When Ricki Lake brought the world her eye-opening documentary, The Business of Being Born, the message was clear: let women choose where they want to give birth and how. This week, Lake and partner Abby Epstein, along with director Dana Ben-Ari, are bringing the world Breastmilk, a documentary about breastfeeding in America, that opens today, May 7, in theaters. 

The topic is different, but the message really isn't. In an exclusive interview with The Stir, Lake discussed one of moms' biggest struggles -- the fight for the right to make her own choices and have them be heard. And if you think the producer of a breastfeeding film is down on formula, well, what Ricki has to say might surprise you ...

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Did you catch this line?

“I think it’s about giving women access to the information and the support and let the woman make the decision that’s best for them. And to HEAR those women.”

Amen, Ricki! 

More From The Stir: Ricki Lake Shares Extreme Measures She Took to Feed Baby Breast Milk (VIDEO)

Whether a woman wants to breastfeed OR formula feed, she should get to make the ultimate decision. What we need more of is support for women as they make those choices and less tearing each other down.

Do you feel like your choice has been heard? Who isn't listening?

Oh. Good. Grief. Did you hear what Modern Family actress Julie Bowen lets her sons do? Wait, scratch that, did you hear how the pearl clutchers are reacting to Julie Bowen's announcement that her three young sons watch her in the shower?

Bowen showed up on Conan O'Brien's show recently, and the conversation turned to kids -- as it so often does when two parents are chatting. Bowen has three boys, including twins who turn 5 later this month. And, well, it turns out her little boys like to sneak into the bathroom and watch Mom shower.

"They just sort of stare and wonder where it is or what's wrong with that. They feel bad for me, like I'm a freak," Bowen said of her boys examining her female body:

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Sounds pretty typical of motherhood doesn't it? How many times have you read one of those SomeECards on a friend's Facebook wall about how she never gets time in the bathroom alone?

Alas, ye olde Internet can't see it that way. Folks over on the Team Coco YouTube account are claiming Bowen's sons have an Oedipal complex, and Crushable writer Jill O'Rourke can barely seem to type out the words "sons" and "penis" in the same sentence without having to run for her own (private) shower. In short: people are freaked.

More From The Stir: My 8-Year-Old Daughter Still Sees Her Dad Naked

It seems the Modern Family star has found out what plenty of American parents find out sooner or later -- people just can't separate gender differences from sex. Not even when we're talking about parents and their kids.

In fact, when UCLA psychology professor Paul Okami studied parental nudity in front of kids back in 1995, he found more social scientists were referring to it as a form of "subtle sexual abuse." But according to Okami's study, there's no clinical or empirical evidence to support this concern. 

The fact is, if you don't act like nudity is a big deal, kids won't either. Our bodies aren't "icky," nor does nudity automatically equal sexual.

Some studies have even found that kids who grow up in homes where bodies simply "are" tend to be more comfortable with their own bodies ... and better sexually adjusted than their peers.

So cover up at home, if that makes you comfortable, but let's stop judging other parents who don't do the same, OK?

How old were your kids when you started covering up around them?

Image via Team Coco/YouTube

Can't get enough of Pharrell and his joyful hit, "Happy"? Good, because it's about to get even better! Ellen DeGeneres invited Heaven King, the talented toddler whose Beyonce dance went viral last fall, to come back to the show for a repeat performance.

After dishing with DeGeneres on what it she wants for Daughter's Day (ahem, moms, did you know there was a Daugher's Day?), the tiny dancer got up to groove with her mama, Tianne King, to Pharrell's cheerful tune. Think the man in the big hat has moves made to make you grin? You haven't seen anything yet!

Skip to 3:45 to see some seriously sweet moves from this 3-year-old star:

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Heaven gives a whole new meaning to happy dance, amirite?!

Can you imagine your kiddo learning a routine like that? As a toddler!? No surprise, her mom is a choreographer, so little Heaven comes by her talent naturally ... and has a pretty awesome teacher to boot.

What song will your little one jam out to?

Image via TheEllenShow/YouTube

Have you spotted a photo of someone you know holding up a sign that reads "#BringBackOurGirls" or "#BringBackOurDaughters"? If you haven't, you probably will soon. An extremist group called Boko Haram grabbed nearly 300 girls from a school in Nigeria in mid-April, and nearly a month later, they're still refusing to return these daughters, nieces, cousins, to their families.

Halfway across the world, most American moms can't imagine their daughters being stolen away, their little girls being married off to random men. But moms? It's happened.

Nearly 300 girls disappeared. Nearly 300 mothers are crying in the night, desperate for someone to help them.

And in this global village where we are all raising children, it's impossible for us not to want to reach out, to do something, to tell these mothers that they are not alone.

Amy Poehler's done it. Michelle Obama's done it. Malala has done it. 

Will you? Sign the petition. Share the call to action. Post a photo on Facebook. Demand these mothers get another day with their daughters.

#BringBackOurGirls.

Image via MalalaFund/Twitter

Here's the funny thing about Mother's Day: the stores are chock full of cards full of mushy, gushy sayings about what it means to be a mom. Some of them are true, certainly. Being a mom takes a whole lot of love. But you know what else makes it worth being a mom? All the laughs!

Motherhood is often pretty darn hilarious! And when it isn't, we could all use a bit of humor to get us through. So what better way to celebrate moms than with some funny quotes about motherhood?

More From The Stir: 14 Mother's Day Cards From Kids Who Meant Well, But ...

Have a laugh on us, Mom!

Which quote really sums up YOUR experience with motherhood?

Image via A Forest Frolic/Flickr

When I signed my family up for Screen-Free Week, I knew there would be friction. I'm raising a kid in a time when 8 to 18-year-olds spend an estimated 75 percent of their time connected to some sort of gadget. Telling my 8-year-old she couldn't watch TV, play on her laptop, or touch her Kindle for an entire week was going to be a hard sell.

But I'd be lying if I didn't admit I was caught up in the mystical promise that forcing my family to "unplug" would bring us all together and make us closer. After all, that's what the folks behind Screen-Free Week promise ... that by getting rid of gadgets for seven days, our kids will be "turning OFF digital entertainment and turning ON life."

So, did it happen?

In a word ... no.

It didn't bring my family together. If anything, last week we spent more disconnected than usual!

Now, now, I'm not going to say that Screen-Free Week was a total bust.

After trying to wheedle her way out of the deal -- "You told me this would start May 9, not May 5!" and similar claims -- my daughter settled right into a world free of digital media. She spent a lot of the week outside in the sunshine, cuddled up on her bed reading, or in her playroom, engaging her creative mind in building LEGO worlds. All good things!

More From The Stir: 5 Ways Video Games Keep Parents Sane

And there was time with us -- my husband played soccer with her one night while I made dinner; played basketball with her another evening while I finished up my work day; and I played more than a few rousing games of Connect Four and Sorry. We went out to eat as a family on Mother's Day, and we did a few other odds and ends. My husband and I made an effort to engage with our daughter.

But the big change I noticed last week was that we weren't gathering together in the evenings in our living room -- after dinner is made and homework done -- as we normally do. By and large, we were all splitting off in various directions.

Now, maybe a bit of that was the nice weather. Screen-Free Week coincided with a series of warm evenings and, of course, the benefit of Daylight Saving Time. She could swing out on her swings until it was time for shower and bed in a way she couldn't just a week prior.

But even on days when it poured -- and there were several -- my 8-year-old didn't come to hang out with her parents in the living room. She wanted to do her own thing, be it with books or LEGOs. She would disappear for hours, closing the door behind her, like the teenager she will be all too soon.

And I'll admit it: I missed her. I missed talking about her day.

Because the TV playing our living room in the evenings -- we watch Jeopardy and Wheel of Fortune most nights as a family -- isn't just an idiot box we all stare at like zombies. It has drawing power, sure. But once we're in the same room, we tend to talk, often (almost always in the 8-year-old's case) talking over the television. The TV becomes mere background noise.

I've found that my kid who once clammed up like a CIA operative when asked about her day is more willing to open up when the focus isn't solely on her -- a tip I got from a mom who would talk to her kid about her day on the car ride home from school, when her daughter didn't feel like she was on-the-spot because she didn't have to look Mom in the eye. My husband has found the same benefit when they play video games together. Both have their eyes on the screen, but they talk ... REALLY TALK ... to one another while playing.

Without the TV to bring her into the room, she was unplugged from the digital life for the week, but she also seemed a bit unplugged from us.

I'm not sorry we tried Screen-Free Week, nor will I stop trying to find a balance between letting her use digital media and keeping her away from it. But I'm not going to lie: cutting the cords was no magic pill for my family. It didn't suddenly make turn us into the Waltons.

Screens are part of our cultural landscape now, and rather than avoid them -- we parents need to figure out how to make them work FOR our families, rather than against us.

How do you balance screen time in your home?

Image by Jeanne Sager

Quick! What's the worst thing you've ever seen on TV? Come on, think hard ... what's the most upsetting thing producers could put out over the airwaves? Got your answer? Now consider this: is it better or worse than a mom breastfeeding?

Think it's a trick question? We only wish! But a TV show is fielding significant criticism for showing just that: a mother nursing her son.

The incident occurred on the Australian version of The Voice. Producers showed contestant Dallas James being congratulated for an amazing performance, then flashed to his partner, Ingrid Pullen, feeding the couple's 22-month-old son, Tashi. The focus of the camera is on Ingrid's face as she comments on how wonderful her partner performed, and even though it pans her body -- and her son nursing -- there is no nipple exposure at all! Here, see for yourself:

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Pretty dang normal, huh? So what's the big deal? Ask the folks who took to Twitter to create a firestorm with comments like these:

http://t.co/CqxRYyf4in The fact that it was planned disturbs me, there is a time and a place for everything, between Mother and child TV no

Really breast feeding your like 2 year old kid on a tv show?!? #TheVoice

That last comment is pretty telling, don't you think? People are shocked that kids might have seen a mom breastfeeding when watching the TV show.

Because a little one eating dinner is the worst thing a kid will see on TV? Worse than violence? Curse words? Sex?

Puh. Lease.

Perhaps if kids saw breastfeeding on TV on a regular basis, the rates of breastfeeding overall would increase. After all, studies have shown women who know they were breastfed are more likely to do so with their children. When you teach kids that breastfeeding is normal and positive, it only stands to reason that they'll grow up to do it themselves (or, in the case of males, support their partners in doing so).

Kudos to Ingrid for not being ashamed of breastfeeding her little one. And shame on those who would tell her to cover up.

What do you think of the TV producers' decision? Are you cheering for them or against them?

Image via Angel Raul Ravelo Rodriguez/Flickr

Alright, Mom. How many times during your pregnancy did someone cluck their tongue and tell you to "enjoy it while you can because baby is going to change everything?" Ten? Twenty? One hundred twenty? Conventional wisdom for a long, long time has been that kids ruin your life, and being a parent means being unhappy.

Well, guess what. Conventional wisdom is wrong.

But don't take our word for it!

Researchers Chris Herbst of Arizona State University and John Ifcher of Santa Clara University have taken a look at all the studies on parents and happiness, and they've found a big ol' flaw. Turns out most studies focused solely on a man and a woman making a baby via traditional (aka sexual) means. Never did anyone take into account phenomena such as adoption, fostering, marriage ... etc.

You know, people who 100 percent go into parenting WANTING a child? That WOULD up the rate of parents being happy with their situation, wouldn't it?

It all comes down to statistics. When you have a smaller pool of people, the bad apples have a much bigger chance of spoiling the bunch. A bigger pool means a bigger majority of happy parents. Presto, change-o, no more "having kids will make you miserable." In fact, Herbst and Ifcher concluded parents are happier than non-parents by leaps and bounds.

But here's the other thing this study tells us: if you go into parenting because you want to become parents, then it seems you run a much lower risk of being unhappy. Again, it makes sense. Give a kid the lollipop they want, and the chance of them throwing it on the ground and crying that it was yucky is reduced, right?

Give a grown adult what they ask for, and they're much less likely to get upset and declare it all a disaster.

Yes, even kids.

Let's flip it: you want kids, you get kids, so you're happy you got what you wanted, right?

Which begs the question ... why is it parents care so much about what everyone else thinks kids will do to them? Why do we let people freak us out?

We're grown-ups! We should know by now what it is that makes us sad, mad, glad and all the rest. We should know our limitations, our triggers ...

And we should get all that figured out ... before we decide to make a baby. We're willing to bet THAT'S what would save the world a whole lot of unhappiness.

On the other hand, if you're miserable because you're a parent, well ... you only have yourself to blame ... not the kids.

What do you think? Do your kids make you "unhappy?"

Image via Wynand Strydom/Flickr

Alright, show of hands: who is nervous about giving birth? Then you might want to steer clear of the new reality show about giving birth, Come On, Baby. Following moms through labor and delivery, the show out of China is being called out for showing "graphic" childbirth scenes that some say will traumatize moms-to-be.

People have even come up with a hashtag on the Chinese version of Twitter that translates to "#Are you brave enough to watch a mother give birth?"

Think it's a little reactionary? Don't see any reason why women shouldn't watch this? Well, that depends on what your birth experience was like. Birth can be beautiful! But it can also be scary, if only because some women scream and yell (hey, it's painful!), and not everyone has the stomach for bodily fluids, no matter how natural they are.

More From The Stir: Mom Makes Risky Decision to Show 8-Year-Old Her Birth Video

Is watching someone give birth a good way to prepare for your own labor and delivery? Maybe! If you're up for it.

Then again, if you're nervous about it, maybe not. Studies have shown that if you're nervous about giving birth, it can have a negative impact on your own labor and delivery. Moms who are nervous, according to a study out of the University of Norway, labor on average a full hour and a half longer than moms who aren't. Anxious moms, it's been found, are also more likely to request an epidural -- regardless of actual pain level. Not to mention a mother's anxiety has been linked to issues for her baby post-delivery.

Still think it's a good idea for women to watch so-called "graphic" childbirth scenes on reality television? 

Ladies, if you're worried about giving birth, skip the reality shows ... t's smarter to talk to your doula, your midwife, your OB/GYN, someone who can tell you the truth about giving birth: that it's different for every woman. Labor and delivery can even vary from one birth to the next ... for the same woman!

Would you watch this show?

Image via Eugene Luchinin/Flickr

Photographer Heather Bays thought her Instagram account had been suspendedover a photo of her breastfeeding her 20-month-old daughter. Hey, it's happened before, right? But when she contacted the picture sharing site, the reason she was given was even more absurd.

It wasn't mom's chest that had folks upset. It was her toddler daughter's. Yes, "topless" photos of a 20-month-old have now been deemed too risque for the Internet.

According to Bays, it started with a negative comment on a photo of her breastfeeding, then came the account suspension. She tried contacting the company several times, and when she finally got through, she says she was told "that any photo that has a child even showing their torso is called child pornography."

More From The Stir: Mom Slammed for Breastfeeding Toddler on TV Show (VIDEO)

By that logic, wouldn't 99 percent of parents therefore be in possession of child porn? After all, how many photos do you have of your young children wearing nothing but a diaper? Or even less if they're in the bathtub?

Granted, we don't all share these photos with the world via social media, but plenty of folks do! Moms. Dads. Celebrities. Heck, even child models are seen "topless" in advertisements on nearly a daily basis.

Should we kick the commercials off TV now? Ban shirtless babies from plugging diapers? Tell moms their shirtless toddlers playing in the sprinkler are lewd and lascivious?

You don't REALLY need the answer to those questions, do you?

Child nudity and child pornography are two very different animals. In fact, according to the US Justice Department, child pornography is "any visual depiction of sexually explicit conduct involving a minor (someone under 18 years of age)."

Got that?

Children who aren't wearing clothes are not inherently sexual. They just are. Children who are posed in a sexually explicit or sexually suggestive manner, on the other hand, well ... that's child porn. And that's wrong, and it must be stopped.

But anyone with a lick of common sense can see the difference.

So next time you're freaked out by a shirtless toddler, ask yourself ... who is the one with a problem?

When are kids too old to go shirtless? When are they too old for you to share their photos with others?

Image via Phalinn Ooi/Flickr

Giving a baby a bath is not the easiest task on the planet. They're squirmy. They're slippery, and -- more often than not -- they're screaming. But since you can't wait until they're old enough to do it themselves, getting a handle on how to give a baby a bath is a must.

So when is baby old enough for their first bath? What temperature should the water be, and what do you have to buy?

When can baby start getting baths?

Hospitals tend to teach parents to sponge bathe their newborns before they even leave the maternity ward, but the first "real" bath often won't happen until baby is at least one week old or older.

"We do not recommend immersion until the [umbilical] cord comes off," explains Dr. Charles Shubin, the director of pediatrics at Mercy FamilyCare, a division of Family Health Centers of Baltimore. For little boys who are circumcised, Shubin warns parents should also wait at least 24 to 48 hours after the procedure to make sure there's no risk to open skin.

Where should you bathe baby?

The baby product market is chock-a-block with baby tubs in all varieties, but which one is the best?

"I don't know that it matters," says Dr. Shubin with a laugh. "Therefore, I don't care." Like many parents, Shubin bathed his own children in the family sink, and he says that's just fine for parents. When baby gets too big for the sink, you can still avoid the expensive tubs -- they can be transitioned into the family tub.

How do you prepare a baby's bath?

Whether you're in the sink, family tub, or a specially made tub, however, parents need to ensure that water from the tap is not too hot for an infant's sensitive skin. "Hot water heaters are set much hotter than they need to be," Dr. Shubin explains. "They're often set for 130 degrees, which is hot enough to cause third degree burns in a matter of minutes."

Hot water heaters are usually adjustable, and anyone with a baby in the house should turn the water down to 125 degrees -- at the highest. Even at that point, water should be tested with the back of your hand to ensure it's not too warm.

Parents should also gather all items they will need for bath time -- a washcloth, towel and your preferred baby soap -- before ever placing baby in the water. You won't have a chance to go get anything you forgot once you've started bathtime; it's not safe. 

"Never leave a baby unattended in any amount of water," warns Dr. Jennifer Trachtenberg, pediatrician at The Mount Sinai School of Medicine, and creator of the Baby Bundle mobile app. "Always stay at arm's reach. Children can drown in a few inches of water and in just a few minutes!"

In fact, children ages 1 to 4 have the highest drowning rates in America. Although most children who drown do so in swimming pools, it can just as easily happen inside the house.

Trachtenberg warns that one of the biggest mistake parents make in the bathroom is "assuming if they turn away or talk on cell phone for just a moment that an accident couldn’t occur. But it can and does happen!"

How often should you bathe a baby?

No matter what your mother or grandmother told you, there is no hard and fast rule about how often babies should be bathed. The fact is, babies tend not to get very dirty, which means you can usually go several days between baths.

Dr. Stephanie Levine, board certified pediatrician and member of the board of directors of child product safety non-profit Keeping Babies Safe, says it really comes down to personal choice.

"Many parents find this to be a relaxing and wonderful bonding experience," she says, "while others find it overwhelming due to a screaming baby who cannot wait for bath time to end. Don't fret, they will outgrow this!"

What is bathtime like at your house?

Image via Terry Vine/Blend Images/Corbis

Ask most firstborns how Mom and Dad treat the baby of the family, and you're sure to hear a ration of complaints. They're spoiled! Adored! Pampered. But is it true? Do you really treat your lastborn child differently?

Is the youngest child in the family any different from their siblings? And is it because of birth order, or would they have been the same kid if they were born first? Turns out science has a lot to say on what makes your lastborn child tick:

1. They're more prone to obesity. When researchers in Copenhagen looked at the weights of children based on birth order, they found the last born child was most likely to be obese in a family.  They shared the trait with only children.

2. They're more creative. At least when it comes to careers! A study by CareerBuilder found the youngest children in a family tended to pick careers such as art/design/architecture, editing/writing, information technology, or sales.

3. They have it easier. When economists from Duke University and Washington University looked at parental rules and birth order, they found rules, parental monitoring and consequences for wrongdoing lessen as parents go from oldest down to youngest.

4. They're dumber. Well, relatively speaking! When scientists at the University of Oslo looked at the IQ scores of men, they found firstborns were likely to have higher IQs than secondborns. What's more, secondborns were likely to have higher IQs than thirdborns!

More From The Stir: 11 Surprising Scientific Facts About Firstborn Children

 5. They're rebels. Ever looked at your youngest child and though, "If they'd been the first, they would have been the last?" Psychologist Frank Sulloway, author of Born to Rebel, has found a reason for that! His studies have shown firstborns are more likely to follow parents' rules, while their younger siblings are born to, well, ... rebel against them!

6. They're at higher risk of disease. A little general? The more scientists are looking at how a father's advanced age at conception can affect the baby, the more they're finding! Technically the risks of having an older dad affect any child born to one -- but because he's technically oldest with his last child, the risks are higher for the lastborn. Among those diseases most prevalent in youngest children? Achondroplasia, a form of dwarfism.

7. They're at a lower risk of diabetes. Despite what we just shared in #7, it's not all bad! Researchers at Oxford delivered bad news for firstborns who are at the highest risk for diabetes, but they found that risk decreases as birth order increases (in other words, it's less for baby number two, even less for baby number three, etc.).

8. They speak just as well as their siblings. Ever been warned that your lastborn will speak later because the older kids will speak for him or her? Not true! Scientists have actually found that younger children have to work harder to be included in their older siblings' conversations -- and they have "more advanced in their conversational skills."

9. They're just as callous as the rest of us. If you think your youngest child is more empathetic then their older siblings because they're always being bossed around, that might just be your perception. Because Israeli scientists say it's not true -- in fact, birth order was found to have no affect on how a child does or doesn't develop empathy.

Which of these ring true for the youngest children in your life?

Image via Lenore Edman/Flickr

Got a picky eater in your house? Feeding your toddler the same food day in and day out because they just won't eat anything else can be  boring as all get out... not to mention stressful for a mom who worries their kiddo isn't eating enough. But good news is here!

Picky eating is absolutely normal for younger kids says Jill Castle, Jill Castle, childhood nutrition expert and co-author of Fearless Feeding: How to Raise Healthy Eaters From High Chair to High School. " It is generally a "phase" that will pass," Castle explains.

OK, so that's good news, but until they're out of the phase, how do you know your picky eater is getting enough nutrients? Here are some easy tips to keep your toddler healthy, even when they're turning their nose up at every meal!

1. Stick to a routine. Castle suggests toddlers and preschoolers have an opportunity to eat every three hours, and she advises against snacks between meals. "Sit at the table, in the kitchen [to eat]," she says. "Do this everyday; close the kitchen until the next feeding time."

This will help a picky eater learn not to graze all day and to eat only when hungry, as well as to stop eating when they're full.

2. Avoid filling them up on juice and milk between meals. This goes hand-in-hand with rule one, and it's a major mistake Danielle Fatemi, a pediatric dietitian with the Academy of Nutrition and Dietetics sees parents making. "By limiting juice and milk intake to mealtime, and offering only water between meals, your child is less likely to feel full before meals," she explains. Not to mention with less in their belly, kids will have a bigger appetite, and hopefully be more willing to try something new.

If your child is going through an all liquid phase, don't cave. "Keep offering solids," Castle says. "Offer liquids last. Decrease the amount of liquid offered, so an appetite can build up."

3. Vary the food you're offering. Kid can easily get into food "ruts," where they demand one thing and one thing only. But Castle says feeding into that only creates a vicious cycle. Varying food "helps prevent food boredom and food jags," she says. It also helps keep important food nutrients like calcium, iron, and zinc center stage.

4. Keep a few familiar foods in the meals. While you don't want to cave to their demands, you also don't want them to full reject the meal. Just one or two familiar foods in a meal plan is enough, Castle advises.

5. Let your kids take control! Toddlers especially love to do anything that grown ups do, so take advantage of their enthusiasm to get them excited about new foods. "At the grocery store, have your child pick out one new fruit or vegetable to try that week," Fatemi says. When possible, also encourage them to help you with food prep. And when they get to the table -- let them lead the way. If they get messy or their manners aren't perfect, so what? Clothes can be washed, and you can work on "use your fork" later.

6. Make food fun. "Kids like colorful, fun presentation," Fatemi says. "Try dipping sauces or cut foods into shapes with cookie cutters."

7. Mask flavors, not foods. Castle isn't a big fan of hiding veggies. "Many kids may turn off their favorite food once they find out," she warns. But if you want to try introducing a new food, there's no reason you can't slip it in with their favorite eats -- if you're honest and open about it. 

"If your preschooler asks, 'What's in this smoothie?' answer honestly: strawberries, banana and kale," she says. "IF he rejects it, let him help you make the smoothie next time and let him add the ingredients—he may leave out the kale or he may add it."

8. Leave fruits and vegetables (such as cherry tomatoes or grapes) out in a bowl where they will be easily noticed. If they are stored out in the open, Fatemi explains, your child may be more likely to reach for a fruit or a vegetable instead of something unhealthy when they need a snack.

9. Limit distractions during meal times. If your toddler is focused on the TV, phone calls, or loud conversations, they're not focusing on eating a full meal, Fatemi warns. If you keep things calm, you can keep them munching!

10. Follow the basics. Still not sure they're getting enough? Castle says the minimum eating requirements for a toddler are as follows:

Toddlers age 2-3 years: about 2 ounces of meat, 2 cups of dairy, 1 cup of fruits, 1 cup of veggies, 3 ounces of grains, 3 teaspoons of fat. Preschoolers age 4-5 years: 3 ounces of meat, 2.5 cups dairy, 1 cup fruit, 1.5 cups veggies, 4 ounces grains, 4 teaspoons of fat.

"Remember we look at the average intake over a week's time, not a single day or meal," she says. "Fruit and veggies can be interchanged, especially for the picky eater."

The US Department of Agriculture also offers sample meal plans for toddlers that are balanced.

Whatever happens, remember picky eating is normal, and there's no reason to get upset. "Just smile and move on," Castle advises. "There's always another meal or snack just a couple of hours away."

How do you get your picky eater to eat up?

Image via Mother Image/Caitie McCabe/mother image/Corbis

Baby showers are one of those things that can spend even the craftiest person into a tailspin. Is it better to go gender-neutral? Should you make a theme about mom? About the baby-to-be?

Should there be games? What about favors? And what the heck is a sprinkle? How about we just dial back the anxiety for a moment? Before you get yourself in a tizzy, let's start with the basics: picking an epic baby shower theme!

From Star Wars for the geeky mama to a vintage tea party for a classy afternoon, here's a list of shower ideas that's sure to spark something for every mom!

What was your baby shower theme? Did you know who you were having?

Image via I Heart Naptime

A mom from Michigan is doing something unusual this weekend. She's taking a busload of kids across the border into Canada. OK so maybe that's not unusuall -- kids go on trips all the time, right? Well how about this: her mission is to get these kids vaccines that she hopes will save their lives.

In an era when the number of parents who are opting out on vaccinating their kids seems to be on an upswing, it could be said that Alicia Stillman is an anomaly. But her story could have other parents checking flights northbound.

Stillman's 19-year-old daughter died more than a year ago of meningitis B. Emily Stillman had gotten the meningococcal vaccine recommended for American kids by the CDC, but the immunization couldn't save her life; it doesn't protect kids from meningitis B.

That's why she told NBC she's taking teenage son Zachary, and some 50 other kids, to Canada. There's a vaccine offered by healthcare workers in our neighbor to the north that does cover the strain that killed Emily (the kids will get one shot this weekend, another on a return trip in a few months).

It's that same strain that has been blamed for outbreaks at at least two American universities in the last few months -- including Princeton and UC Santa Barbara. It's here; in America, threatening kids' lives.

So why aren't American kids getting the vaccine? Ever heard of a little organization called the Food and Drug Administration? Turns out the FDA hasn't yet approved this version of the meningitis vaccine (although it's under review).

Which puts parents in a pretty precarious position.

Should we TRUST vaccines administered elsewhere? Vaccines that our government hasn't rubber-stamped? Many parents consider the words "FDA approved" as a gold standard of sorts on whether or not something is safe to give to their kids. Granted, other countries have their own drug review boards, but if something hasn't passed the FDA's approval, one would think there would be a reason!

Then again, if there's a medical breakthrough out there in the world that could save your child's life, what mom or dad wouldn't go to extreme lengths to get it for their kid? Even if it means crossing international borders? Taking a risk?

Some would say it's riskier not to do it than the opposite.

How about you? Would you take your child to another country for a vaccine?

Image via Noodles and Beef/Flickr

For years now, it has seemed like every time a study came out about the "cause" of autism, it lay blame on mom. Well, how's this for a change? Researchers at the University of Texas decided to look at dads and their affect on kids with autism -- specifically how dad's job is linked to their child's risk of being diagnosed as somewhere on the spectrum.

Got a partner who works in a health care? Married to an engineer or a financial worker?

Then there's an increased chance your child may have autism!

UT Health researchers found dads worked in engineering were twice as likely as dads who work in non-technical fields to have a kid on the autism spectrum. That number increases to four times as likely for dads in finance, and six times as likely if dad is in the health care industry. Mom's job wasn't shown to be linked with the spectrum disorder ... unless she's in a technical field AND Dad is too.

So what does this mean? You should run out and divorce your doctor husband before he gets you pregnant? Tell your engineering boyfriend he's got to find a new gig, maybe as a plumber or an artist?

Of course not!

Correlation, as they always say, doesn't equal causation. There are plenty of engineers who have kids who aren't on the spectrum. There are plenty of writers who have kids who are.

It's not dad's job that is CAUSING his kid to be on the spectrum. So let Dad keep his job! But if you're seeing certain behaviors in your child that you've heard are linked to autism, and you have a partner in one of these fields, well, it might be worth bringing it up to your doctor.

The more information you can supply your doctor, the faster you may get a diagnosis. And, of course, the faster you get a diagnosis, the faster you can get your child the services and therapies they need.

That's what parents really want, in the end, isn't it? Being able to better serve autistic children and adults?

We're glad to see researchers looking more at dad's potential role in autism diagnosis ... and not just because moms bear the brunt a lot but because it's another piece of the puzzle that will help families.

Does this ring true for your family? What does Dad do for a living?

Image via photologue_np/Flickr

When you're a breastfeeding mom, a young infant is kind of like your American Express -- you don't leave home without him or her. But some moms take things a little too far. Take the nursing mother who was kicked out of a restaurant trade show over the weekend.

Kristin Osborne wasn't escorted out of the National Restaurant Association event because she showed a little boob. But the mother of a 10-day-old was certainly acting like one!

According to the Chicago Tribune, Osborne was aware of a rule that states no children under age 16 are allowed on the trade show floor, but she decided it didn't apply to her nursing newborn. Because he eats every hour, she took him with her.

And was promptly escorted off the premises.

Now Osborne is digging in her heels and complaining to media. As she told the Trib:

I said, "Clearly he’s a breastfeeding baby. I can’t separate from him." I understand not having kids run around or not having strollers -- that I understand. A tiny breastfeeding infant, I hope would be an exception to this rule.

Ah, an exception to the rule.

Is it any wonder nursing moms can't get no respect when moms like this decide the rules don't apply to them?

More From The Stir: Mom Slammed for Breastfeeding Toddler on TV Show (VIDEO)

Folks, there are laws in place that protect moms who want to nurse in public. That's necessary because infants DO need to eat pretty regularly, and moms shouldn't have to hole up in their homes until baby is old enough to be permanently on solids.

But simply because moms shouldn't have to be social pariahs doesn't mean they get to take their babies everywhere. The fact is, rules do still apply to us, even when we have itty bitty babies. And that's on us.

When we become moms, we make choices. We choose to have kids; we choose to breastfeed (or not). The rest of the world had nothing to do with those choices.

So we can't expect the rest of the world to suddenly stop in its tracks and reverse every decision to accommodate us. Some places simply aren't safe for babies.

And some? Well, they're just not great for babies! Maybe you CAN take a newborn to the movies, for example, but the minute they start hollering their head off, well, you can understand why paying customers would be a wee bit perturbed that they're not hearing the movie? Why the theater wouldn't want your baby there? Why you should get off your butt and walk out?

The fact of the matter is, when we have kids, we have to remember that we're going to have to make sacrifices. This mom could breastfeed her kid every hour on the hour or she could go to the trade show -- the choice was hers.

How do you feel about exceptions being made for breastfeeding infants in places where other kids are banned? Would you support rule changes, or should moms suck it up?

Image via beth/Flickr

The older generation is a fount of parenting advice. Some good. Some bad. Some really, really bad! Has your mother or maybe your mother-in-law ever told you to do something with your kids that just made you cringe? Welcome to the club!

Grandma seems to be one of the worst offenders in the "doling out bad advice club." Just check out these doozies moms were told by their mothers (or his!):

1. You're not giving him the nutrients he needs (because mom was making his food fresh instead of using jars of baby food).

2. You'll spoil her (by breastfeeding and responding to her cries).

3. Put a shot of whiskey in her bottle.

4. Give the baby a bottle of warm water and cough drops (at 3 months old) to help him sleep.

5. After breastfeeding the first week, you don't need to anymore because formula is healthier.

6. Leave the (newborn) baby outside in her pram in the snow by herself "to get some fresh air."

7. You shouldn't breastfeed because it's too hard to stick to a healthy diet.

8. Don't kiss the baby on the face because you could give her herpes (even though mom doesn't have herpes).

9. It's okay to wipe from back to front because the body will naturally clean itself.

10. Use Huggies instead of the Costco brand diapers or people will think you're poor. 

11. It's okay to take the baby out of the car seat (in a moving car) if she is crying.

12. Dip her pacifier in honey so she'll "take" it better.

13. Put a piece of soap in the baby's butt to help her poop.

14. Let the kids have cake and cookies for breakfast if they want -- they have eggs in them so they're healthy!

15. The expiration dates (on car seats) don't matter if it looks new.

16. Painting a boy's toenails (per his request) will make him gay.

17. Go to the doctor ASAP if they won't stop crying after 10 minutes, because obviously something is wrong.

18. You shouldn't punish your children.

More From The Stir: 10 'Oh-No-She-Didn't!' Things Grandmas Have Done With Their Grandkids

19. Forward face the car seat right away because it is so much more convenient.

20. Feed (a child with a peanut allergy) organic peanuts because "organic foods are safer."

21. You don't really need to burp the baby.

22. It won't hurt him to sit in his dirty diaper for a few hours; you are being overprotective.

23. Add sugar to the jars of baby food.

24. Pour bacon grease on all the food of skinny kids.

Any of yours on the list, or can your bad advice from mom (or mother-in-law) top even these?

Image via Donnie Ray Jones/Flickr

It really goes without saying that books are good for kids. Every study on literacy and learning since the beginning of time has told us that the more books you give kids when they are little, the better off they will be, right? But a word to the wise -- you might want to check the copyright date on that children's book before you hand it over. 

Because as the times change, so does what parents find acceptable to show their kids. Don't believe us? We unearthed a vintage children's dictionary, first printed in 1944, that's chock full of sexism, racism, and plenty more "isms" that will make your skin crawl!

The Golden Dictionary boasts 1,030 words and more than 1,500 pictures (in color, no less!). Written by an Ellen Wales Walpole and illustrated by "Miss Elliott," it was on its 35th printing in 1969, which is when kids were still being taught that girls are stuck in dresses and some rather backward terminology. It's a nice little reminder that just because something was once made for kids doesn't mean it's really kid-friendly.

So, get ready for your time warp, because we're about to dive in ...

Would you stock this dictionary on your child's shelf? Even with #18?

Image by Jeanne Sager

Grandmothers can wear many hats. Cheek pinchers. Cookie bakers. And in thousands of American families: babysitters.

Fast fact: some 61 percent of American grandparents provide at least 50 hours a year of childcare (if not more) for grandchildren who are at least 1 year old. Pretty sweet deal, right? Who could take better care of your kiddo than the person who raised you or your partner? Welllll, you'd think so!

But when The Stir asked moms to weigh in on grandma's babysitting skills, we found out moms and mothers-in-law alike have made big mistakes with their grandchildren. Mistakes so irresponsible and questionable that they're actually getting fired from their babysitting gigs!

Ever had to consider the tough decision of firing Grandma? Plenty of moms told us they have -- and we certainly can't blame them because here's what the offending grandmothers did!

1. Asked the child invasive personal questions.

2. Sent a teenager to babysit in her place, without notifying Mom and Dad.

3. Passed out cold from medication while watching her granddaughter.

4. Threatened to hit an 18-month-old.

5. Decided allergies aren't real and gave a child with dairy allergies cream cheese -- landing the little boy in the hospital.

6. Never disciplined.

7. Smoked in the car with the kids.

8. Drove drunk with the kids!

9. Wouldn't lay an 8-month-old down for naps.

10. Gave a solid-food eating baby bottles all day because she was too lazy to pull out the high chair.

11. Let one grandchild get hold of a loaded pistol ... and point it at another one!

12. Left a potty-training child sit on the toilet for an hour instead of helping him wipe.

13. Tried teaching her grandchild to call her "Mom."

14. Told her granddaughter that Daddy didn't love her.

15. Didn't use car seats because they were a "hassle."

16. Let a 3-year-old play outside by the road while she was inside watching TV.

17. Left the baby sleeping on the couch unattended. 

18. Failed to feed baby more than one bottle and 1/3 jar of baby food over the course of eight hours.

19. Didn't tell mom when her son suffered second-degree burns.

20. Let her grandchild play outside with no shoes on in 110-degree weather ... on a metal grate!

All right, Mom, can you top these? What has your mom or mother-in-law done when babysitting?

Image via r. niall bradshaw/Flickr