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Turns out it isn't razor blades in candy or one of the dreaded "healthy treats" houses that you need to watch out for this Halloween. Because we don't have enough religious holidays in America, October 31 has been declared JesusWeen by the evangelical community. And instead of turning off their porch lights like a disgruntled neighbor ought to, they are actively courting America's kids.
The goal? To turn unsuspecting Iron Mans, Tinkerbells, and white-sheeted ghosts into an evangelist army with a bag full of Bibles. Anyone else having a problem with this?
Let me repeat this. In an attempt to turn Halloween into JesusWeen or World Evangelism Day, Pastor Paul Ade and his co-horts are recruiting folks to hand out Bibles and other religious paraphernalia to unsuspecting kids on October 31 instead of candy. They say the holiday is un-Christian and inappropriate, blah, blah, blabbity, blah, blah. And so to make us all have a come to Jesus moment, they will be ruining our kids' holiday.
Come on guys, can't you pick on someone your own size? Like the kids' parents maybe? I don't hand out copies of And Tango Makes Three to the kids of homophobes ... because it's not the time or the place for a political/spiritual debate. It's a community celebration!
I understand that it is the right of a homeowner to hand out whatever they want on Halloween. I get that. I am handing out baggies of goldfish this year because they're "treats" but they're not the kind that will hang around my house for weeks after the holiday threatening to add three pounds to my butt. So if you're looking for M&Ms, steer clear of the Sager household!
But what I've always loved best about Halloween -- at least as it rates on the holiday scale -- is that it's one time of year when people truly act like a community. Neighbors don't begrudge spending a little money on treats to put a smile on the face of the kid down the block. Parents get to say "hello" to neighbors they don't get to see as much as they'd like now that their kids' social schedules keep them busy.
Sticking to neutral tokens, be it Snickers or pretzels, is a nod to being part of a community. And if you're uncomfortable with the tradition, the kickass part of being an American is that no one is forcing you to partake of the candy action. My (Catholic) cousin married into a family that believes celebrating Halloween is sacrilegious. His in-laws happen to live smack dab in the middle of the trick or treating neighborhood of all trick or treating neighborhoods, and they've made it work for decades by turning off their porch light and not going to the door if someone rings. I respect them for their decision in part because it shows they're respectful of mine.
There is a time and place for religious debate among consenting adults. Co-opting a secular holiday aimed at children and tricking the kids is creepier than a 5-year-old in a Snooki costume.
Are you celebrating Halloween or JesusWeen?
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