Did you wake up this morning with an ominous feeling? Like you had something you really needed to get done, but you couldn't remember what it was? Time to get on it folks. Today marks exactly one year until December 21, 2012, aka the day the world will end.
At least, that's the last day on the Mayan Long Count Calendar, which was created a gazillion years ago. People say that means the apocalypse cometh. Personally I think the Mayans just got bored with charting out a path for a time when they knew they'd be dead. But who wants to take the chance? It is time to finally tackle that bucket list!
Not sure where to start? Here's a handy look at the 12 must-dos before December 21, 2012:
1. Do Something Kate Middleton Hasn't: I feel like we need flashing signs on the freeways that scream "Our ancestors fought from our freedom from the tyranny of British royal rule, try to appreciate it!"
2. Pay Off Someone's Layaway Account: Of all the trends of 2011 -- eating roadkill, flash mobs -- the people popping up to give someone less fortunate a big smile is the one that leaves me feeling happiest. If we're really going to go out, shouldn't we do it in a blaze of glory?
3. Learn the Word of the Year Plus Five More: Because you just never know if you and Alec Baldwin are going to be the last two people on earth after the apocalypse, and you'll want to be able to whip his sorry butt at Words With Friends, won't you?
4. Make Your Own 'It Gets Better' Video: Everyone and the president have turned out to help gay kids feel a little less helpless about their futures. What are you waiting for? Is it really such a bad thing to share a little of your past shame to give some kids some happiness during their last few days on earth?
5. Find a Republican Candidate Who Isn't Bonkers: Do you really want to be voting for the lesser of two evils the last time you cast your ballot?
6. Finish Your Facebook Timeline: How do you want to be remembered? This could be your best chance to map it out. Plus, good news: you don't need any of those fancy scrapbooking scissors for this one!
7. Follow the CDC Directives for Zombie Apocalypse Protection: If the US government says it can happen ...
8. Go Black Friday Shopping: If you have never done it, it is totally worth spending your last Thanksgiving evening on earth camped out on cold pavement watching some crazy folks trying to get that $200 TV. Feel free to leave your wallet at home; all this requires is popcorn and the willingness to give up on your need for personal space for a few hours.
9. Experience an Earthquake: So the West Coasters laughed their butts off at us East Coasters over the summer when we felt an itty bitty rumble. At least we felt something! Shouldn't you?
10. Go Topless in NYC: Because this year we learned you CAN!
11. Trademark Your Name: Everybody's doing it! Sarah Palin, creepy people trying to profit off of Casey Anthony ... do you know what they'll do with your name after you're gone?
12. Protest the Westboro Baptist Church: Shouldn't they know what it's like to be on the other side of an insane mob of people with no purpose other than causing trouble? It's gonna be a par-tay!
Are you ready for the world to end in 2012? What's on your End of the World Bucket List?
Image via Keith Williamson/Flickr