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I have strung words together for The New York Times, Vice, and more. I write and shoot people (with a camera, you guys) from my home in upst...

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    Post by Jeanne Sager
    I don't know about you, but I can hardly wait for the new Muppets movie to hit theaters in 2014. Word has it Miss Piggy and the gang visit London! But I think I can hold on so long as I can put the latest viral kid video on repeat any time I feel blue. What makes a toddler and her dad singing so cute? I've got two (nonsense) words for you: Mahna Mahna! Dad Jesse Teeters jokes that this is his "greatest" achievement in 2 1/2 years of parenting, and you're about to see why. Roll the cuteness:

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    Post by Jeanne Sager
    What were you thinking about when you were 14? The PSATs? Whether the person you liked was ever going to look your way? Saving up for an engagement ring? If this was a game of "which of these does not belong," the last one would be your answer. And yet there's been some hub bub this week about a kid who started doing just that. Reddit user SeanAir announced he's been setting quarters aside since he was just barely past puberty to one day buy a gal a big rock. He's now 19 and has no prospects but a good start on a down payment. And that, ladies and germs, is one of the saddest things I've read all week.

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    Post by Jeanne Sager
    A missing boy has been found less than a day after he was kidnapped. Even better, 8-month-old Carlos Orozco is doing just fine now that he's back with his mom.  The case out of Minneapolis is not what we're used to hearing at the end of abduction stories. But thank goodness, right? It certainly puts a different spin on how we think of kidnappers.

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    Post by Jeanne Sager
    If you spend any amount of time on Facebook, you've probably seen at least one or two of the following: a photo of a person adopted as a child who is desperately searching for their birth parents. They're so sweet, you can't help but hit share. And now a woman on the other side of the coin is looking for the same outpouring of Internet support. She wasn't adopted. She was, is, the birth mom to a little girl she named Crystal Dawn when she gave birth to her way back in 1969. Four days later, her daughter was adopted and the commonwealth of Virginia sealed the records. Now, in a photo that's spreading like wildfire across the Internet, she holds a sign telling her daughter that she has always loved her.

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    Post by Jeanne Sager
    You hear about parents who take "discipline" too far all the time. But the story you're about to read doesn't sound like discipline. It sounds like torture, plain and simple. Cops in Utah say two women took hot sauce and poured it in the eyes of a 14-year-old boy to punish him for breaking a glass. And this wasn't some one-off mistake for Robin Willette Rumsey, the boy's mother, and her friend, Krista Jean Miller. The two women have allegedly been torturing the child for quite some time.

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    Post by Jeanne Sager
    I tend to be one of those "to each his own" kind of parents. You do things your way; I'll do things my way ... and we can get along just fine. But I will never understand the kind of guy who ends up as America's "number one deadbeat parent." His name is Robert Sand, and when cops finally caught up with him recently, he was $1.2 million behind on child support. That's spread over three kids and two ex-wives, but still. More than one MILLION dollars!

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    Post by Jeanne Sager
    Have you ever heard of the Darwin Awards? It's basically this satirical award for people whose stupidity was so colossal that they ended up screwing themselves over, and I love them. In fact, I love them about as much as I love stupid criminals. Take the guy who has been cruising the Los Angeles area trying to kidnap little kids. This week an 11-year-old girl managed to escape from his car and rescue a 7-year-old while she was at it. Bravo to that brave little girl! She needs a medal or a pony or something! And not just because she was a self-rescuing princess. She also handed the cops a wealth of information on this moron.

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    Post by Jeanne Sager
    Last week I went on a business trip, a press junket to the premiere of Oz the Great and Powerful, and I took a ton of photographs. Naturally, I jumped on Facebook when I got home to see what my friends had to say. And there it was, a criticism right beneath a photo of me with a statue of Ralph from the Oscar-nominated film Wreck-It Ralph. In it I was sticking my tongue out, my go-to pose in any photo, and the comment came from an aunt who called me out for being immature. The barb hurt; I won't deny it. Because the truth is so much more complicated. I don't stick my tongue out in photos because I'm clinging to my youth so much as I'm clinging to the idea that people will be so focused on my tongue that they will miss my body.

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    Post by Jeanne Sager
    I don't know where to begin with this story, so I'm just going to dive in. Seven years ago, a mom gave birth to a set of twin boys. One was perfectly healthy. The other was born with a rare disfigurement that has essentially given him only half a face. And now Henry and Oliver Machin's mom is sharing their photo with the world so she can talk about something pretty dark and disturbing. For years, Charlene Machin said she did not love one of her sons. In fact, when she talks about her child, her little boy born with a left eye, ear, and nostril that never developed, she uses words like "waves of terror" and "grief."

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    Post by Jeanne Sager
    There are now officially two types of people in America. The ones who thought Oscars host Seth MacFarlane singing about seeing the boobs of America's most talented actresses on film was hilarious. And the ones who felt really bad that they'd just been snarking on Anne Hathaway's nipples on the red carpet because they were totally offended by We Saw Your Boobs. Ah yes, American hypocrisy at its best. One minute "Anne Hathaway Les Nipperables" was trending on Twitter as the world homed in on the pointy bits of the Les Miserables actress' Prada dress. The next the Twitterverse was exploding with complaints that the Family Guy creator's opening number was offensive to women.

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    Post by Jeanne Sager
    Billy Crystal he isn't, but Seth MacFarlane did one heckuva job hosting the 85th Annual Oscars. One heckuva job testing the boundaries of just how far he could go without being run right off the stage inside the Dolby Theatre, that is. The Ted director's jokes ran the gamut from hilarious to risky to downright offensive. MacFarlane has already stated that this was a one-shot deal; he'd never be hosting the Oscars again. And after jokes about domestic violence (in reference to Rihanna and Chris Brown) and a rather racist comment about actor Don Cheadle, he's probably right. Here are some of his worst "jokes" of the night:

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    Post by Jeanne Sager
    All right, parents, it's time to talk about something no Mom or Dad really wants to face. Does your kid have an eating disorder? Are you sure? Turns out the median onset for most eating disorders is around 12 or 13 years old. Been awhile since you took a math class? Median is a number right in the middle. In other words, there are plenty of kids starting even YOUNGER than the teen years. Still positive your kid doesn't have an eating disorder? Yeah, that's what my parents thought too ... up until the day I came home from college and confessed I'd been bulimic for the past three years and they never knew. Fast forward more than a decade, and now I'm a mother who is determined not to let all the myths about eating disorders get in my way.

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    Post by Jeanne Sager
    You may have heard that author Hilary Mantel has come out with guns blazing for Kate Middleton. But the more people come out to defend the Duchess of Cambridge, the more we realize this has shades of Princess Diana all over it. The double Man Booker prize winner stood up in a lecture at the British Museum last week on royal bodies and compared Prince William's bride to a hunk of plastic. Dubbed a "venomous attack" by one British newspaper, the description of Middleton as "a jointed doll on which certain rags are hung" was at best hyper critical. At worst? Mantel's decision to rip apart the pregnant princess in public as a means to support her theory that it's time to bid the monarchy goodbye was dehumanizing. As dehumanizing as the attacks on the duchess' mother-in-law all those years ago.

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    Post by Jeanne Sager
    All I can say is it's about darn time. Superhero undies for girls are finally hitting the shelves. Parents have only spent how long buying their daughters packs of boys underwear before it happened?  I know, I know. I should not look a gift horse in the mouth. Let me just put this out there: I am happy that Fruit of the Loom has paired with DC Comics to bring out a line of superhero underwear for little girls. Ecstatic. Over the moon.

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    Post by Jeanne Sager
    When I brought my newborn daughter home from the hospital, she was nearly 7 pounds. Still, I could hardly believe that I was responsible for this tiny human being! I felt like she was the tiniest, most fragile thing on the planet. Even looking back, I still feel that way, but then I read stories like that of little Jayce Odin Boelk who was born at -- get this -- 13 ounces! Let me repeat that: ounces. That's just a tiny bit bigger than a can of soda! It's the size of a first class letter! Only we're not talking cans of soda or envelopes. We're talking about a baby. And now for the amazing news.

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    Post by Jeanne Sager
    If a mother's worst nightmare is the death of her child, I don't know what to call what Nicole Harris went through. The mom from Chicago was just released from prison after serving nearly eight years for a crime she didn't commit. Harris was sent away for murdering her 4-year-old son, Jaquari Dancy, in 2005, but the conviction has been overturned. At the time, back in 2005, Harris confessed to cops that she was to blame for the boy's death. He'd been found with an elastic bedsheet cord around his neck in a bedroom in the family's home. What kind of mother confesses to such a thing?

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    Post by Jeanne Sager
    I wasn't sure whether we should be getting out a fat, black marker to make a mark on the calendar or call out the National Guard. Teen Mom 2 star Jenelle Evans had not overshared the intimate details of her life on Twitter in four whole days. And then the news broke: Jenelle Evans is in rehab. Of course she is. Only a force as powerful as an orderly could keep this girl from sharing her drama with the world. And now for the really pressing question: why the heck is Jenelle Evans in rehab ... this time?

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    Post by Jeanne Sager
    If you've never had a bad boss, count yourself lucky. Most of us have had to deal with some serious creeps over the years. Twyla DeVito just got fired by one. The bartender called the cops on a drunk who was climbing in his car to drive off into the night, and her boss decided to can her for it. Yeah, you read that right. A bartender was fired for protecting average citizens from a drunk driver. How does that happen, you ask?

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    Post by Jeanne Sager
    Say what you will about Snooki, but since she became a mother to little Lorenzo, she has really been trying to be a good mom. She's even been breastfeeding the little guy -- albeit doing it the hard way by pumping her milk. But when MTV decided to make the Jersey Shore star their official "baby correspondent," you had to know some of the crazy Nicole was going to come back out. And boy did it ever! Snooki came out with a list of parenting tips for new parents Wiz Khalifa and Amber Rose that is, well, shall we just say it's pure Snooki? Especially her thoughts on breast milk!

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    Post by Jeanne Sager
    Need further proof that it's tough out there when you're parenting a daughter? Moms and Dads got great news yesterday that there are now superhero undies for girls too! I was so high off the ground from that one that I should have known the landing was going to hurt something awful. And it did ... that's when someone forwarded me a Rants From Mommyland blog post about Daddy's Shoes. Haven't heard of them? You're lucky. Parent company Skechers is advertising to our kids on TV channels like The Hub, trying to draw them in with some seriously backward thinking about the father/daughter relationship.

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