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I have strung words together for The New York Times, Vice, and more. I write and shoot people (with a camera, you guys) from my home in upst...

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    Post by Jeanne Sager
    The incestuous world of the Bachelor and Bachelorette just got a whole lot more complicated. Bear with me, because this is about to get tricky. Courtney Robertson -- you know, the girl who was just freed from her engagement to Bachelor Ben Flajnik -- was caught kissing Arie Luyendyk Jr. Arie, of course, was one of the guys fighting to win Emily Maynard's heart in the Bachelorette. If Emily hasn't already put in a call to the florist, it's time. Courtney deserves at least a few dozen roses for this one, don't you think?

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    Post by Jeanne Sager
    Turns out Miley Cyrus' hair isn't the only thing in her life that's been through a drastic change. The guy being called the scissor stalker for jumping the fence at Miley's house with a pair of shears in his hand was adament that he wasn't doing anything wrong a month ago. Now suddenly Jason Luis Rivera has agreed to spend 18 months in prison. Rivera actually opted OUT of a probation sentence that would have allowed him to be a free man. Maybe 18 months without worrying that he's going to sneak up on her was his gift to Liam Hemsworth's fiancee? As gifts from celebrity stalkers go, it's a pretty nice one.

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    Post by Jeanne Sager
    Elizabeth Escalona has become known as the glue mom, the mom who glued her 2-year-old daughter's hands to a wall during a fit of pique while potty training the toddler. And now glue mom will be the woman parents think of before they abuse their kids. Because Elizabeth Escalona has been sentenced to 99 years in prison for what she did to little Joselyn Cedillo. Ninety-nine years. That's more time than sadistic pedophile Jerry Sandusky got for more than 40 counts of child abuse. And you know what? It sounds about right.

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    Post by Jeanne Sager
    Brother, things are getting really weird with the Hulk Hogan sex tape business. Or should I say weirder? The mustachioed former wrestler is so concerned about keeping this in the news fixing this sex tape business, that he called in the FBI to help him track down whoever outed footage of him doing the nasty with buddy Bubba the Love Sponge's (yes, that's his real name) wife Heather Clem. Because nothing screams "taxpayer dollars well spent" like a bunch of federal agents sitting around a dark room watching a bleach blond with big boobs and some woman getting down looking for clues? Ay yi yi.

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    Post by Jeanne Sager
    It's sounding like Katie Holmes has finally discovered the key to finding the woman she can be without Tom Cruise. Rumor has it she's finally dating again! And the guy might sound familiar for those fans who loved her way beck before Scientology's poster boy swept her into his couch-jumping frenzy. There's a rumor (and I do mean rumor) that Katie is rekindling a romance with her old fiance Chris Klein. 'Memba him? Single moms in Katie's boat, listen up! This bit of Katie news may finally force Tom's ghost to the other side (along with some other no-good ex-husbands).

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    Post by Jeanne Sager
    So Red Bull might not give you wings, but the Austrian energy drink maker gave Felix Baumgartner the ability to make the gutsiest skydive in history today. The 24-mile jump through space that's been dubbed the Red Bull Stratos was delayed by fierce winds earlier in the week, but today it happened. It was one step for man, one giant freefall through space for mankind. Not to mention the greatest PR stunt pulled off since Hulk Hogan's sex tape made him relevant again (OK, so that was just this morning, but still ...).  Have you seen Apollo 13? Remember how freaked out Ed Harris was waiting to hear from Tom Hanks and his buddies during their return to earth inside a NASA-built tin can? Red Bull convinced a guy to do it with nothing but a pressurized space suit between him and all those layers of atmosphere.

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    Post by Jeanne Sager
    Can you think of anything more depressing than taking a 3-year-old to prison to visit her mom? That's what Teen Mom star Gary Shirley has on his agenda. Leah, the toddler daughter of Teen Mom Amber Portwood, will finally get to see her mother after months of being told she was "driving a Twinkie truck" (among other lies). It's about darn time! I know, I said it was depressing. But that doesn't mean Gary and Amber should continue to lie to their toddler for the five years Amber is expected to remain a guest of the Indiana Department of Corrections. As uncomfortable as we all are with the idea of kids inside prisons, it's almost guaranteed to be better for the child in the long run.

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    Post by Jeanne Sager
    Well, it's about darn time. The HPV vaccine is in the news today because researchers finally got around to studying how the shot meant to prevent cervical cancer affects our teens' desire to go out and have sex. Their findings may be shocking to some. Turns out the HPV vaccine does absolutely nothing to encourage teens to be promiscuous. Got that, America? Protecting your kid from an STD isn't going to turn them into sluts!

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    Post by Jeanne Sager
    In case your kids trying to shove costume catalogs in your face while you're trying to watch the Grey's Anatomy episode you DVR'd two weeks ago hasn't clued you in: Halloween is almost here! And now the same kids who are too scared to sleep without four night lights insist that they're up for some spooky Halloween stories. If you have a kid like mine, you know if you treat your kid to an evening of ghost stories, you'll be treated to a night of a child sleeping in your bed, hogging the comforter. I have a better idea. How about just digging into the bookshelf for a couple stories actually made for kids? Half the stuff out there is so darn creepy we wonder if guys like the Brothers Grimm didn't have Halloween in mind to begin with ...

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    Post by Jeanne Sager
    It looks like we have another sad story to add to the never-ending debate about guns in America. A 15-year-old Alabama teenager named Jesse Rainey is in critical condition after being shot in the head by a friend during a fake home invasion. A gun used for protection turned out to be anything but. Apparently a group of eight teenagers were spending the weekend at the home of one boy's grandmother when a few decided it would be funny to prank their pals. They "broke in" to Granny's house, but it all went south when one kid, scared of a group of guys he really thought were breaking in, grabbed a gun.

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    Post by Jeanne Sager
    Man, oh man, did Jennifer Aniston give fans of Chelsea Handler's Chelsea Lately a show this week. First there was Jen getting all verklempt over her engagement to Justin Theroux. Then there were Jen's nipples. What, you missed those? How in the heck could you have? They were both there, fully at attention! I'm not sure what this says about me (although I'm sure the Internet will be happy to let me know), but when I saw the little clip of Aniston tearing up, I was completely distracted by her girls.

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    Post by Jeanne Sager
    Are you ready for the second presidential debate tonight between President Barack Obama and former Massachusetts governor Mitt Romney? Got your Team Romney or Team Obama sweatshirt? How about your list of fact checking sites to help you evaluate which candidate is telling the truth and which one is blowing smoke up your you-know-what? Good news on the last one: if you want to know if the Democrat or the Republican is lying during the debate, we've got you covered.

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    Post by Jeanne Sager
    Ah, fall. You can hear the crunch of the leaves. You can smell the apple cider being pressed. And you can see the absolutely ridiculous Halloween costumes people are pulling out for their babies. I just don't get it. There are hundreds of adorable options for parents out there, and still, every year there has to be at least one idiot in the neighborhood who decides to dress their infant like Christian Grey ... or worse.  Think you've seen some really bad baby costumes? Just you wait. We've got some of the worst.

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    Post by Jeanne Sager
    The Here Comes Honey Boo Boo clan has a hit TV show on their hands and a big raise from TLC to come. So what is Mama June Shannon going to do with all that money? Improve her kids' lives? Nah, she's putting the cash away ... for the future. Wait, what? June and Honey Boo Boo herself, little Alana Thompson, showed up on Jimmy Kimmel this week where the 7-year-old made her now viral announcement that she wants to see President Obama re-elected. But while everyone's talking about whether kids should get involved in politics, June's big announcement has been seriously ignored.

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    Post by Jeanne Sager
    By some accounts, it's a miracle. A 96-year-old dad named Ramajit Raghav from India has become the world's oldest father, again. Two years ago he was named the world's oldest dad when he fathered a son at 94. But now that his wife has once again delivered a child, bringing him to two kids at 96, he's broken his own world record. Woohoo. Pass the Metamucil, and let's celebrate! Just don't pass him the baby, he might not be able to hold it.

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    Post by Jeanne Sager
    It's been three years since baby Gabriel Johnson went missing. It's been three years since cops say his mother, Elizabeth Johnson, started a flurry of text messages to the 8-month-old's dad, claiming she'd killed the little boy. And now Elizabeth is hoping a jury will believe her that it was all just a big, fat misunderstanding. Even though her 8-month-old child hasn't been seen or heard from in three years, and she can't say where he is. If you believe her, I've got a bridge to sell you real cheap, y'all. The Baby Gabriel case -- as it's been dubbed in Johnson's native Arizona -- has got to be about as close to a slam dunk as you can get for a prosecutor.

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    Post by Jeanne Sager
    So, there you are, perusing your kid's Facebook page like a responsible parent, and blam-O! There's some 20-year-old college student named Freddie Love who wants to be friends with your 12-year-old daughter. What do you do? Shut down her page? Or do you pose as your daughter, right down to a wig and hoodie, and catch the perv on the prowl?  You get where this is going, don't you? A mother in Texas actually did it! She posed as her own daughter to catch a predator! She may just be my new hero ... and yours. Especially when you hear who "Freddie Love" turned out to be!

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    Post by Jeanne Sager
    Whitney Heichel had the kind of drive to work that commuters dream about. It would normally take the missing Starbucks barista two minutes to drive from the Oregon apartment she shared with her husband to work. Only Tuesday after Whitney got in her car, something happened. The 21-year-old hasn't been seen since she kissed husband Clint Heichel goodbye on Tuesday morning and left for work. In two minutes she disappeared. It's so strange that it's downright chilling.

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    Post by Jeanne Sager
    Move over Casey Anthony! A New Orleans mom who police say killed her kids, then jumped on a bus, is about to draw a lot of the "bad mom" hate her way. Chelsea Thornton apparently showed up at the hospital complaining that she had a headache and a stomach ache. A headache and a stomach ache. And meanwhile, her 3- and 4-year-old kids were DEAD?! I'm not sure it gets much more callous!

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    Post by Jeanne Sager
    Just when you didn't think anything could be more inappropriate than Pizza Hut trying to sneak an advertising gimmick into the presidential debate, America's Fifty Shades of Grey obsession has reared its ugly head. E.L. James' erotic novel cropped up during the New York Senate debate this week. You know, the debate between Senator Kirsten Gillibrand and her challenger, Wendy Long ... two women. Apparently if you can't put 'em in a binder, you slap some handcuffs on women and throw 'em in a red room of pain.

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