answers were fast and furious -- churches, grocery stores, the park, the pool, work, libararies ...

"It dawned on me that I could target specific situations where mothers felt uncomfortable nursing in public by photographing them in those situations," Rogers explained.

"I love preserving this beautiful and natural bond for mothers, and I've seen that through exposure, society becomes more accepting of it and it becomes more 'normal' in their eyes. Not only that, but other mothers see the images and feel a stronger sense of community and support. They walk away from conversations about these images with more confidence, and they are empowered enough to not place so much importance on their society's misguided views about breasts."

More From The Stir: Incredible Images of Babies Being Born Give Us a Look at the Miracle of Birth

So she put out a call for models and got to work taking photos. As she posted the nursing in public, or NIP, images to Facebook, word spread. She began to see other photographers starting their own, similar projects in their own cities, and the idea to step outside of her hometown of Austin was born. 

"It occurred to me to join forces and make this a worldwide effort. I've got at least 50 photographers signed up to participate in the Public Breastfeeding Awareness Project this year, in locations all over the US as well as Ireland and Canada," Rogers tells The Stir.

And it isn't just the person behind the lens who has changed. "Model" moms have come out in droves, and from all walks of life.

"This year I have expanded to include working mothers who pump on the job, as well as mothers who bottle-feed or even tube-feed breast milk," Rogers says. "You may notice a mom in a wheelchair in [some] pictures. She was in a terrible car accident after she'd already signed up to both participate in my session and be a photographer herself. Her breasfteeding relationship was cut short due to complications front he accident and told me she didn't think she was a good fit for the project anymore. I told her to come anyway, if anything to honor the dedication she had to breastfeeding her 21- month-old."

Work your way through the images on Facebook from the project, and the response is overwhelming. The word most often repeated? A simple, "love."

"One thing I realized after last year’s project is that these images were encouraging a sense of community among breastfeeding moms," Rogers says. "I received emails and messages from moms who, like me, had avoided breastfeeding in public for fear of scrutiny not only from the public but from other mothers.

"There are organizations like LLL (La Leche League) that offer tremendous support to breastfeeding mothers. But images like these are encouraging and inspiring mothers to breastfeed outside of those walls with more confidence.

"This is one way I hope for this project to make an impact," Rogers continues. "Breastfeeding mothers do face some barriers, but the more the public sees it, the more normal or accepted it will become."

***

Want to get involved? Check Rogers's list of participating photographers on her Facebook page to find out if someone near you is involved in the Public Breastfeeding Awareness Project. Post a photo of yourself breastfeeding in public on Facebook, Instagram or Twitter, using hashtags #PBAP2014 #worldbreastfeedingweek #supportpublicbreastfeeding #breastfeedinginreallife #thisisnormal. Or share the photos below with one of those hashtags!

Where are YOU most uncomfortable breastfeeding? Does #6 help you feel more comfortable?

Image via Leilani Rogers, Photographer

Every year it happens. The school supply list comes in. I take one look, and I groan. Is it any wonder parents end up spending some $72.5 billion (yes, BILLION) on back to school shopping every year? Recycling your school supplies is darn near impossible.

It's not that we don't have anything worth recycling. In the last few days of school, my 9-year-old daughter came home every day with a backpack full of the detritus that had accumulated in her desk and locker over the year.

Erasers halves. Stubby pencils. Plastic folders in various colors. 

Most, if not all, are used, but there's still life in them.

And yet, a quick survey of parents from various school districts uncovered the same problem: school supply lists often make demands that force parents to buy new school supplies. 

Some teachers want everything in sealed packages. Others call for certain brands over others. Many specify NEWLY sharpened pencils or specific sized erasers, packages of an exact number of glue sticks or wipes.

More From The Stir: 8 Reasons Moms Hate Sending Their Kids Back to School

And don't get me started on the teachers who require specific colored folders. While I understand that they probably have a plan to keep things uniform in the classroom (IE: everyone uses the blue folder for take-home work and the red folder for math), would it really hurt teachers in the same district to huddle up and agree on using the same colors year after year so we can reuse them? I have plastic folders (which are both more expensive and harder to come by) coming out my ears in every color of the rainbow because each year the supply list calls for a different hue!

Now, don't get me wrong. I understand that it's my job as a parent to outfit my daughter for the school year, and I'll gladly do it. I know too that all too often teachers are reaching into their own pockets because districts don't stock their classrooms with all they need, and not every parent can do their share (and yes, there are those who can but just don't bother).

I don't expect the teacher to parent my kid. But I would appreciate a little leeway on the school supply list, and I know I'm not alone. 

Parents in America are as cash-strapped as ever. In 2013, a Gallup poll showed some 31 percent of single parent households struggle just to buy food (the figure is at around 19 percent for two-parent households, still a pretty significant portion of the the population). Some 2.3 million kids in America are living with unemployed parents who haven't had a job for 26 weeks or longer, putting them beyond the cut-off for benefits.

Frugality is a necessity for American parents. And doing what we can to stretch a dollar doesn't mean we're trying to short our kids.

If anything, the money I stand to save if I can recycle the glut of school supplies building up in her bedroom could be put into buying her nicer sneakers for gym class or stocking up on better quality lunchtime eats.

But first I need to convince the school to accept those stubby pencils ...

Do you recycle school supplies? How much do you end up spending on your back to school shopping?

Image via © Jamie Grill/Tetra Images/Corbis

Breastfeeding mamas have made the big time! Actress Olivia Wilde allowed photographers to take photos of her breastfeeding son Otis, standing (OK, technically sitting) arm-in-arm with other moms who "dare" to breastfeed in public. Not seeing the big fuss? Glamour magazine put Wilde on the cover ... and the breastfeeding shot in its spread on their cover girl.

It's official. You can breastfeed and still be a vibrant, sexy, fashionable woman. Isn't that what we expect to find in your standard women's magazine, after all?

Check this baby (and mama) out:

Lovely. Isn't it?

So natural. So normal.

The spread is in Glamour's September issue, which will hit newstands August 12, but it showed up on the magazine's website just in time for World Breastfeeding Week and shatters outdated notions of breastfeeding moms as being part of some crunchy cult of women who eschew the trappings of modern femininity.

Breastfeeding moms -- they're just like us.

Because they ARE us.

More From The Stir: Moms Breastfeed in Very Public Places to Make Nursing 'Normal' (PHOTOS)

It's true that breastfeeding mothers have been in national magazines before. Who doesn't remember that disastrous TIME magazine article with its incendiary "are you mom enough" tagline.

But what Glamour -- and Wilde -- are doing with this photo isn't challenging moms, not even moms who choose to formula-feed. It's celebrating them. It's reminding women that we can be many things all at once -- moms, sexual beings, fashionistas, thinkers, doers ...

Said the actress to the magazine:

Being shot with Otis is so perfect because any portrait of me right now isn’t complete without my identity as a mother being a part of that. Breastfeeding is the most natural thing. I don’t know, now it feels like Otis should always be on my breast. It felt like we were capturing that multifaceted woman we’ve been discussing—that we know we can be. You can be someone who is at once maternal and professional and sexy and self-possessed. [But] I mean, I certainly don’t really look like that when I’m [typically] breastfeeding. And there’s usually a diaper involved.

Sounds familiar, doesn't it?

What do you think of this photo of mom and baby? Is this what you want to see more of in national magazines?

Images via Patrick Demarchelier/Glamour

If there's one thing the makers of Bravo's Extreme Guide to Parenting got right, it's that American parents can -- and should -- turn to the new reality show as a guide. A guide of what not to do to their kids, that is.

The network that has made the word "housewife" synonymous with up-turned tables and lady brawls is now turning the lens on parents who the show's title sequence says are "America's greatest parents ... at least they think they are."

In a premiere that airs tonight at 9:30 p.m. ET/PT, we meet Shira Adler, mom to an "indigo child" who practices "eco-kosher, shamanistic organic, natural, and for highest and best good" parenting (say that five times fast). In other words? She carries around crystals, is constantly spritzing her kids in the face with an aromatherapy spray, and has no discipline plan whatsoever.

Then there are Scout Masterson and Bill Horn, whose hands-on approach to parenting means never leaving their daughter alone. Never. Ever. Ever.

The latter couple is no stranger to reality TV; you may remember them as the "guncles" on Tori Spelling and Dean McDermott's pre-scandal show, Tori and Dean: Home Sweet Hollywood. Adler, meanwhile, advertises herself online as a "certified past life regressionist, inspirational host, writer, and speaker who can help you in person, at workshops, and through phone sessions."

It's hard to tell whether these parents knew going into filming that they would become the butt of the producers' jokes, but the show does little in the way of giving real parents any sort of "guide" to the particular parenting styles the stars practice. There are no tips. No how-tos. Instead it's clear that Bravo cast around for the kookiest parents on the planet ... the more to judge, the better.

It would be easier to simply roll our eyes at these off-the-wall parenting practices if it weren't for the kids featured on Extreme Guide.

Simone, Masterson and Horn's 3-year-old daughter, is a delightful little imp, with crisp pronunciation and an attitude that's just the right side of sassy. But her fathers have structured their entire lives around her, even moving their jobs to their home so they can be there 24/7, making every decision for her (seriously, their nanny is Scout's mom, but she can't even choose what Simone will eat for lunch without one of the dads weighing in). When asked about date nights, the men are quick to say they don't actually "want" time away from their toddler. Or, as Horn puts it, he wants to spend every waking minute with her.

He's not exaggerating. 

We'll excuse you for a moment to go gulp down some fresh air. We're starting to feel a bit closed in ourselves.

Adler, on the other hand, isn't stifling her kids. In fact, 10-year-old Yonah could use a little more attention -- at least attention of the right kind. His mom, who believes we all carry an aura of a certain color, describes her youngest child as an "indigo." When a psychiatrist suggests she make changes because he's not succeeding in school as is, Adler insists that these kids who color outside the lines are made to change the world. Why would she change a kid who is supposed to change the world?

Her struggle against a school system that suggests medicating her son is admittedly heartbreaking -- and familiar with countless parents in America.

But her 10-year-old lies to her face about having a bullet in his school bag only to contradict himself ... and Mom doesn't even raise an eyelid (and certainly doesn't discipline him). Her response to most things is to spray something in his face; meanwhile, her 12-year-old -- better behaved -- daughter is largely ignored.

Mom and Dad ... do not try this at home!

These two couples represent only two of the "extremes" Bravo promises to bring us on Thursday nights ... which might just be the scariest part of all.

Will you be tuning in to the show? Think you can learn anything?

Image via Bravo

They say breast is best, so it's hard to imagine a hospital advising a mom who wants to breastfeed that she shouldn't even attempt to nurse. But that's exactly what happened to a new mom in Oregon this month. Crystal Cain was told she couldn't breastfeed her daughter in the hospital because she's used medical marijuana since pregnancy. 

Take note of the word "medical." Cain is not your garden variety pothead. She actually took the drug -- legally -- on the advice of her midwife as a means to control both anxiety and nausea during pregnancy.

Cain's daughter was born eight weeks premature and required a hospital stay before coming home. That's where the mom says she was told she couldn't nurse the child because of her marijuana use. She didn't want to stop the treatment because it was helping her, but she didn't want her child to miss out on the benefits of the breast either.

When Cain put up a fight, the hospital backed off, forcing her to sign a waiver that acknowledged the potential risks of simultaneous marijuana usage and breastfeeding.

It's about as happy a medium as you can expect, but the issue certainly opens up a debate for mothers across the country. Who gets to decide what moms are doing while breastfeeding, especially in respect to legal drugs such as marijuana? A mother? A doctor? Who?

Who decides what's worth the risk to baby and what isn't?

More From The Stir: Mom Explains Why Her 4-Year-Old Uses Medical Marijuana Every Day

As medical marijuana usage gains popularity -- and legality -- in various states, there are bound to be more and more moms who are nursing ... and inhaling.

While the American Academy of Pediatrics still advises breastfeeding moms to pass on the bong, the pharmaceutical means used to treat conditions such as anxiety also scare breastfeeding moms. The medical establishment seems to waffle on the safety of taking antidepressants while nursing so often that it's hardly surprising that a mom might choose a more natural option.

Some moms opt out of breastfeeding entirely, turning to formula, because they just don't feel the risk is worth it. But it's hard to say which is better for baby -- getting the benefits of nursing with the drawbacks of anxiety and depression treatment (of any form) or going on formula to avoid those risks but not getting the nursing benefits.

Unfortunately, there isn't much medical research on marijuana usage while breastfeeding. No wonder -- what mother wants to be the one who puts her baby at a potential risk for the sake of science? That puts hospitals in a sticky position. On the other hand, moms need to make the decisions best for them and for their babies, and we need to be trusted to make that decision.

Would you smoke pot and breastfeed at the same time? How about taking antidepressants?

Image via © iStock.com/hidesy

When it comes to deciding whether you should use cloth diapers or disposable, the former has a lot going for it. Cloth diapering is cost effective and good for the environment too. But if you're considering going with cloth, you might be worried about all that laundry.

It's true the disposable diapers are easier in this regard -- take it off baby and throw it in the trash. But washing your cloth diapers is not nearly as complicated -- or time consuming -- as it was in the olden days. Forget those visions of women slaving over vats of boiling water. Today's diapers are much simpler to launder. Here's how to wash your cloth diapers:

1. Pre-treat diapers as soon as possible. "Pre-treating is necessary mainly for removal of more deeply embedded stains," explains Roy Couvillion, a product designer for FuzziBunz cloth diaper company.

To pre-treat, knock any solids into your toilet (yes, you can use some toilet paper so you don't have to touch the poop!), then rinse the diaper well with water. If there are any diaper creams on the diaper or absorbent insert, Couvillion suggests using a grease-cutting pre-treatment.

"Oils or creams can linger on microfibers and degrade their functionality," he warns. "A good grease cutting pre-treater will loosen and remove that residue in the wash."

2. Choose detergents wisely. Just because a detergent says it's "non-toxic" doesn't mean it's safe for baby. When researchers at the Environmental Working Group (EWG) looked at more than 2,000 detergents and other cleaning products, they found more than half contained chemicals that can harm the lungs and a quarter contained ingredients known to cause asthma. Not something you want to use on baby's diapers. Fortunately the EWG has a handy laundry guide for parents.

If you have hard water, it can degrade the diaper, so Couvillion suggests adding a laundry water softener, phosphate or washing soda, or borax to soften the water.

3. Wash dirty diapers within 24 hours of soiling. It may sound like a lot of work, but remember, you invested in quality diapers. Don't let them be ruined because you don't have time for laundry. Not to mention, daily washings can help prevent diaper rash.

More From The Stir: Cloth vs. Disposable Diapers: The Pros & Cons of Each

"Nothing good comes from leaving dirty diapers in a warm moist environment for over a day," Couvillion warns. "It’s a perfect environment for bacteria to grow and for urea to convert to ammonia. Also, the longer you let strong odors sit on polyester, the harder it will be to remove them without a long detergent soak."

3. Let them dry completely. Because many cloth diapers with multi-layer inserts are made to be absorbent, they can appear dry on the outside, but be wet in the middle. To gauge if your diaper is really dry, place a piece of colored construction paper on a table, lay the all-in-one or insert over the construction paper, and press down hard with your knuckles. If wet spots appear on that paper, there's still water inside the pad. Drying in sunlight can help speed the process -- and make sure bacteria is truly dead.

4. Smell the diaper. Urea, ammonia, and active bacteria can all build up in cloth diapers, Couvillion says, and if it's there, you're going to smell it. If you smell it, it's not ready to go back on baby's bottom!

"An odor is a sign the diaper is not clean," he explains. "Masking the odor will not clean the diaper. If a diaper is washed in a perfume-free (and odor-blocker-free) detergent and it smells like urine after a vigorous wash, wash it again!"

You can use a clean rinsing laundry agent to do that second wash (Couivillion suggests doing it twice). Separate inserts can also be disinfected with a tablespoon of chlorine bleach or two tablespoons of concentrated oxygen bleach.

5. Check for degradation. High quality diapers can last up to 15 years, Couvillion says, but degraded elastic can cause leakage, so check to see that the elastic is still snug. When everything is dry, and it's time to re-stuff your diaper, remove your rings. Turns out stuffing pocket diapers while wearing a diamond ring is one of the biggest causes of diaper damage!

Are you using cloth diapers? What's your washing process like?

Images via © iStock.com/pekkak; iStock.com/nojman

Go walking through the toy aisle at any store, and you're bound to see the term "non-toxic" bandied about. It's a term parents should take with a (giant) grain of salt. After all, a government agency just put out a call for a permanent ban on five different phthalates in items made for kids. 

Phthalates, if you haven't heard the term, are a group of chemicals used to make plastics more flexible and harder to break, and they commonly show up in kids' toys and other childcare products. Now for the scary part: the CDC says phthalates can affect the reproductive system in lab animals. The EPA calls the plasticizers "endocrine disruptors or hormonally-active agents," and the National Toxicology Program warns the chemicals may adversely affect human reproduction or development.

And these are in our children's products?! In 2014?

It turns out some of the scary chemicals have been removed over the years. Certain phthalates haven't been used in pacifiers, soft rattles, and teethers since 1999, for example, and three more phthalates (there are more than a dozen types) were banned in 2008.

But that's just the tip of the iceberg.

According to a report issued last month by the Chronic Hazard Advisory Panel, an arm of the Consumer Product Safety Commission, diisobutyl phthalate (DIBP), di-n-pentyl phthalate (DnPP), di-n-hexyl phthalate (DnHP), and dicyclohexyl phthalate (DCHP) are all used in kids' products -- and should all be banned, even at microscopic levels. The panel also called for an interim ban on diisononyl phthalate (DINP) be made permanent because that chemical "had maximum potential for exposure to infants, toddlers, and older children."

There is good news here for parents, although frankly not much. The panel concluded most of kids' exposure to these dangerous chemicals came not through their toys and other childcare items but through food, beverages, and drugs.

But it's there.

Mouthing teethers and toys, for example, were cited as a source of exposure to DINP for young kids.

So much for non-toxic and safe for children, huh?

The thing moms really need to ask their legislators is why is this stuff in kids' products at all? It doesn't matter if it's at microscopic levels or if it's not the main source of contamination for kids.

It's there. That's a problem.

More from The Stir: The Ultimate Non-Toxic Baby Guide: How to Find Safe Products for Your Child

If back in 1999 they were already seeing issues with this stuff, why are we still dealing with it 15 years later? How many millions of kids have been exposed in that time? And how many millions more WILL be exposed until someone does something?

NY Senator Kirsten Gillibrand has introduced a bill in the Senate to expand prohibitions on what is used in production of children's products -- but it's still just sitting in a committee, waiting for someone to care enough to move it forward.

It's hard for us as parents to really find the time to write our legislators about chemicals in kids' products. We have enough on our hand between changing diapers, helping with homework, and trying to pay our bills.

Sadly, however, this is what it means to be a parent ... to fight for our kids at every turn. So while we should be able to buy something that says "non-toxic" and actually spend our (rare) free moments playing with said "non-toxic" play thing with our kids, giving them our quality time, instead this is what we face: a world where we can't trust the big guys to help take care of our little guys (and girls).

What are you doing to keep your kids safe from these scary products? Did you know this stuff was still hiding in there?

Image via © wojciech_gajda

Moms, hold onto your smartphones, we're in for another bumpy ride. This time it's a pediatrician who has overtaken the Internet with yet another diatribe about parents who spend too much time with gadgets in their hands and -- in her mind anyway -- too little time paying attention to their kids.

Sure, some of what Dr. Jane Scott has to say in her now viral essay, "Parents, Put Down Your Smartphones," is worth pondering if you're a parent. But added to other rants of the same ilk that have popped up over the past year or so on the Internet, it's hard not to feel like people like Scott often miss the forest for all the trees.

Smartphones have changed parenting. Sometimes for the bad.

But it's time some acknowledge that just as often, smartphones have made life better for kids and parents alike.

Take, for example, Dr. Scott's description of a recent visit from 2-year-old with an ear infection and his dad:

Upon entering my examining room, I found father and son sitting together, eyes downcast, each silently scrolling and tapping on smartphones.

This is where I admit that I've, at times, had my smartphone in hand at the pediatrician's office. I'm a working mom. Running out to get my daughter's pink eye looked at by our pediatrician meant time away from my job, but thanks to my smartphone, I was able to save my sick/personal time for a day when she's truly too ill to get off the couch and I really need to "take a day." Instead, I could answer emails on the go and still be "on the clock." I could provide for my sick kid without risking my employment.

Pretty significant when you consider 33 percent of parents in America report having to take time off work from their job to care for sick kids that has resulted in lost pay and/or put their jobs at risk.

Consider that one way smartphones have made parenting easier for parents. Work/life balance may still be elusive, but thanks to the Internet on a handy little gadget that we can cart around, we're that much closer. 

Not convinced that's evidence that smartphones can be GOOD for parents and kids?

When Dr. Scott told the little boy he had an ear infection, she relates that the first thing he did was turn to the iPhone and query Siri about ear infections:

When a child so young turned to a machine for information instead of to his father, it made me wonder: Just how limited was his parents' screen time? What I saw was modeled behavior -- a child who has learned that when he has a question, Siri, and not Dad, is most readily available with an answer.

In truth, I see some of her concerns. Two seems awfully young to be that familiar with the ins and outs of the iPhone. And as a parent of a 9-year-old who is quickly adopting the typical tween "my parents know nothing" approach, I shudder to think of it having happened seven years ago.

But there is a flipside that stories like this one so rarely tell, a flipside that I consider to be my ace in the hole even now as I fight that tween attitude. 

When my daughter asks me a question, I don't have to say, "I don't know" as my parents and their parents before them did. I have the entire Internet at my disposal, right at the tip of my fingers. 

That's right, when my kid asks me a question, I whip out my smartphone. Scott may surmise that I'm modeling bad behavior for my daughter, but I say it's the very opposite.

I'm teaching her that being curious about the world is a good thing, and also how to find the answers to her questions.

More From The Stir: Mom Confession: I Take My iPhone to the Park & Ignore My Kid

Other times, too, I use my smartphone to share interesting tidbits about the world with her. Last week she was reading a book that featured marmots and asked what they were. I had to Google the little critters to provide an answer. Fast forward to this week, and as I was surfing the web, I came across a video of a marmot licking a Go-Pro camera. I called her over, let her watch, and she has a new favorite YouTube video ... and a much clearer understanding of marmots.

It's a marvel of the world we're living in.

I grew up in a small town with a prototypical small town library in the pre-Internet age. If I had a question that my parents couldn't answer, I had to wait for the library to open to look it up. Even then, I had to hope that the library actually had a book on the shelves that contained the answer.

Often, they didn't.

For today's children, the answers they will find are limited only by the questions they ask. And smartphones? They have made the Internet immediate.

Information is always there.

STILL not convinced that there's enough evidence of the positive nature of smartphone use for parents? How about this bit of information?

Studies into how kids and parents use cellphones have actually found enhanced connections between the two generations. Kids often feel more comfortable opening up to their parents via text because they're not forced to broach topics face-to-face, and a majority of adults say technology "allows their family life today to be as close, or closer, than their families were when they grew up."

And get this -- more parents today connect to their kids via cellphone than they do via a landline. 

Do we need to be responsible with our phones (and our other gadgets) around our kids? Absolutely. It's just plain bad manners to pull out your phone at the dinner table. It's just plain dangerous to walk down the street with your eyes boring holes in the box in your palm while your kids are running wild. It's just plain silly to attend your child's baseball game and never actually look up and see them PLAY baseball. It's just plain sad if entire families spend hours at home together in the same room and never actually speak one word to one another because they're all too wrapped up in something electronic.

But instead of telling moms they've got to "put down the smartphone" and constantly shaming those of us who make frequent use of technology, how about taking a second and asking yourself why she has that phone in her hand in the first place.

Do you use a smartphone? How has it helped YOU as a mom?

Image via © iStock.com/TARIK KIZILKAYA