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I have strung words together for The New York Times, Vice, and more. I write and shoot people (with a camera, you guys) from my home in upst...

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    Post by Jeanne Sager
    Quiz time! You're a lifeguard and you see a man drowning. Would you save his life? What if it was going to get you fired from your lifeguarding gig? If you're thinking that's one of the dumbest questions you've ever heard, heads up: Tomas Lopez says that is exactly what happened to him. On Monday, the lifeguard, well, former lifeguard saved a man who is now in critical condition in a Florida hospital. And now Lopez is out of a job.

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    Post by Jeanne Sager
    What's scarier than teenagers having sex? Teenagers having sex after they've gotten a look at 1flesh, an ad campaign masquerading as a source for information on birth control that could earn you the name 'Grandma' in just nine months. Be afraid, moms and dads, be very, very afraid. I stumbled on the project put together by a bunch of college kids who claim "we want sexy back" via Jezebel, where blogger Katie J.M. Baker points out the anti-contraception group is "rife with misinformation that we could pick apart for hours if we didn't have better things to do with our time." I see her point -- the site is so bogged down with mis-information about sex that I hardly know where to begin.

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    Post by Jeanne Sager
    The way police are describing the conditions in a home where they found 19 kids living alone this week make me want to cry. Kentucky authorities say the home where the kids were alone for a week had dog feces an inch thick on the floor of one room. The youngest child was 8 months, the oldest only 14 years old. And to top it off? The area was going through a heat wave, but the kids had no air conditioning. How much worse could it get for these poor kids? Wait, don't answer that. The reports out of Kentucky are already pushing me to my limit.

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    Post by Jeanne Sager
    Get ready for a crazy rumor about one of the stars of the reality show Teen Mom that will actually make you respect them a little bit more. Someone is telling the tabloids that Amber Portwood's on-again-off-again boyfriend Gary Shirley is using food stamps to fill his fridge with junk food. His response? He's not on food stamps, but he doesn't think there's any shame for people who are. I can't believe I'm about to say this, but Gary is absolutely right. And I'm going to double down: it's time to kill the "food stamps = junk food" myth.

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    Post by Jeanne Sager
    There are times when I have myself convinced that I am raising a normal, well-adjusted child. And then I walk into her playroom, and the bizarro things she's done with her toys reminds me she's anything but normal ... and that's OK, because it makes life much more interesting. Remember that wacky boat scene in the original Willy Wonka movie -- the good one with Gene Wilder, not the creepy one where Johnny Depp seems to be channeling a pedophile? -- that's what it's like walking into the space where a kid plays sometimes. It's this other, trippy world where stuffed animals are discovered coated in Vaseline and the floor is littered with little rubber wheels which have all been removed from plastic cars.

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    Post by Jeanne Sager
    How's this for a name you haven't heard in awhile and probably never wanted to again? Scott Peterson is appealing the death sentence he received in 2005 after being convicted of murdering wife Laci Peterson. According to his blog (yes, a man on death row has a blog -- ain't America grand?), this is a "big part" of trying to get Peterson's conviction overturned. Wow, Scott Peterson claims he's innocent and he doesn't want to die. He sounds ... just like every other person sitting on death row in America! Think he'll find much more sympathy over his plight now than he did during his 2004 trial? 

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    Post by Jeanne Sager
    The minute news broke that Katie Holmes had filed for divorce from Tom Cruise, the questions about Suri followed. It's only natural. She's only 6. But it makes the uncertain future for Connor Cruise and Bella Cruise that much sadder, doesn't it? Tom's teenage children from his marriage to Nicole Kidman don't spend much time in the spotlight, but mentions of the kids have come most from Katie in recent years. She seemed like a stepmom who truly enjoyed her stepkids, and they her. Now they're caught up in the middle of divorce, yet again, and all anyone wants to talk about, including Katie it seems, is their baby sister.

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    Post by Jeanne Sager
    Still thinking of bath salts as the punchline to a zombie joke? Here's one that will stop you in your tracks: police in Altoona, Pennsylvania say the latest bath salts tripping addict to get hauled into the big house came straight from the maternity ward of the local hospital. The new mother had given birth just two days before! The allegations of a mom smoking bath salts are a sobering reminder that for all the tittering we've done about the zombie apocalypse, we have a drug on our hands that seems to be both highly addictive and highly destructive. Imagine smoking bath salts when you're still in a hospital. After you just gave birth!

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    Post by Jeanne Sager
    You've seen Teen Mom star Farrah Abraham on the TV in your living room. Are you ready to have Farrah Abraham in your kitchen cabinets? The reality star and culinary school graduate thinks she's come up with the recipe to make her addition to the grocery shelves get gobbled up instead of ending up on the "discontinued" aisle. She's got a deal with a mid-western grocery store to get her tomato sauce on shelves and step one is complete: she was busy taking pictures on the sauce production line yesterday, along with her "pepper princess" Sophia of course. But what's setting Mom & Me apart?

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    Post by Jeanne Sager
    When a baby is born, it's hard not to make them the focus of your entire life. They just need so much! But science has served up yet another warning for Moms who are tempted to fall into the "my kid is my everything" trap. It's going to ruin your life! What? You were expecting the standard "helicopter parents" suck line that you're screwing up your kid by making them a self-absorbed prat who is afraid to do anything on their own (cough, I agree, cough, cough)? Yeah, that's what the researchers at the University of Mary Washington probably realized too -- and they probably realized no one was listening. So they turned the tables. Listen up, y'all ... you still have a chance to save yourselves!

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    Post by Jeanne Sager
    Tell me if you've heard this one: "Mom, I've gotta do a project for school! Oh yeah, and it's due tomorrow." Been there, done that ... even if we did use crazy glue because we were out of the real stuff! I have learned from talking to other moms that those of us who find out about the school project the night before its due are the lucky ones -- at least we have a night to try to come up with poster board, pipe cleaners, and 15 reasons Abraham Lincoln was the best president. The real trick is getting a school project done in just a few minutes on one crazy morning. And as two men discovered in the latest edition of Mom Vs. Man, it's no mean feat. Behold two men trying to earn free drinks and best the moms who can make a school project in 2 minutes flat:

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    Post by Jeanne Sager
    Folks, I have a very important question for you. When is the last time you sat down and ate a cookie? How about a candy bar? If it has been any longer than, oh, I don't know, a week, have I got the fix for you! Butterfinger cookies, my friends, are the best of both world. They bring you all the down home comfort of a fresh-out-of-the oven cookie just like you used to eat as a kid with the sweet candy treat that, come to think of it, you used to eat as a kid! The butterfinger and cookie combo kind of makes this dessert a trip down memory lane, doesn't it? You know you want some! Here's the recipe:

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    Post by Jeanne Sager
    How's this for sick and sad? Police in New York City say a mom, who also happens to be an elementary school teacher, poisoned her own kids because she was mad at her husband for cheating. The kids are now dead, and Lissette Bamenga had to be rushed to the hospital after an alleged suicide attempt. In fact, the only one not physically hurt in the whole horrific ordeal was Trevor Noel, the father and alleged cheating spouse! Don't get me wrong, the NYPD officer and dad of 5-year-old Trevor Jr. and 4-month-old Liliane is sure to be in extreme emotional distress right now over the loss of his children. My heart breaks for him. I just can't help thinking how this SHOULD have gone down, how these two kids should be here today.

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    Post by Jeanne Sager
    I couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 the first time I saw the classic Lady and the Tramp, but when that rat scuttled into the baby's room, I wanted to go through the ceiling. I had pretty much the same reaction over the ball python found wrapped around an Illinois baby's foot last week. It's part "OMG, that poor baby," and part "OMG, icky, icky, icky, OMG," that goes through my head. I am a country girl. I am used to wild and wacky animals. But put them near a little kid, and I start hyperventilating. So I was impressed, to say the least, with how William Winans' parents handled the dangerous snake in their son's bed.

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    Post by Jeanne Sager
    So, your kid has heard about Fifty Shades of Grey, and they've been pestering you for weeks about reading it, huh? Your answer is entirely up to you. But here's a little trick that could get you a little more time to think about it ... and get them some education too. Hand them a copy of Between Shades of Gray instead. Then stand back and let literacy work its magic. So what is this? Another novel in the E.L. James canon about sexy billionaire Christian Grey and submissive Anastasia Steele? It certainly sound like it, doesn't it? But nope, this is something even better.

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    Post by Jeanne Sager
    It always seems like the guys get the lion's share of luck in the bedroom, doesn't it? They don't have to worry about getting pregnant. They don't have to worry about clitoral vs. vaginal orgasms. The list goes on. But ladies, sing it loud, we have got some good news! Turns out the research reveals that womankind owns the title of top volume in between the sheets. That's right, women are louder during sex than men -- some 94 percent of ladies admit it, and 70 percent of men agree.

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    Post by Jeanne Sager
    Ever have one of those days when your kid is annoying the pants off of you, and you wonder who made off with your sweet child and left this pain in the butt in her place? Sometimes it seems like their personalities change overnight. And for Zoe Rain Bernstein, that is almost literally what happened ... with a little help from a car accident. The 6-year-old was in a booster seat when her dad crashed his truck, but she bore the brunt of the accident. When Zoe woke up from a month-long coma, her mom Kelsie said she was a different person. Her personality had changed completely.

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    Post by Jeanne Sager
    If there's one thing Americans love, it's a good revenge story. And the way a Marine went about getting revenge on the guy who allegedly raped his girlfriend is more than good. It's the kind of story everyone needs to store somewhere in their brain for the next time they feel like they need to get a little retribution from someone who has done them wrong. Why? Simple: this boyfriend didn't go off half-cocked. He didn't decide to be a vigilante. He exacted revenge with class (of course he did! He's a Marine!). So here's the deal:

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    Post by Jeanne Sager
    Poor Jenelle Evans. The Teen Mom 2 star is mad with a capital M this week. It seems people heard she had to go to court twice this week, and they automatically assumed she was going to answer charges against her. How dare they! I mean, she's only been arrested at least, what, seven times? But simmer down now, folks, Jenelle is going to set us straight.

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    Post by Jeanne Sager
    Airport screening officials must have had the shock of their lives when they sent a mother's handbag through the x-ray machine the other day. The scanner showed a 5-month-old baby boy! Let me repeat this so it will sink in: someone actually thought it was a good idea to put an infant in a purse and send him through airport scanners. Folks, Paris Hilton carries her dog in a handbag. You do NOT, under any circumstances, put a baby in one! And yet, that's what airport officials say an Egyptian man and his wife did in order to smuggle their baby.

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