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Channel: The Stir By CafeMom: Blogger Jeanne Sager
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Beyonce's Sonogram Is More Than Anyone Really Needs to See

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Post by Jeanne Sager
Can you believe it's been a year since Blue Ivy Carter made her way into the world? Apparently her famous parents can't either. Word has it Beyonce's sonogram will be revealed in an upcoming HBO documentary, throwing us back into the kind of celebrity pregnancy hoop-la we haven't seen since, um, well, since a week or two ago when Kanye West dropped his "Kim's having my baby news." But enough about Kimye! Beyonce certainly wouldn't want to be sharing the spotlight with a Kardashian right now. She's got an amorphous black and white blob to show off because everyone needs to see that, right? I said, right?

Miss America 2013 Mallory Hagan Sounds Like a Genius Next to Her Competition

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Post by Jeanne Sager
Did you watch Miss America 2013 get crowned? What? You're too smart for that kind of thing? Allow me to knock you off that pedestal you've built for yourself. Miss New York, er, Miss America 2013 Mallory Hytes Hagan isn't just gorgeous (although she is certainly that). She's a 23-year-old who ran for Miss America on a child sexual abuse prevention and managed to come up with a thoughtful response to the question of placing armed guards outside American elementary schools on the spot. Not exactly the topic most of us who avoid pageants (raises hand) expected out of Miss America, but there it was.

Celeb Dad Ben Affleck's Hands Are the Cutest Accessory in Hollywood (PHOTO)

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Post by Jeanne Sager
They always say you can tell a lot about a person by looking at their hands, and I'd say it's official. The award for cutest hands in Hollywood goes to Ben Affleck. Take a peek at the director at the Critics' Choice Awards this week with scribbles all over his hands, and you'll agree. At first glance, the black lines don't seem to make a whole lot of sense. But the father of three has a story to go with the scribbles. Key word here: father.

Tom Cruise Crazy Aliens Theory Is the Least of His Problems

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Post by Jeanne Sager
Remember when Tom Cruise jumped on Oprah's couch, and America started to think he was a little nutty? The way a new tell-all book from a Pulitzer Prize winning author tells it, that was one of his good days! The Tom Cruise that writer Lawrence Wright is introducing in his expose is a guy on a mission to protect us from aliens! That's only a small portion of what Going Clear: Scientology, Hollywood & The Prison of Belief wants us to believe about the guy was once the hottest actor in Hollywood. And believe it or not, it's not what makes Katie Holmes and Nicole Kidman sound like the luckiest women on the planet for getting away from Tom.

Kidnapper Signs 5-Year-Old Out of School and Makes Us Wonder How Safe Our Kids Really Are

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Post by Jeanne Sager
If you have ever complained about how inconvenient it is to have to sign your own kid out of her elementary school, get ready to eat your words. A missing 5-year-old girl has been found in Philadelphia, but it's no thanks to the folks who allowed a kidnapper to take Na'illa Robinson out of school on Monday morning. How could this happen? Aren't we supposed to be seeing more school security in the wake of the Sandy Hook tragedy, not less?

'Teen Mom' Jenelle Evans Has Better Things to Do Than Go to College

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Post by Jeanne Sager
Get out your calendars and a marker, folks, because the latest Teen Mom news needs to be marked down. Jenelle Evans is taking the responsible route! The Teen Mom 2 star has been taking serious heat on Twitter because she's not currently enrolled in college -- even though co-stars Kailyn and Chelsea have both managed to juggle single motherhood with going back to school. But the way Jenelle tells it, she's got a pretty valid reason for putting off her degree. Any guesses?

Teacher Has Fear of Kids So She Sues School for Making Her Teach Them

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Post by Jeanne Sager
Here's your good laugh for the day. A teacher is suing her former school district because she says they discriminated against her illness. But we're not just talking any illness here. Maria Waltherr-Willard claims to suffer from a fear of children. I mentioned that she was a teacher, didn't I? Ah, only in America do we have teachers who want money for being forced to teach a bunch of little ankle-biters who give them the willies.

Kim Kardashian Wants to Breastfeed Her Sister's Kids (VIDEO)

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Post by Jeanne Sager
Remember the Kim Kardashian who was icked out by a woman breastfeeding near her in public? The mother-to-be hasn't even popped this kid out yet, and already Kim is changing her tune. Say hello to the Kim Kardashian who is thinking of breastfeeding her sister's kids! And seeing as they're all share and share alike in the Dash clan, Kim has even considered the notion of letting sister Kourtney breastfeed baby Kimye when he or she shows up. Think it's crazy? Well, when you put it their way ...

7 Inspiring Quotes From Celebrities Who Have Battled Breast Cancer

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Post by Jeanne Sager
In a nation where one in eight women are expected to be treated for invasive breast cancer in their lives, we have a nation full of women who have come out on the other side. Among them are ladies like Giuliana Rancic and Hoda Kotb who have taken advantage of their celebrity status to talk about breast cancer in a way that reminds us there is hope! Thank goodness their quotes are out there for us to lean on. After all, there is no way to describe what it's like for women to hear the words "you have breast cancer." Suddenly there are words being thrown at them they've never truly considered before: chemotherapy, radiation, lumpectomy, mastectomy, reconstruction. But we could always use something else. 

High School to Give Kids Breathalyzers Before School Dances

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Post by Jeanne Sager
Kids who show up to school dances at one Massachusetts high school will have something surprising waiting for them. From now on, there will be cops waiting at the doors of Belmont High School, armed with breathalyzers. Yikes! Has it really gone this far?

'Teen Mom' Star Complains MTV Only Shows Half the Story

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Post by Jeanne Sager
Do you ever watch Teen Mom and think, "Oooh, that is so not real"? Join the club. Already a member? Tyler Baltierra. The fiance of Catelynn Lowell and star of four straight seasons of Teen Mom, Baltierra is a household name because of MTV. But he had no problem taking the channel to task for not showing the entire story of the stars' lives. Yikes! Talk about biting the hand that feeds you!

Bugaboo Stroller Recall: 7 Things You Need to Know

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Post by Jeanne Sager
Uh oh! The company that gave us $1,000 strollers is pulling some 50,000 of them off the market this week. Bugaboo is recalling both its Donkey and Cameleon models after reports of handles that detach -- putting the babies inside them at risk of falling or choking! It's a scary recall affecting everyday moms and celebrities alike (Bethenny Frankel is among the moms who's been spotted with a Bugaboo), but don't freak. Here's everything you need to know to keep your baby safe!

'Teen Mom' Jenelle Evans Pregnant With Baby #2 and We're Scared Already

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Post by Jeanne Sager
It's happened. Jenelle Evans has finally managed to completely shock us. The Teen Mom 2 star is ... get this ... pregnant. Yes, pregnant, as in there's a bun in that oven. As in Jace is going to have a half-sibling. As in the woman who does not actually have custody of the child who exists in this world is going to pop another one out! Maybe the Mayans were on to something? The world didn't end, but there is this ...

Science Teacher Fired for Starring in Adult Films Should Get a Second Chance

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Post by Jeanne Sager
In the latest bit of news that confirms America is full of prudes, a California woman dubbed the "porn star teacher" by the media has lost her bid to return to teaching kids middle school science. Stacie Halas was fired last year after students found out she'd starred in adult films, even though she'd straightened out her life and gone legitimate with a teaching career. And now a panel of judges says Halas can never really be a good teacher because of her past. The court ruling says the availability of this teacher's porno past online will always "impede her from being an effective teacher." Wow, a three-judge panel just sold every kid in America short!

First Graders Suspended for Playing Cops and Robbers

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Post by Jeanne Sager
You know, I'm really getting tired of kids being punished for being normal kids. But here we go again. First graders at a Maryland elementary school have been suspended for having the audacity to play a good old-fashioned game of cops and robbers. OMG. Don the Kevlar! Call out the National Guard! Six-year-olds are playing games on the playground!

NRA Slams Obama for Letting Cops Protect His Kids (VIDEO)

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Post by Jeanne Sager
Leave it to the National Rifle Association to come up with the most backward argument against gun control yet. In a new ad, the NRA targets the guns carried by the Secret Service to protect President Obama's daughters in what is meant to convince Americans that our "elitist" president is hoarding all the good stuff for his family. Wait a minute, haven't we seen this one before? It's awfully close to that photo on Facebook that shows the Obama family surrounded by Secret Service, and littered across the photo is the word gun, multiple times. Both are propaganda supposed to make us outraged that the Obamas get guns. There's just one problem.

Is 'Teen Mom' Jenelle Evans Faking a Pregnancy for Money?

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Post by Jeanne Sager
Jenelle Evans' new husband Courtland Rogers just sold a story to the tabloids saying the Teen Mom is pregnant, and already people are calling BS. Thanks in no small part to a trove of information Jenelle herself has put out on Twitter, there's already a contingent of the scandal-plagued reality star's critics who claim she's faking the whole thing.  It's a pretty serious accusation! So, would she? Could she? Let's take a look at the so-called evidence, shall we?

10 Photos Every Mom Needs to Take of Her Kids

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Post by Jeanne Sager
People with grownup kids love to tell those of us with little ones that "it goes so fast." And you know what? They're right. In a flash, they go from sleeping infant to smart-talking 7-year-old, and there's only one way to hold on to childhood: get a camera and start snapping. Only now you wonder, what photos do you take? Is there a way to capture it all? The answer, quite simply, is no. BUT there are a number of key photos parents absolutely must take of their kids! These are the pictures you'll look back on in years to come and be able to flash back in time.

Father's Corpse Stolen From Cemetery and Grieving Brothers Can't Bear to Say Goodbye

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Post by Jeanne Sager
Such a sad story out of Detroit. Two adult brothers allegedly stole their dad's body right out of the cemetery! Now the grown men are in facing charges for disinterment, a charge that could land them in prison for 10 years. But hold on just a second. Before we get all up in arms about the rights of the dead to a peaceful slumber, let's talk about this case, shall we? The cops in Detroit say the elder of the two men, a 48-year-old, was incredibly distraught over the recent death of their mother and losing their father. In fact, this whole scheme is said to have been cooked up with one plan in mind.

'Teen Mom' Jenelle Evans' Baby Bump Photo Is Pregnancy Confirmation We've Been Waiting For

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Post by Jeanne Sager
All right, drop the "she's faking it" conspiracy theories. It's looking like Jenelle Evans really is pregnant! The Teen Mom has come out to confirm her pregnancy as only Jenelle can.  She tweeted a photo of her "baby bump" -- or as much as a bump as a woman has when she's just about seven weeks into pregnancy. And in true Jenelle fashion, it's a doozy. Are you ready? Might want to chase the kids out of the room, y'all.
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