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I have strung words together for The New York Times, Vice, and more. I write and shoot people (with a camera, you guys) from my home in upst...

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    Post by Jeanne Sager
    America, we have a new hero. ...

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    Post by Jeanne Sager
    Prepare to feel conflicted. ...

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    Post by Jeanne Sager
    Just when I thought all this zombie apocalypse mess had finally calmed down, it happened. ...

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    Imagine, if you will, a 5-month-old baby that can stand up on its own two feet. No, not just stand. The 5-month-old can balance, on its own feet, on his Dad's hand, held high above the ground. Would you clap or would you cry in terror? Not sure? Then behold the amazing Leopold, 24 pounds of absolute adorable roly poly baby chunk, who was caught on video by his fun-loving parents doing his future circus act. It's so incredible that even his mom can be heard off-camera saying, "It's not even real." But it is! You have to check this little guy out:

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    Post by Jeanne Sager
    So, you think your kid's high school is progressive? Do they have a Planned Parenthood clinic right on campus? Didn't think so. But Roosevelt High School in Los Angeles does. Not only that, but the health clinic, which is offered through a partnership between the school district and Planned Parenthood, has been in service for several years, legally providing kids with everything from birth control to physicals. And get this: complaints from parents are rare. RARE. It seems those parents have figured out the secret to all this teen sex stuff.

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    Salty sailors and cursing cads would do well to avoid Middleborough, Massachusetts from here on out. It's that or pack their wallets with $20 bills. That's now the price people who swear in public in the small town near Boston will have to pay. Puts a whole new twist on the cuss jar, doesn't it? The town ban on public profanity has actually been in existence since the late '60s, but it just became a lightning rod for free speech debate thanks to an addition of an actual fine for dropping an F-bomb on the street. But all the Mass-holes ready to go to blows over their right to blaspheme are forgetting something.

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    Post by Jeanne Sager
    Do you remember when shopping for kids was easy? Back when the main criteria for making a purchase were price and cuteness factor? Oh, those were the days ... before everything was so loaded down with toxic chemicals that buying a bottle of stuff to untangle your 6-year-old's mane requires a dictionary to decipher the ingredient list. Most of the time that means buying something that "looks" like it should be OK. But how do you know if that new sport bottle really is safe? If that new bottle of "kids" shampoo is going to give them cancer? How about a list of the biggest, baddest toxic nasties that you need to avoid at all costs when you're shopping for your kids?

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    The Ku Klux Klan is at it again. The racist group that's haunted the country for decades, effectively making it seem to folks who don't live in the South that everyone in that section of the country is a bigot, is stirring up controversy. It seems the KKK wants to adopt a highway in Georgia just like any other civic group. You know what I say? Let 'em! Yup, you heard me. It's about time these racist jerks actually did something good for their community.

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    You would think a writer would have an easy time putting together a note for her husband on Father's Day. But how do I put into words exactly what makes the father of my child so incredible to me? Every year I struggle, and I find myself turning not to other writers necessarily, but to men, to dads.  Of course the men who are already there are the ones who know what fatherhood means, and some of the celebrity fathers whose faces are splashed across the magazines have ended up saying it the best. From Brad Pitt commenting on his brood to Gwyneth Paltrow's man Chris Martin dishing on diapers, here are some quotes from guys who really get it:

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    Farrah Abraham had a rocky start on Teen Mom. The single mom of little Sophia was mourning the loss of her childhood and boyfriend both, and at constant odds with mom Debra. But with the fourth and final season of the MTV reality show on tap, the freshly-minted 21-year-old has righted the ship. She's grown up and grown wise. And when The Stir caught up with the girl from Iowa, Farrah had plenty to say about the distance she's putting between herself and her past, not to mention her Teen Mom co-stars. Working on a restaurant and getting her tomato sauce into grocery stores, she doesn't want to be painted with the same brush as some of the other reality stars. Talking frankly about troubled co-star Amber Portwood and the public's perception of her parenting, there's one thing about Farrah that remains unchanged from that caustic kid on 16 & Pregnant: this is a girl who speaks her mind.  

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    Post by Jeanne Sager
    It may be a show about music, but there is no Glee without the New Directions dancing around McKinley High. And after the fiasco that was the dance-ability episode of The Glee Project, the future of those high-powered numbers is looking sort of bleak. These kids can sing, but don't bother telling them to move their feet at the same time. The Oxygen show is supposed to win one of the contestants a spot on Glee. But if the winner can't dance, is there really any point in giving them a spot in the New Directions?

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    Alyson Hanigan has done it again! Another baby girl has "met her mother" ... well, and her father too! The How I Met Your Mother actress gave birth to her second daughter way back on May 23 and managed to do the unimaginable in Hollywood. She and husband Alexis Denisof kept the baby girl a secret for weeks! The news has come out in no small part because Alyson just had to share an Instagram shot of her daughter's adorable fist, and her rep has confirmed the birth. And I'm digging the name they gave their second little sweetie.

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    The debate over whether a father who found a man molesting his 4-year-old daughter and allegedly beat him to death has been raging for days now. And it's time to put it to bed. Cops say the Texas dad will likely not be prosecuted. What's more: he says he wishes it hadn't happened. A grand jury will still debate charges of some kind for the father while police search for family of the deceased before releasing his name. And regardless of their decision, the father who acted out on his daughter's abuser has two things to live with for the rest of his life that I don't wish on anyone.

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    Post by Jeanne Sager
    Remember the bizarre case of the German "forest boy," the English-speaking teenager who walked out of the woods with no knowledge of his origins last fall? It just got weirder. Berlin Police have just released brand new photos of Ray that they're asking international media to spread far and wide. It seems that nine months on, they still have no clue who this kid is. That's not just bizarre. It's heartwrenching.

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    Post by Jeanne Sager
    I don't usually have a physical reaction to a news story. But you don't read that a mom was charged with assault and battery for allegedly punching her 10-year-old daughter in the face and not grab at your own nose, am I right? Literally, I grabbed my nose, folks. The feeling that flooded through me was one of sympathetic pain, but there was something else mixed in there. Shame maybe? Humility?

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    When I heard Michael Jackson's daughter was sitting down for a heart-to-heart with Oprah Winfrey, I prepped the tissues. I knew I'd cry when Paris Jackson opened up about her dad. I just didn't realize I'd be crying tears of rage. According to Paris, her teenage classmates have nothing better to do with their time than bully her. If that doesn't show that there are some severely cruel kids in this world, I don't know what does. Remember, we aren't just talking any kid getting picked on here.

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    It's the question we have all been asking ourselves as we make our way through the Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy. Why? Why are we so obsessed with E.L. James' books? How's this for an answer? You could be devouring every morsel of Christian Grey kink because it makes you feel like a virgin again. Yes, really.

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    Walk into any elementary school classroom today, and the Flag Day celebration will probably look about the same. The kids may have a little song about Old Glory. Maybe they'll use some crayons on a coloring page of the stars and stripes. But here's betting none of them will have quite the in-your-face lesson that the kindergarten class at Live Oak Elementary School got recently thanks to a member of our nation's military. The 5-year-olds were singing about Flag Day when in walked a man who helps keep the nation's symbol flying above our heads: Marine Staff Sgt. Juan Estrada home from Afghanistan to surprise his son Michael. He popped up in the classroom for a tearjerking military homecoming and incredible lesson for elementary schoolers all in one. Check this one out (but grab your tissues first):

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    A mom and dad are in police custody this week after allegedly killing the man pimping out their 17-year-old daughter after tracking him around Southern California. Want to hail Barry Gilton and Lupe Mercado as heroic parents? Not so fast. Whether they actually rid the streets of a pimp or not is still up in the air. Gilton and Mercado's lawyer has indicated the parents will be pleading not guilty to all charges relating to the death of 22-year-old Calvin Sneed. And then there's this nagging truth: 17-year-old girls do not just run away from home and become prostitutes overnight.

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    Post by Jeanne Sager
    Mmm. There's nothing like photos of teenage girls covered in rats and snakes to make you lose your lunch. But as startling as the images used in a new "Baby Can Wait" PSA campaign to discourage statutory rape are, who they're directed at leaves me unimpressed. The ads from the United Way of Greater Milwaukee are trying to scare parents with a warning that older men having sex with their daughters isn't just "creepy." Those rats and snakes are committing statutory rape. Uh. Duh. Pardon the naivete here, but are there really parents who don't know that old dudes need to steer clear of little girls? If so, please, get them a meeting with CPS pronto.

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