It's something parents all over the world have dreamed of doing, and it's landed a father of an autistic child behind bars. Cops in northern California say Burnis Hurd, 44, boarded a school bus and beat up an 11-year-old child. Cruel? Yes, but this wasn't just any 11-year-old.
The kid this dad is accused of attacking just so happens to be the child accused of bullying Hurd's 9-year-old autistic son. See what we mean about "something parents dream about doing"?
Sadly, this is where dreams meet reality.
Burnis Hurd is in jail on $50,000 bond.
Not such a nice dream for dad or kid, huh?
Yes, folks, it's normal to indulge in a little fantasy about kicking sand in the face of that jerk who did the same to your tot on the playground. It's normal to think "what that kid needs is a knuckle sandwich" when you see the snot-nosed brat who has been making your darling's life hell.
It is not, however, normal to carry out those fantasies. Nor is it good for your kids.
Think it's traumatizing for a child to be bullied? Try seeing Mom or Dad carted off to jail. That can turn a child's life upside down.
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And that's true even when they aren't already suffering from the trauma of being a bully's victim. When they have that added stress, kids need their parents' love and support even more. They need us there -- emotionally, mentally, and physically.
Beating up your child's bully may feel like it's a way to fix your kid's problems, but in truth, it's about you. It's about you feeling helpless and you acting out. It does nothing for your kid in the long run.
It doesn't teach them good coping skills. It doesn't teach them the importance of being the bigger person. It doesn't teach them how to go through the proper channels for help in a bad situation. And, on top of it all, it takes you away from them at a time when they need you desperately.
Do we all feel for Burnis Hurd? Does a part of us want to cheer for him? Of course. But the other part of us should recognize that this dad's alleged actions are only going to hurt his family in the long run.
Our kids need us to focus on their needs, not our own.
And our kids don't need their bullies' butts kicked. They need parents who can advocate for them and get real justice, parents who can cuddle them at night and tell them everything will be all right.
Have you ever been tempted to go after your child's bully? What did you do instead?
Image via Feans/Flickr