Most parents dread their kid going through a hitting phase. It has the potential to make them persona non grata in the playgroup and push their number to the top of the teacher's speed dial. That day came in our house, and I realized I had at least something to be thankful for. We had never used spanking as a form of discipline in our house.
Oh, I've heard my counterparts who practice corporal punishment tell me it doesn't matter. You're the parent, you are therefore allowed to tell your kids to do as I say, not as I do. So far they haven't believed me, the adult, that it makes absolutely no sense to tell a kid not to hit when you hit them.
But have I got an answer for them! His name is Hugh, and he's just a little boy. A little boy who happens to have spilled some truths about disciplining children from the eyes of a child ... right on YouTube. Take a look:
See this video on The Stir by CafeMom.
Did you hear that? "If you spank others, the person that you spank can spank you back." How ... logical! And coming from a kid who is supposedly at the age when you don't think these things through, you just listen to your parents!
I've heard plenty of arguments from pro-spanking parents over the years, from the old standard "do as I say but not as I do" to the parents who tell me that this just goes up there on the list of things that are "OK for adults, but not kids" (because somehow hitting someone is now equitable with drinking a beer yourself?). But little Hugh jams up their arguments quite successfully, doesn't he? Because he presents an answer so simple it's hard to argue with his thinking.
That's the rub, isn't it? We want our kids to think about THEIR actions so that we don't have to discipline them. But when we actually discipline them, we tell them to do the opposite: don't think, just accept! And then comes the day when your kid becomes the hitter.
Having been there, done that, and survived the egg-shaped lump on the forehead to prove it, take it from me: when your kid hits you, it's a heckuva lot easier to tell her it's not appropriate when you haven't hit her.
How do you explain hitting to your kids?
Image via Rainbird Video/YouTube