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Eliza Kruger Is 17, But Mark Sanchez Is No Perv

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Post by Jeanne Sager

Mark SanchezAnother day, another teenager hooking up with an adult. Only this time, we've got much ado about nothing. Eliza Kruger is a 17-year-old rich girl from New York City who told Deadspin she has allegedly been dating Jets quarterback Mark Sanchez.

Sanchez is 24. Cue the calls for Sanchez's head, the claims that he's a pedophile or worse (is there anything worse?). Yup, they're all coming out of the woodwork to call the head of gang green every name in the book and comparing him to some of the biggest pervs in history and calling him a statutory rapist

Unfortunately -- fortunately? -- they're all wrong. Sanchez is nothing like Stacy Schuler, the teacher accused of having sex with five of her students this school year. He's nothing like Mary Kay Letourneau, the teacher who first made the Van Halen song icky when she got pregnant by her 13-year-old student, then married him.

Why not? Because what Sanchez and Eliza Kruger have been doing -- if allegations prove true -- is 100 percent legal. According to the Deadspin story, Sanchez even made it a point to tell the 17-year-old he'd keep his hands off her until she was 18. Not exactly pervy material there.

But even more importantly, Mark Sanchez -- or the average adult male dating an older teen -- does not hold the same power over a teen as, say, a teacher or a clergyperson, people who are in positions of authority and are abusing them when they have a relationship with a teen in their care.

Let's look at the definition of a pedophile, shall we? According to Dictionary.com, it's:

A person who is sexually attracted to children.

As parents, it's hard to face this, but eventually our teenagers aren't children anymore. State laws vary, but a host of them consider not 18 but 16 or 17 as the "age of consent" for sexual acts, even with a man of Sanchez's age. In the eyes of the law, they're not children. They're adults, legally able to make their own choices in the bedroom.

I'll admit some bias here. My husband is four and a half years older than me. We started dating shortly before my 17th birthday. The age difference was smaller than that between Kruger and Sanchez, but not by much. I was also a high school graduate, and my parents' hands were tied. I was legally allowed to call the shots, and hindsight offers me the ability to say it worked. We later settled down, married, bought a house, had a kid.

We expect our kids to make adult choices all the time. These days many kids enter college at 17. They leave home. They're acting as adults. But we remain terrified of them making their own sexual choices. Sure, parents should worry when an older man starts paying attention to their teen daughter. Why can't he pick someone his own age, is he taking advantage of her inexperience? It's good parenting to care and to say something.

But the law has spoken. Teens need to shed us at some point. Choosing their own sexual partners is part of that waltz into independence. The key is whether they're choosing them or being forced to choose. With a teacher, it's clear "free will" is out the window. But in the case of Eliza Kruger and Mark Sanchez, it's a case of a 17-year-old legally doing what she wants with a sexy older guy. It really is her problem, not the world's.

Do you think Sanchez is a perv?

 

Image via Seamus Murray/Flickr


Toy Gun Bans Today, Chopping Kids' Fingers Off Tomorrow?

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Post by Jeanne Sager

toy gunI hold a special place in my heart for lawmakers who step in to do a parent's job. They're so cute! And by cute I mean like a stupid puppy chasing its own tail round and round. Not doing much of anything, but really, it's worth a laugh.

That's how I feel about Hawaii lawmakers who are trying to enact a ban on toy gun sales to anyone under the age of 18. The way they see it, this will end all those annoying toy guns brought into schools, disrupting classes, encouraging violence, and resulting in kids suspended from instruction time. Heck, while they're shooting for the moon, they might as well bet it will affect peace on earth and goodwill to men.

At its heart, the law is aimed at making the toy guns comparable to cigarettes and alcohol. If a kid can't buy them, they'll be less likely to use them. To which I say, how cute of you for thinking that!

Let's start from the beginning, oh lawmakers, and we'll use little words so you can understand this. Most little kids don't have their own money. So the people who are currently buying the toy guns? The ones that are being brought into your schools? Will still be the ones buying them after this ban goes into place.

And if the kids do have money, it's a parent's responsibility to track that money, keeping them from buying something like a toy gun -- or at the very least having a talk with their child about where and when the gun is appropriate for use. And here's where I'm willing to go out on a very big, solid limb. If a parent is lazy enough not to pay one wit of attention to what their little kid is buying (we're talking little kids, not teenagers here), they're probably the same sort of parent who says, "What, you want a realistic-looking toy gun and you want to bring it to school? SURE, I'll buy it for you!"

Now let's suppose you have good, solid, caring parents, who pay attention to what their kids are doing and forbid gun play, or at least forbid their child from taking their toy guns to school. You still have two problems: the little kid who just really wanted to show off their new toy and brought it anyway because kids are actually pretty darn innocent when it comes to this stuff, and the kid who leaves it home and ends up playing cops and robbers on the playground with his buds anyway. Only he uses his fingers instead of a toy gun.

Yes, lawmakers, you have just discovered what parents have known for years. Kids like gun play. And we, as parents, can discuss it until we're blue in the face and lay down all the laws we want, but as long as kids are born with a thumb and an index finger, there will be gun play. Scientists even say it's good for them.

Do you see a point to this proposal? What should lawmakers be doing instead?

 

Image via wwworks/Flickr

Sorry Ray Allen, Reggie Miller Will Still Be 3 Point King

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Post by Jeanne Sager

ray allen reggie millerBasketball fans are atwitter about Ray Allen today, and rightly so. The Celtics guard is almost guaranteed to take the all-time three-point record away from Reggie Miller tonight in the midst of the game's greatest rivalry -- Celtics-Lakers. The rest of the world of sports might as well shut down tonight; the TD Garden is the place to be.

But come on world, can't Reggie get some love today? The guy's about to say bye bye to a 2,560 three-point record that embodied his 18 years in the NBA. He was the three-point man for a generation, and now the retired Pacer is handing over the crown to Allen, a guy nearing the end of his career but with enough room left in his Celtics contract to keep adding treys, leaving Miller in the dust.

And Reggie is taking it all in and rolling out the class. On Twitter, Miller has been shouting out his love for Allen all week:

For all my followers and Ray Allen's followers, I can't wait to be in the building Thurs evening, Lakers vs C's, as history is made.

In the house to see history being made, should be a great atmosphere! Go Ray Go!!! #rayreggie3pointking

Set to call the game in Boston for TNT tonight, Miller is actually hoping Allen will make the six three-pointers to catapult him from 2,555 to 2,651 and the record books. Maybe it's all a front. Maybe his cameos in movies like Forget Paris and TV shows like Hangin' With Mr. Cooper made him a better actor than basketball player.

I don't think so. I think Miller remains one of the most positive forces in the NBA today, and not just because I hold a special place in my heart for a star who works with children's literacy programs (he's a national spokesman for Reading Is Fundamental). He's a genuine guy. A guy who once used the three-pointers that are his legacy to raise money for the American Red Cross Disaster Relief Fund, donating $1,000 for every shot he made in a season (for a total of more than $200,000). A guy whose record has him on the short list for the Hall of Fame this year. This is a record he truly cares about, but he cares about the game even more.  

And as much as I love Ray Allen (go Celtics!), I'm going to be keeping my eyes on Reggie tonight. What about you?

 

Image via Getty Images/Jonathan Daniel/Stringer

SAT Scores of Celebrities: Our Kids Can't Compare

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Post by Jeanne Sager

taking testDo you remember the day the College Board released SAT scores, and your high school erupted in a contest of who did better? Even if you tried to remain tight-lipped about your score, it didn't matter. It got out, and you were either slapped on the back or picked on. And if you did extremely well, people were nice to your face and then talked about you behind your back.

And that was all before the Internet! Today's kids have not just their peers to compare themselves to, but an entire world's worth of celebrities whose SAT scores can be brought up with a few keystrokes on Google. Bill Gates got a 1590 (on the old "1600" system)! Ben Stein got a 1573! And so today, as the College Board once again releases the big numbers, parents need to keep their kids off the 'net. It's no good for their psyches.

I've never been crazy about the SATs for this reason. They become a comparison tool, a means for kids to one-up another, when they mean so little in the long run.

I was that kid who tried to remain tight-lipped about her score. I had a decent showing (decent enough that whenever I did something stupid, my dad used to give me a look and say, "X number on your SATs, huh?" like he couldn't believe I was being such a dolt. It sounds worse than it was -- he was just goofing around). But I was an over-achiever raised in a family where there was emphasis put on test scores and grades.

Raised in the old "1600" system, it sat in the back of my mind in my high school days that my cousin had achieved a near perfect score in her days. I wasn't striving to get into college when I sat down in a classroom at a neighboring high school with my No. 2 pencil. I was striving to kick A.'s ass. I didn't, by the way. About the only thing I did beat her on was giving birth first (her daughter came 11 days later!).

There was no celebrity SAT score list on Google to pull up, but A. was my celebrity, the one I emulated and vowed to beat. And it's only with hindsight that I can recognize I was the only horse in the race. A. had long since graduated from high school and moved on to college. Her life wasn't defined by her SAT score. Even if it played a small role in getting her into college, there was a lot more to her than that 15-whatever. 

I remember my SAT score because it was a family joke, but today it says absolutely nothing about my life. It didn't buy my house, land me my job, make my husband fall in love with me, or help me get through labor. A. and I are now, for all intents and purposes, equal. We're just two moms doing the best we can for our kids, two moms who have created the next generation of geniuses for our family tree.

The celebrity SAT scores being pulled up on Google today don't represent the people who scored them. So Courteney Cox got an 1150 -- it didn't get her a role on Friends. So George W. Bush got a 1206 -- it didn't get him votes. Congratulate your kids on their accomplishments today, but please remind them it's not a competition.

Do your kids look at the SATs as a competition?

 

Image via Casey Serin/Flickr

Eliza Kruger Pictures Gone Viral: Who's the Perv Now?

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Post by Jeanne Sager

Mark SanchezWhat a difference a day makes. Yesterday Jets quarterback Mark Sanchez was being called a perv for allegedly macking it with Eliza Kruger, the 17-year-old daughter of a hedge fund manager from New York City. Today, demands for Eliza Kruger pictures are one of the hottest Internet search trends.

Who's the perv now, oh Internet? Sanchez has done nothing wrong -- New York and New Jersey law both give the 24-year-old leave to date a 17-year-old based on the age of consent. But the same doesn't apply to sexy pictures of Kruger that might show up on the Internet.

If she's dressed, it's fine. Let's hope for everyone's sake, but most of all hers, that she is. She's put way too much of her own information out there, thanks to the interview with Deadspin that started this whole scandal, but she's still a human being who deserves some dignity. And let's hope that's what people concerned with this sex scandal are looking for.

But go looking for proof of Mark Sanchez and Eliza Kruger in flagrante delicto, and you're more than just a perv. You're a pedophile. If you want to see lascivious pictures of Eliza Kruger, you're committing a crime under federal law. Whether she's legally allowed to have sex or not, at 17 she falls under the federal child pornography statute regardless of who took the photos (yes, even if she took them of herself to send to Marky boy). That includes any picture that:

Depicts a minor engaging in sexually explicit conduct and is obscene, or depicts an image that is, or appears to be, of a minor engaging in graphic bestiality, sadistic or masochistic abuse, or sexual intercourse, including genital-genital, oral-genital, anal-genital, or oral-anal, whether between persons of the same or opposite sex and such depiction lacks serious literary, artistic, political, or scientific value.

Something tells me trying to find a football player's girlfriend online doesn't count as "serious literary, artistic, political, or scientific value." Even if you stumble on those by accident, you could be looking at serious jail time.

And even if you're just looking for her face, legal photos that anyone can see, you have to ask yourself what's with the prurient curiosity about a 17-year-old nobody linked to a sex scandal? If this were a 17-year-old girl from your neighborhood, would you be checking her out to see if she's a hottie with a body? Or would that be kind of ... pervy?

What do you think? Still want to find Eliza Kruger pictures? Or are you off the case?


Image via Seamus Murray/Flickr

'Grey's Anatomy' Recap: Making a Case for Pro-Choice

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Post by Jeanne Sager

Grey's AnatomyGrey's Anatomy has gone pro-choice. Oh, don't get your panties in a bunch. There's more to being pro-choice than abortion.

It's about making decisions for your body, and who better than the doctors at Seattle Grace/Mercy West to have to decide sometimes the body wants what the body wants? It's a show about surgeons. And what do surgeons like to do? Take control.

But in an episode that was surprisingly subtle (for Grey's Anatomy anyway), Shonda Rimes and the writers made the case for self-determination one overbearing doctor at a time. A few cases in point:

Chief Webber has pulled up Ellis Grey's old writings, and he has a great idea. Take her work on diabetes care and put together a clinical trial to keep her legacy alive. And the way he sees it, Meredith Grey will want to proceed with her mother's life's work. Except Meredith is busy with Derek's Alzheimer's trial, a trial that will honor her mother's later years and perhaps protect her from sharing Ellis' fate. Enter the crossroads. Should Meredith pull out of the Alzheimer's trial because her mother left another project open? Should she have to do her mother's work simply because she's her mother's daughter? Score one for choice, Meredith doesn't take the Chief's bait. She's sticking with Alzheimer's; he can have diabetes. Callie Torres is pregnant. And she's got not only her partner, Arizona Robbins, on her case, but the baby's daddy, Mark Sloane. The two have ganged up to determine what Callie can and can't do and can and can't eat, right down to making her gross green smoothies in the morning and trying to take away her one cup of caffeine. Score another one for choice: Callie is going to have her one cup of caffeine, thank you very much, and she's going to take this little threesome and make it a fivesome. Mark and Arizona get a vote. But so does she, the baby, and her vagina ... which is about to push out a baby. Since she's got the baby and the vagina votes, she holds the cards. Little Grey's got some serious problems. First there's Sloane, who got Callie pregnant just as they were getting their relationship back on track. Now there's her dad, Thatcher Grey, who is suddenly back in the hospital, with a "tatted up skank" who is just about Lexie's age on his arm. And now Little Grey's got to bear the burden of holding up the entire basis of the episode. She's pissed because she isn't being given a choice (Sloane), and she's taking it out on dear old Dad for choosing a girlfriend without her approval. Score another one for choice: Meredith tells her to get over herself. She cries on Avery's shoulder, and she forgives her dad. Thatcher is free to choose who he loves. And now for a little actual medicine. A teen (young adult?) has been rushed into the hospital with massive broken bones because he had the genius idea to build a human slingshot and climb in. Oh yeah, and his buddy, who was taping the whole thing (on an absurdly old video camera), has followed him into the hospital to catch the aftermath to post on the Internet. Only Torres breaks the news that he can't follow him into the operating room to see the real action, prompting the bonehead teen to demand she start resetting his bones right then and there, no anesthesia, no OR. As he told Torres and Hunt, "It's for the art." Score another one for personal choice: If a patient wants to be a bonehead, you let them. She starts setting his bones then and there, until he realizes this probably isn't such a good idea. Takeaway: don't mess with a doctor who hasn't had her caffeine today, every choice has consequences.

Sometimes the "your body, your choice" issue gets so tangled up in abortion rhetoric that the rest of the argument gets lost. When it comes to our bodies, we remain in charge, even when we walk into a hospital and become a "patient." Our emotional health depends on remembering we come first.

Did Grey's do a good job of showing that?

 

Image via ABC

Is a 'Twilight' Valentine's Day Really What Your Teen Deserves?

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Post by Jeanne Sager

twilightForget all the poopy diapers and the birds and the bees talks. With Valentine's Day coming, I've hit upon the true stumbling block of motherhood. Twilight.

Frankly, it's fiction of the fluffiest variety. The kind that leaves your fingers cotton-candy sticky when you're done reading it, so you have to go wash them, but you can't help licking them on the way to the bathroom. It's delicious as a form of escape from the real world of raising kids.

Unfortunately, it's not written for you. It's written for kids. And this is the month when it gets particularly hard to hold it back from your teen daughters. Because while her friends are waltzing around talking about the best love story ever that she "just has to read for Valentine's Day if she ever wants to understand what true love is all about," you know it's a load of poop that only glitters in the sunshine.

Our daughters deserve better than Twilight for Valentine's Day. Unfortunately, at this age, there's no telling them that mother knows best. You're probably not going to be able to protect her from Twilight forever. But if you're ever going to teach your girls to treat Edward and Bella like the fictional characters they are, you are going to have to teach your girls something more important than how to spot a vampire. How to spot a decent love story.

A little help from some new favorites:

Jane by April Lindner. Where better to start than with a classic romance? It's Jane Eyre revisited, only this orphan is nannying for a rock star instead of Mr. Rochester. But the other markers are there: star-crossed romance, finding redemption in another's arms, and of course, figuring out whether it's better to live with someone's imperfections or live without them. Warts and all love -- something we could all use a refresher course in.

Falling in Love With English Boys by Melissa Jensen. Two girls, two centuries, two sexy English boys. In a novel that drifts back and forth between modern American teen Cat's blog posts and 19th-century Katherine's diary, Jensen manages to offer a not-so-subtle reminder of how far women have come in their rights to let their hearts lead their relationships -- rather than society or (worse) their parents. A novel that remains charming rather than preachy, it offers one major thing that Twilight does not: a stamp of approval on self-determination.

The Book of Tomorrow by Cecelia Ahern. It's an odd choice, but bear with me. The movie version of her novel P.S. I Love You secured Ahern a spot on the traditional love story list, and now she's back with a 16-year-old protagonist. Through the eyes of a spoiled teen taken down a few notches when her wealthy dad dies, leaving her penniless, we get a subtle reminder that kids need to be nice to their parents (score!) and a not-so-subtle lesson in picking the right guy.

Anna and the French Kiss by Stephanie Perkins. Light. Fluffy. Set in Paris. Exactly what a teenage romance is supposed to be, it's about friends becoming more than, and it's refreshingly angst-free. Oh, sweet normal teenagehood.

Fixing Delilah by Sarah Ockler. A story that's somewhat predictable -- wild child taken out of the city by mom calms down in small town, yawn -- gives way to the discovery of an old childhood friend grown up to be a stud. Be still my heart. Ockler doesn't deliver the moon, but that's not what she's promising either. She's giving us a regular teen and a regular teenage romance, and that is just what the (love) doctor ordered this Valentine's Day.

Do you dread the "oooh, Edward" phase?

 

Image via Amazon

Disclosure: I received review copies of the above books. All opinions are my own.

Tonya Harding Pregnant: A Case for Delaying Motherhood

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Post by Jeanne Sager

Tonya HardingTonya Harding may finally get her chance to go for gold. The shamed figure skater re-married last summer. Now she's reportedly pregnant with a baby boy, and ready to tackle the Mommy Olympics.

Yes, this is the same Tonya Harding convicted in the '90s of conspiring to have her figure skating rival Nancy Kerrigan clubbed in the knee to take her out of the competition. She's now 40, and -- dare we say it? -- finally a grown-up. Good for her! She made it in the nick of time.

It's hard out there for ladies of "advanced maternal age" to get pregnant. But Tonya has had a particularly hard row to hoe since the Kerrigan clubbing debacle in 1994. First there was her legal trouble resulting from the Kerrigan thing, then she was back in court in 2002 for a DWI, and then there was that nasty Tonya Harding Wedding Night sex tape that made the world shudder.

Waiting to get pregnant -- this boy will be her first child -- may officially be the smartest decision that Harding has ever made. Despite the troubles of getting pregnant after age 35, raising a child in that environment would have been tough on her, but tougher still on a child. She will be a better mom for waiting. 

In fact, Harding's is one of those cases that makes a good argument for delaying pregnancy rather than rushing it along to beat the biological clock. I've heard it said that women are playing with fire by putting off their childbearing years, that they're being selfish to put themselves first. But I commend a woman who knows her limits, who is aware that she just plain isn't ready for motherhood and who doesn't want to subject a child to being raised by a mom who isn't into it. A child needs a mother who is prepared for motherhood. How could it be selfish to be putting a child's needs first?

Now Harding and husband Joseph Jens Price, who was described to reporters as a "real nice, blue-collar type guy" when they wed in a quiet ceremony last summer, have a chance to raise a child quietly, out of the spotlight. Here's hoping this is the golden child she always wanted.

Are you happy to see her pregnant and settled?


Image via bobgo29/Flickr


Women's Basketball Enters 'Pink Zone' to Fight Breast Cancer

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Post by Jeanne Sager

pink zoneIf you tend to pick your favorite teams by the color of their uniforms, you're going to be in trouble this weekend. Women's basketball -- from the college players in the Ivy League to high school ballers in small town America -- is entering the Pink Zone. Every woman on the court at the games played at some 1,800 schools this weekend will be wearing pink uniforms or pink shoelaces in an effort to fight breast cancer.

They'll be raising money through donations, raffles, and ticket sales, money that will go the Kay Yow Cancer Fund, a project of the Women's Basketball Coaches Association (WBCA), named for one of women's basketball's biggest fighters. The ladies are going to show America how to fight like a girl -- by kicking breast cancer's butt through fundraising and awareness.

Yow was the head coach of the women's basketball program at North Carolina State University from 1975 to 2009, and the woman who led the 1998 USA Women's Olympic Team to gold. She boasted four ACC tournament championships with the Wolfpack, earned 20 NCAA tournament bids, and reached the Final Four in 1998.

And in the years between 1987 and 2009, Yow battled breast cancer not once, not twice, but three times, losing the war on January 24, 2009, at 66 years old. The Pink Zone efforts of the WBCA have continued her fight for her in the four years since it got off the ground, raising more than $3.3 million, with one weekend of games every year.

So why am I supporting this after I spent last week telling women that Go Red for Women was a waste of time if they didn't talk to their doctor about heart disease? Simple. Pinkwashing projects are not the disaster that it's been made out to be in the media. When The Stir interviewed Susan G. Komen founder Nancy Brinker last year, she revealed all those pink-ribboned products Americans buy put $55 million in the Komen arsenal. And with this program too, there's actual money being made that will go to an actual cause. In the case of the Kay Yow fund, the monies raised on Pink Zone weekend go to research and grants, valid and important means of fighting breast cancer. It's quantifiable how this will help the cause. 

But even more, I embrace the Pink Zone because of the almost unsettling juxtaposition of a female athlete and a woman battling breast cancer. America's women's basketball players are the definition of vitality. Young, fresh, strong, able to bound up and down the court in a game that requires endurance and strength. They are a reminder that women can do anything ... even beat breast cancer.

Are you ready to enter the Pink Zone? Donate online or by sending a check to:

Kay Yow Cancer Fund
Attn: Megan Smith
PO Box 3369
Cary, NC 27519-3369

You can also show up at a game in your area this weekend with your pink on or watch a Pink Zone game on ESPN.

 

Image via StuSeeger/Flickr

Tina Fey Knows Why She's Got One Child: Do You?

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Post by Jeanne Sager

Tina FeyTina Fey has an only child. And in a New Yorker essay on working motherhood that has been making the rounds of the blogosphere this week, the 30 Rock star gave voice to the one thing the one and done mothers of the world want you to know.

As Tina says: "The second-worst question you can ask a woman is: 'Are you going to have more kids?' This is rude."

Rude because we have thought about this. A lot. Maybe not the way Tina Fey thinks about it. At least, we're not nearly as hilarious (except in the eyes of our solitary child), and we don't worry that taking time off from work for pregnancy will derail a TV show that employs 200 people.

But it's a question that doesn't get asked if you have two kids or more. It's a question reserved for women like Tina Fey, who has one daughter, Alice, 5, and an amazing career doing what she loves. It's a question reserved for women like me, who has one daughter just three months older than Alice, and is quite decidedly done with making babies.

And despite the questions -- nay, the accusations -- thrown at me when I mention this, I'm neither barren (actually, "we" fixed the childbearing situation) nor lazy (again, we acted upon this). I'm not selfish -- in fact, my sole daughter will likely one day wish she had a sibling if only to divert some of the constant attention. Nor am I self-absorbed -- see also lavishing constant attention.

The fact is, when people ask mothers who have just one child if we are going to have another, it's not a question. It's a statement. It's an offer to "help" us silly little women who don't know what a uterus is made for. It's as though they're enlightening us, as though this is something we never considered, and it is their job to bring us up to speed on all that siblings can offer. As though we may not know that.

Tina's ear-nose-and-throat doctor, who she is seeing because of stress-induced canker sores, tells her she needs to have another child because, well, she (the doctor) has two. Which Tina dismisses because she is there in that doctor's office because of a stress-induced ailment. It's an apt reminder that there's little thought to a one and done mom's current life when the question is thrown out there.

Is she financially able to have another child? Is her uterus up to it? Is she, perhaps, stretched to the limit and thinking that anything more will send her tumbling down the precipice? Is she struggling with infertility? Mental illness? Diabetes? You who ask don't have to think about what our lives would be like with another child. Because -- surprising though it may be for you -- we have.

What's most curious about this question isn't that you think we need another child, but why. If you think we're such bad parents in making the decision to stop at one, what about us leaves you thinking we'd be better with two? Wouldn't it be better for the world if we only contributed one screwed-up child to it?  

We've thought out the permutations of having another child in our lives. Have you?

 

Image via nick step/Flickr

Sharm el Sheikh: Mubarak Hits the Ousted Leader Jackpot

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Post by Jeanne Sager

Hosni MubarakHosni Mubarak may be stepping down, but the Egyptian dictator president is still coming out the winner. His "exile" from Cairo is both self-imposed and happening in some plush digs. He'll be putting up his feet in Sharm el-Sheikh, a resort town on the southern tip of the Sinai Peninsula.

It's a town that boasts beautiful beaches, discos, world class hotels, and its own Hard Rock Cafe. So I guess we can add Mubarak to the list of world leaders whose fall from grace was anything but painful, huh? Let's see how Sharm el-Sheikh measures up:

Jean-Claude "Baby Doc" Duvalier, Haitian dictator, fled in 1986.

Exiled to: France Lifestyle: For a time there, quite luxurious. He had a villa in the hills above Cannes, a chateau outside Paris, and two apartments in the city. He later divorced and fell on rough times, but all is rosy for Baby Doc these days; he got a hero's welcome back in Haiti this year.

Napoleon Bonaparte, French emperor.

Exiled to: Elba (the first time), an island off the coast of Italy Lifestyle: Luxe. He had 1,000 "personal" escorts, a household staff, and he was named "emporer" of Elba and given rule over the residents. Exiled to: St. Helena (the second time), an island half the size of Elba off the coast of Africa Lifestyle: Not bad. The Brits who controlled St. Helena kept him and his men plied with food and booze daily, but he was notably cranky as his hosts wouldn't call him "your majesty." Poor little man.

Idi Amin, Ugandan dictator otherwise know as the "Butcher of Uganda," fled in 1979.

Exiled to: Tripoli, Italy, but moved on to Saudi Arabia Lifestyle: Quiet but anything but poor. Amin spent the last 24 years of his life close to home and refusing interviews, but he had a Range Rover, a Chevrolet Caprice, and a powder-blue Cadillac all at his disposal. Relatives kept up a steady supply of his favorite Ugandan foodstuffs.

Slobodan Milosevic, Yugoslavian head of state known as the "Butcher of the Balkans," ousted in 2000.

Exiled to: Russia ... but only members of his family got to enjoy it. He was instead put up on trial in the Hague for his war crimes and died in prison before the trial ended. Lifestyle: Miserable -- befitting his crimes.

Zine al-Abidine Ben Ali, Tunisian president, ousted this year.

Exiled to: Saudi Arabia Lifestyle: Hard to say so far, but his wife, Leila Trabelsi, got out of Tunisia with £35 million worth of gold, and the couple's daughter is holed up in Disneyland Paris. Not too shabby, huh?

Mobutu Sese Seko, Zaire president, fled in 1997.

Exiled to: Morocco Lifestyle: Would have been a lot nicer if he wasn't suffering from prostate cancer. He died that year.

Erich and Margot Honecker, East Germany's head-of-state, and his wife, the education minister, fled in 1991.

Exiled to: Fled to Moscow but were ordered out of the country by Boris Yeltsin. Erich was sent back to Germany stand trial, but Margot moved on to Chile to be with her daughter, and Erich later joined them. Lifestyle: Erich died of cancer in 1994, but Margot has continued to bilk the German government. She allegedly picks up a pension check every month.

So let's add this up. Hosni Mubarak gets to stay in Egypt. He isn't on trial or in prison. He doesn't have cancer.

He may be the winner of the ousted leader pool. What do you think?

 

Image via Muhammad/Flickr

Moms-to-Be Don't Deserve Fun Sex

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Post by Jeanne Sager

bedroomConventional wisdom has it that trying to conceive is supposed to be fun. You get to have sex. Lots and lots of silly, goofy, all over the house sex! It's like the newlywed phase all over again.

Lots of lube. Lots of love. Of course, when you have spent month after month having sex in every room of the house every other day and no baby, it starts to get old (Not there yet? Trust me, it does.). Infertility is not fun.

So what if I told you good sex was part of your problem?

Uh huh, this is a shocker, but here it is. Lube, the salvation of so many marriages it's impossible to count, is bad for his man juice. According to scientists most popular lubricants are "toxic" to sperm, killing the little swimmers' motility. In layman's speak, they just don't swim, meaning they won't move up to meet the egg and make a baby.

And that's not all! Even using a little old-fashioned spit (which, frankly, does nothing anyway), can hurt your baby-making chances. From WebMd: "Personal lubricants, lotions and even saliva can interfere with sperm motility."

This is apparently old news, but not something that's widely known. And when put with new news that found the use of lube gives women higher levels of pleasure and satisfaction, I'll say it outright. It sucks. Essentially the world is telling women that if they want to get pregnant, they have to sacrifice on fun in the bedroom.

How puritanical! How sexist! How depressing! And how counter intuitive.

Although the world has a lot to learn about infertility, there's one thing that scientists have found conclusively: infertility stresses women out. And stressed women have a harder time getting pregnant. It's a Catch 22, but there it is. Now guess what has been conclusively linked to reducing a woman's stress? You guessed it -- good sex. Having sex releases oxytocin and endorphins, the "feel-good" hormones. That's the stuff that lasts past the orgasm and positively affects your whole day (and on into the next morning -- hence that "you had sex" glow that your BFF in the office can see on your face).

So what's a baby hungry sex goddess to do? WebMd suggests trading your lube and your spit for vegetable, safflower or peanut oil. Hey, it's worth a try.

Do you use lube?

 

Image via PlayfulLibrarian/Flickr

Texas Sexting Law Will Punish Parents for Having Dumb Kids

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Post by Jeanne Sager

cell phone It should be good news. A proposed Texas law could finally address the problem of teenagers labeled sexual predators for being dumb kids. Sexting teens will now only be charged with a misdemeanor for a first offense. But that's where the good news ends.

Because Texas now wants to punish parents of teens caught sexting. The parents will have to go through an education program on the evils of taking naughty pictures of yourself and shooting them off to your bestie.

OK, let's get this straight, Texas. You think making the parents go through a course on this is going to put an end to it?

Next we'll send parents of kids who get into a fight on the football field to anger management classes. And that teenager who wrecks his car because he drives like a bonehead? Let's send his Dad to driving school.

Yes, parents need to keep track of their kids. Yes, parents need to teach their kids to be responsible, law-abiding citizens. But we've become a nation where everything a kid does wrong is blamed on his or her parents. Sometimes we have to accept kids will be kids -- and that means kids will make mistakes.

That would seem to be the driving reason behind the whole revamp of the sexting law to begin with, to reflect that kids who sext are being stupid but not necessarily trying to spread child porn or hurt someone. They're generally just experimenting sexually, like most kids do.

Because for every stupid parent out there are a whole hand full who simply can't control everything their kids do every second of the day. We provide guidance, but we also have to let our kids make a certain amount of mistakes on their own in order to learn. And while sexting is a serious issue, it's not a plague sweeping American high schools. Only 4 percent of teens (ages 12 to 17) say they've sent a sexually explicit photo or video via text message. It's pretty clear most American parents know it's wrong, and most American kids do too.

Treating this like a parental issue is naive at best. Getting caught sexting, while incredibly stupid, is one of those mistakes that's a kid's own. By its very nature, sexting is something done by teens far away from their parents' eyes, with a niggling fear in the back of the mind that "Oh, my Mom and Dad probably wouldn't approve of this."

So make up your mind, Texas. Are you reducing the severity of the crime because it's "kids being kids" or is this a problem with poor parenting?

 

Image via KB35/Flickr

Texting in the Delivery Room: Does Birth Really Need to Be Social?

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Post by Jeanne Sager

maternity wardGiving birth is -- without question -- one of life's big adventures. Its outcome is something you want to share with the world. But does the birth experience really have to be social too?

Because if tweeting your birth wasn't enough evidence of America's obsession with social media, now women are texting while giving birth. Literally, lying in an operating room, belly spliced wide open, cell phone in hand.

The way New York Magazine's Tina Cassidy tells it, this isn't a sign of America the self-involved, land of over-sharers. This is a sign of women wanting to bring birth back to the social experience it was in the days when "births mostly happened at home, with expectant mothers surrounded by their sisters-in-god, or ''godsibbs' -- the relatives and neighbors who talked their way through birth and gave us the word gossip."

She builds a compelling case, but it's a tad bit too romantic for my tastes. Birth has become a circus, from the tweeting and texting to the dozens of relatives trying to crowd into the room like Mom is the bearded lady and they need to get a look-see. Getting back to the simple time in a small bedroom with the women of the village is impossible in the day of birth plans women expect to follow to the letter, of women using their entourages not for guidance, but as an army to strong-arm the doctors and nurses into doing her bidding.

The best way to return to simpler times isn't to add people. It's to simplify. My birth was by no means a perfect experience, but there's at least one decision I am glad I made. My husband and I kept the birth to ourselves. It was us, the nurses, and my OB/GYN ... and then, of course, our daughter. My father came to the hospital a few hours after the birth, but at the moment she came into the world, we could both focus on her.

There was no need for my husband to rush out of the delivery room to update a room full of people, no one fighting to hold our baby before us, no one weighing in on how they thought I should be laboring. This was the moment we forged our new family. It was only fitting that the people there were the members of that new family, and only those members.

There is scientific evidence to support this approach -- proponents of the baby-friendly hospital initiative will tell you visitors should be kept away in the few hours immediately following birth to allow a mom to get skin-to-skin with baby rather than the child being passed around. It's also a chance for a new mom to attempt breastfeeding without the stress of being watched or coached.

I won't discredit the usefulness of a doula or a grandma in the room. Different strokes and all that. One extra person does not a circus make. But birth is really about three people. Mom, Dad, and baby. All the rest of those folks can wait a few hours, can't they?

Do you think birth should be a social experience?

 

Image via norfolkdistrict/Flickr

'Twilight' Fan Makes Boyfriend Bite Like Edward

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Post by Jeanne Sager

bite marksIn case you needed more proof that Twilight makes our kids batty, here you go. A teenage girl in Florida is in trouble with the law after she filed a police report claiming bite marks on her neck came from an unknown attacker while she was out jogging. The real "vampire" was her 19-year-old boyfriend.

Turns out the 15-year-old (whose name seems to be withheld because she's a minor) didn't know how to explain the teeth imprints all over her bod to her parents. So she concocted the whole jogger attack to throw them off track. And to think our generation just threw on a long-sleeve shirt with a turtleneck and called it a day.

Then again, our generation only had some unsightly hickies to contend with. Now we have the biting trend among the teen set. And I have to say it. I'm all for kids letting their freak flags fly and having some personality. I'm also a big fan of kids releasing a little sexual tension without engaging in actual sex -- no teen pregnancy here!

But this one has to end. Now. Please, Twilight fans! Hickies are every generation's cross to bear for their ... well, uselessness? But beyond being ridiculously painful and pointless, biting your lover is actually dangerous.

Even if the average teen is smart enough to just throw on a hoodie, they still have serious germs to contend with. You've heard the legend that a dog's mouth is cleaner than a human's? It's actually sort of true. What's in a dog's mouth may not be as dangerous to humans as it is to other dogs, but that also means the bacteria in a human's mouth is more dangerous to other humans. And if they're biting hard enough to break the skin, the bacteria then creeps inside and can cause infection.

As much as 15 to 30 percent of human bites (not counting little kids' bites, which rarely break the skin) will become infected with creepy crawlies like streptococci, staphylococci, anaerobic organisms. Kids, that just isn't sexy. So let's get back to making out. And leave the biting to Robert Pattinson.

Did kids bite in your day?

 

Image via little blue hen/Flickr


'Glee' Recap: Don't Underestimate Bieber Fever

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Post by Jeanne Sager

Justin Bieber GleeGleeks, it was only a matter of time. The show that's used high school students to catapult pop music to the pinnacle of the iTunes download queue has finally given the Glee treatment to their real life counterpart. We just got a taste of the Justin Bieber experience.

And America, methinks Glee managed to make the Biebs ... sexy? Don't worry, it's all age appropriate Bieber loving at McKinley High. Lauren Zizes managed to turn down the heat with a bitty reminder that her heat for the Biebster was dialed down because he "looks like he's 12," but Glee taught us all a valuable lesson tonight.

Don't underestimate the power of the Biebs, or, as Mike Chang says, the "mini-god." Wise words for a member of the glee club who has spent too much time in the shadows! Because the best part of the new raft of Glee episodes? Ryan Murphy is finally giving us full-on looks at the heretofore underestimated background cast, the mini-gods who make the show rock.

This week, Sue Sylvester's back. After an attempted "Sue-icide" -- note, a Gummy Vitamin OD is the TV-acceptable way to fake your own death -- Emma Pillsbury has swung into guidance counselor mode to fix things. She's convinced a stint with the glee club to take advantage of the restorative power of music is the only way to save Sue. Naturally, Emma's the only one who believes it; even the offer of a pamphlet doesn't help. Poor Mr. Schue. He's cranky and he just found himself agreeing with Sue (or, as she puts it, "I agree with spongehair squarechin"). Ouch.

Sue settles into glee anyway by pitting Rachel against Mercedes in a diva-off. But when their voices ended up doing more melding than battling in a duet of "Take Me or Leave Me" from Rent, it's clear the real diva on Glee is ...

Brittany. Ms. Pierce is now an official fashion icon with interest from Teen Vogue. Paid by Rachel to rock the "school girl librarian chic" look, Brittany can't even get the Berry look right. She wears Rachel's leg warmers on her arms, and buys carousel horse sweaters instead of reindeer. Which is par for the course for the girl who thinks an "anthem" is "the bottom of an ant's pants." But McKinley High is eating it up, and Brittany has a few choice words for Rachel: "They see a cat getting its temperature taken, and then they hear it screaming." Raaaar. Hissss. If we didn't know better, we'd say Brittany was trying to take the bi-otch title from ...

Santana. Her manipulative side has been working overload since the season got back in gear, and her machinations are a beauty to behold. Santana says she feels like Michelle Obama these days, but she's shooting a little lower than the White House. She'll be happy ending the love affair between Quinn and ...

Sam. He's not just a pretty face with big lips. He's got the Bieber hair, and the face to make the 13-year-old bat mitzvah girls go "gaaah." And he's the one boy who's man enough to take on the Bieber songbook. When his Glee'd up version of "Baby" makes the ladies swoon, suddenly he's got ...

Artie, Mike, and Puck suffering from a case Bieber fever. Finn tells the guys, "I'm going to spend my time working on songs not geared toward 12-year-olds," but the four-part harmony of Sam and Co. on "Somebody to Love" is enough to elicit three words never before uttered about a Bieber song by anyone over the age of 13. "It was sexy." This coming from ... 

Quinn. Who last week got mono from making out with Finn, but is healthy enough this week to open her eyes and take another look at what she's been missing. Sorry Finnster, Sam "just got up there and owned" a Bieber song and Quinn's got Biebs on the brain.

Too bad for her Sam's moved on to Santana (extra points to the ex-Cheerio for making "you're Biebalicious" sound like a bona fide come on). Finn, who she just turned down for a Bieber cover artist, seems to have his taste buds yearning for Berry again. And then there's Puck, who is still gunning for Zizes -- whose take on The Waitresses' "I Know What Boys Like" gets my vote for new girl power anthem, by the way. Looks like Quinn just overestimated her capital on the McKinley High dating scene.

And while we're talking about overestimating, who didn't see this one coming? Sorry Ms. Pillsbury, but Sue's ability to make nicey-nice didn't last the episode. After convincing the team that their best shot for regionals is a jazzed up version of My Chemical Romance's "Sing," Coach Sylvester is back on top. She's the new coach of Oral Intensity ... and they'll be facing McKinley High at regionals.

I'm loving the chance to get to know some of the other characters better. Do you have a new favorite?

 

Image via Fox

I Bribe My Kid to Brush Her Teeth and You Should Too

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Post by Jeanne Sager

toothbrushesThere comes a time in every mom's life when she has to decide. To bribe my kids or not to bribe my kids? Is there ever a time when something is so important that it's worth the risk? 

Yes, I know, there is a contingent of moms who, reading this, just sucked in their breath and started shaking their heads. You've never, ever, ever thought of doing this. But maybe you should have. See, I'm not crazy about bribes. But there comes a time when the risks of not trying a new method is worse in the long run. So I bribe my kid to brush her teeth.

I know. I know. We've always been big on "dental hygiene." She's never had a cavity (knock wood), and we do annual visits to the dentist. But now that she's in kindergarten, the carefree "yes, Mommy, I'll go brush my teeth" child has disappeared, replaced by the "I know everything kindergartner who will do it in her own sweet time, thank you very much."

In most respects, I've responded to this new attitude much as I did her toddler temper tantrums. If I ignored them, she realized she wasn't getting the rise out of me she wanted, and she shaped up. It's worked with packing her backpack, etc. -- when she realizes I won't cave in and do it for her, she does it. Kids are fine with negative attention, but they hate NO attention. But I can't wait out the teeth brushing. She simply won't do it, stinky breath be damned.

And two weeks ago her dentist appointment revealed her first two wiggling teeth. Pretty soon we'll have a tooth fairy visit, and after that two permanent teeth, two teeth that need to be cared for for life. The timing couldn't be better. It's National Children's Dental Health Month, and I've been inundated with scary literature warning me stuff like:

Most parents and caregivers are unaware their best intentions may be fostering tooth decay in children. In the United States, tooth decay is the most common chronic childhood disease. It affects one in four elementary school children and two out of three adolescents. Nationally, children lose 51 million school hours each year because of dental problems.

I have to say this is an awareness campaign that is working. There are certain things you don't screw around with. Playing in traffic. Drinking bleach. Not brushing your teeth!

And to say we'd tried everything else to get her to do it is an understatement. Ordering. Punishing. Pleading. Doing it ourselves. And then my dentist gave me the idea. He bribed her with a new toothbrush that lights up and includes a little pizza man floating on the inside. She couldn't wait to run home and use it. When I got a package of freebies from the same company (Dr. Fresh Firefly) in the mail two days later, she flipped her lid and couldn't wait to brush. Cool toothbrushes, my dentist says, help. They make it fun. And he's got a point.

They inject a little silliness into the process once she's in the bathroom, which relieves my burden a little. But getting her in there, with brush in hands, is my bigger battle. So now she gets a little mini marshmallow in a jar every time she cooperates and brushes her teeth, with the promise of a reward when the jar is full (Note: she doesn't get to eat the marshamallows). I'm worried enough about her health that I've decided it's a stronger parent who compromises to keep her kid safe.

Do you think there are certain things so important you have to set aside your "parenting plans" for? Is there anything you'd bribe your kid to do?

 

Image via Anderson Mancini/Flickr

Auburn Player Jordan Spriggs' Twitter Scandal Is Your Problem, Not His

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Post by Jeanne Sager

footballJordan Spriggs is an idiot. But today I'm feeling a bit of sympathy for idiots. Because the constant gnashing of teeth about athletes and their bonehead moves is starting to give me a headache. Yes, they screw up. But they're not the problem. We are. For caring so much.

Here's the deal. Yesterday the freshman defensive back for the Auburn Tigers threw up a shout-out for help with his homework on Twitter, with an offer to pay the respondent. Um, oops? You don't have to be a genius to know that's a big fat no-no in any college in America.

The Tweet, along with Spriggs' entire account, has been deleted. But it lives on in Retweets like this one from former Auburn player Antoine Carter:

RT @jspriggsdakid: man who is good at writing papers?????????????? i pay...

Exactly Antoine! Dumb! Even if it was a joke (here's hoping), it was ill-timed in light of Auburn's scandal-ridden season.

But line it up beside the seriously stupid things college athletes have done over the years, and it's a flash in the pan. Spriggs didn't have sex with underage girls like former Virginia Tech football player Marcus Vick. He isn't facing charges for murdering his girlfriend like UVA lacrosse player George Huguely. Heck, compare him to members of the pros, and he's a pussycat. We've got football hall of famer Lawrence Taylor allegedly raping a teenager, and Brett Favre sexually harassing women.

The fact is, college athletes have been screwing up for years now for one reason. They're human. And humans screw up. Expecting them to meet a higher standard than the rest of humanity is unfair and unreasonable.

What makes athletes like Spriggs of interest to us, and to our kids, is the game they play, not what they do off the field (or court or diamond). It's that one thing we want our kids to aspire to, or at least to respect. But as Americans, we've made it our business to know what they're doing on their time off, to brush up on the minutiae of athletes' lives, lives that really have no bearing on what it is we care about.

We don't own our athletes. We can't control what they do when they're not on the clock. As long as they're giving us their all on the field, where we're paying to see them, it's just like being a teacher or a garbage man.

Yes, Jordan Spriggs showed the world he's a bit of an idiot. But when he puts that Tigers uniform on, he isn't supposed to show us how good he is at schoolwork; he's supposed to show us how good he is at football. And football season's over. So why do we care what he's doing today?

 

Image via Jayel Aheram/Flickr

Are the Girl Scouts Good Enough for Teen Girls?

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Post by Jeanne Sager

girl powerWhen it comes to the Girl Scouts, it's hard not to fall in love. They gave the world Thin Mints, and for that I am thankful. Oh, and of course girl power. Natch. 

But just one look at the Girl Scouts of America website, and I break out in hives. Aren't those girls rather ... high ... on those ropes? And, um, do they really have to be rowing in the middle of a lake?

Yes, these are all wonderful, empowering activities for the right girl. God love 'em, I'm glad we have 'em. But do you ever wonder what happens to those other girls? The girls who dropped out in Brownies? The girls whose skin broke out at the sight of a green sash? The girl who saw a rope climbing course and tripped over herself to get to the library? The girls whose parents just didn't have time to take them to a Girl Scout meeting?

Although Girl Scouts offers opportunities into high school, the bulk of its membership drops off in middle school. Talking to teens to get a feeling for the whys, the reasons are varied, but there's one constant: they associate the Scouts with childhood, and now they feel "too grown up" for Scouting -- even if they admit enjoying the ride. And that's where we're losing girls: as teens, who fall into the traps of cliques and mean girl-on-girl cattiness.

I may have found something ... I dare say it ... better for our girls than the Girl Scouts, or at the very least, a replacement for the days after Scouts. It's the Girls Leadership Institute (GLI), and it picks up where the Scouts leave off

For the sake of full disclosure, I have to admit I found it in a round-about way. I got a press packet from the Secret deodorant company about their new anti-bullying campaign with GLI. Mean Stinks is a catchy and much-needed way of putting the stops on a problem in our nation's schools. But a look at the non-profit behind the company's program, and I'm hooked. At GLI, they believe:

A connected girl is a happy girl. Strong relationships embolden girls to feel motivated, successful, and inspired. When girls know how to manage conflict, we reduce the incidence of bullying and aggression.

Pretty bad ass stuff. They have camps (like Girl Scouts) and workshops, starting at grade six. That's right where girls, in my neck of the woods anyway, start to split from the Scouts and begin to flounder. So they can jump on the GLI website to sign up for a session or wander through the site's articles on confidence, activism, feminism, body image, and identity.

Need help now? They can go via Mean Stinks and GLI to find ways to undo mean like: "Girl-to-Girl Mean. Face-to-face, text-to-text, pen-to-bathroom-stall, whatever" with 24/7 support and a Facebook feed of positivity from girls around the world. In an age when 77 percent of students confess to having been bullied at some point in high school, girls need a fall-back for empowerment. That's where GLI is coming in as a lifesaver for our girls. Simply put: they need something to carry them through the tough teen years. The more support, the better.

The Girl Scouts remain a strong option, but when girls have abandoned scouting, what is there to turn to?

 

Image via Dottie Mae/Flickr

Suspended Teacher Natalie Munroe Blogs a Truth Parents Need to Hear

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Post by Jeanne Sager

bloggingTalk about a case of the pot calling the kettle black. Natalie Munroe, a Pennsylvania high school teacher, has been suspended from her job for writing an anonymous blog. The subject? How much she hated her students.

Although she kept both her identity and that of her students private, Munroe detailed the life of a 30-year-old English teacher day by day. She called the kids "rude, lazy, disengaged whiners." She called out parents (again, not using names) with the frank "There's no other way to say this, I hate your kid."

Sounds like Munroe was flat-out unhappy with her job at the Central Bucks East High School. But was she really saying anything the kids' own parents aren't saying? Anything so egregious she should lose her job?

On an average day on Facebook, I read scores of status updates from parents whining about their kids. Little Johnny just colored on the walls, I'm sending him to live in the zoo! Little Susie is making me tear my hair out! Little Billy spent four hours cumulative in time-out today, and I needed the relief! And even more parents step outside of the semi-privacy of Facebook to share their troubles with the world. The "mommy needs a cocktail" genre of blogs is based entirely around the concept that kids drive their parents nuts.

As I've said to my own husband once or twice when our daughter was driving me especially crazy, "I love her very much, but right now, I just don't like her very much." Get that? We love our kids, and they still drive us crazy.

And we're not alone. As much as we'd like to make excuses for our kids, when they leave our house, they aren't perfect. They're out there driving the rest of the world nuts too. Munroe isn't even these kids' parent (although she is pregnant). She doesn't have biology to connect them. Just a paycheck and a sense of duty.

Munroe's words may not be tempered by the "I love her very much" side, but it didn't have to be. Her actions inside the school provided that tempering. Because it's only since the blog came to light that officials have yanked Munroe out of the classroom. Up until then, she was apparently just another teacher doing her job and helping kids. And like anyone who works with kids -- yes, even parents -- she was frustrated.

Frustrated by kids she said were "out of control" and unwilling to work, and by an administration that she told Good Morning America continued to sweep problems under the rug instead of dealing with them. Sounds like your average American employee, doesn't it? In that case, she's got yet another story on her side. Dawnmarie Souza was fired for bad-mouthing her bosses at American Medical Response of Connecticut on Facebook last year. The National Labor Relations Board took up her case, and this month Souza won a settlement for wrongful termination.

Munroe might not have said things people like to hear, but that doesn't negate her right to feel them or even to say them -- provided she maintained student privacy. It's the American right to free speech coupled with a teacher's right -- nay, need -- to blow off steam.

Working with kids is a tough job. I love my daughter, but I'd never take a teaching job because I know I can't handle a room full of kids every day. I respect the people who do it day after day, especially on the high school end where teens are surly and uncommunicative. I can understand them wanting to tear their hair out and have a glass of wine ... maybe even bang out a diatribe on the Internet about it. The simple fact is, teachers deal with our kids day in and day out. If we get angry, annoyed, frustrated, we have to recognize they do too!

Do you think Natalie Munroe deserves to be fired for this?

 

Image via DeclanTM/Flickr

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